This girl messaged me after 10 years of not speaking--she was my best friend at one time, but my bf at the time cheated on me with her. I have let a lot of hate grow in my heart over this. I have held a grudge this long. She is now married with kids, and we've definately both matured. I emailed her back and told her how I felt, and I told her that I forgave her for it. I felt this was the best way to try and let go of this hate in my heart before it ate me from the inside out. I do feel a bit relieved actually. Of course I won't forget, but I was only 15 when the incident occured, I'm now 24. Would you agree that forgiveness was a good, mature move on my part? To just face the 'fear' I had in my heart, respond to her as she was reaching out to me (this was her 2nd attempt), and to help me move on from that hate?
2007-12-06 15:50:26 · 21 answers · asked by Miss Rachel 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She did you a big favor by allowing you the opportunity to release and forgive. You are 100% right, it was eating you up and needed to end. Good for both of you!
2007-12-06 15:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, move on from the hate. It happened a long time ago and neither of you are in the same place now. Also, if your boyfriend cheated on you with her, then he wasn't much of a boyfriend because cheating takes two. She's married now, her life has changed and you've both matured as you have said. If you held a grudge towards everyone who did you wrong you'd end up hating a great number of people. Also, haven't you ever screwed up somewhere and wanted to be forgiven? It's time to let go, turn the page, and start a new chapter. Let it begin with forgiveness.
2007-12-06 23:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by flick12003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should always forgive and forget. It will help make both you and her feel a lot better about yourselves and each other. She has already or attempted to move on by reaching out to you, so you should do the same. I think you should respond, esp now that you have both matured. Who knows what you guys hold in the future? I know its hard to believe, but being in these types of situations could have possibly helped or will help you in the future. You know what you should do if someone else comes up to you in the same situation.
Remember, "GOD never gives more than anything you cant handle." (1 corinthians 10:13) and "I can do all things in Him, who gives me strength." (Philipians 4:13)
Now for kicks, go watch The Grudge. And have a good time.
2007-12-07 00:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by SailorDumb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what you did was the best thing for YOU. This happened a long time ago when you were young. People can change and she tried to contact you, maybe this was because she was ready for a "resolution" as well. But more importantly, I think it's good you did it for YOU...to heal your heart, forgive and move on from the situation. Life's too short to be angry forever about something you can't change. Who knows, maybe both of you can start communicating again and be friends, on some level, again....as the trust is regained.
2007-12-06 23:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Gretel's Bread Crumbs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i agree that this was definitly the best decision you could have made for both you and her. It was 10 years ago and time does move on. Life is just too short to hold grudges against people. I just hope she is sorry for what she did as cheating is Just NOT ON! It is a very low and very selfish thing to do. You would have to be a very strong and good person to be able to do that. Good for you! :)
2007-12-06 23:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by asdf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This same exact thing happened, but reversed genders....and it ended all good when I decided that I was over it....when all that time goes by, and you still keep pent up anger inside, then who is it hurting? I think the wise choice was telling her how you felt and moving forward. I used to hate the kid, but now, I am ok with him. We arent friends, but if I ever run into him, we are civil and can talk about old times and be happy!!!
2007-12-06 23:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by M76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it was a good move, but you don't need a big pat on the back from everyone on here. Part of forgiving her is to let it go and not dwell on the past...or how nicely you forgave her. It was a decade ago. Move on.
2007-12-06 23:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by Jacqueline D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah just forget about it its been a couple of years already. its obvious that she really regrets what she did. you did the right thing forgiving her and that was a really brave move of hers to say sorry after some years. maybe your friendship should start anew as Christmas is nearing and a brand new year approaches.^^
2007-12-06 23:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by icriedherariver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You done the right thing, Hate in your heart can harm you too.the both of you were young and young people do stupid things. let it go for both of your sakes and life will be good. This goes to show how good of a person you are.
2007-12-06 23:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Richard R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you did good in forgiving her. hatred is not good for the heart. if you were only 15 i'd think both of you have matured by now. you can begin your relationship from square one and go from there. good luck.
2007-12-06 23:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by over the rainbow girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋