I was upset and at the same time embarrased that one of my co-workers would put down her own race to the opposite race. I am african-american and so is she. There are nine employees in my department, and three of us are african-american. The rest are caucasian.
Our department's year end party is scheduled for next week and they are taking us to an expensive and ritzy place. We are all standing around talking about it today, and my co-worker said "I dont' like going to them fancy places where the food is all fancy. Just give me some good ole' country food and I'll be fine. You know black people don't like that kind of fancy stuff. I'm one black person that don't".
I wanted to interrupt her and say "Speak for yourself". Me and my husband RARELY go to ritzy places. Maybe once every year if that. But we do eat out quite a bit and know what good food is. I personally like food that is presented well. She sounded so ignorant when she said that.
2007-12-06 15:13:20 · 12 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Me and the other african-american girl looked at each other in disbelief. Not only was she putting down her own race, she sounded ignorant and made all of us look like we had no class. It's like she goes overboard to show people how "black" she is. Especially other white people.
Is it just me or was she out of line for what she did.
2007-12-06 15:15:23 · update #1
She sounds just like trash altogether and if she says it again and lumps you in with her say what you planned to. Speak for yourself. Rise above it it sounds like the other girls agree with you. There is always one crazy person in every office and she sounds like it. Good luck
2007-12-06 18:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by feeona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've never been in your exact situation, but I'm in a biracial relationship and I've had to put up with a lot of stereotyping about what my husband is like before they meet him. I get those kind of comments from all races.
Some you can just kind of laugh off because they're obviously comical stereotypes, but others are a bit offensive.
I don't think there's any tactful way to approach the situation with your co-worker, but maybe next time she says something inclusive like that you could just add your own voice and say something like, "Well, I personally, love going out to a nice restaurant. It's a nice change from the day to day." Or something similar.
That way you can assert that you're and independent person and you don't want to be "pigeon-holed" and it's not rude to your co-worker.
Basically, you can't stop her from sounding ignorant, but you can stop her from making you sound ignorant.
Good luck!
2007-12-06 15:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by christiekpoe 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, great question. Could of been an episode on Tyra. Reading your 2nd paragraph though, this lady doesn't really 'put down' her own race she just makes an ignorant generalization. But you could have responded with; food is food and as long as it's good it doesn't matter if it's fancy or not, and just let her know she can't speak for all black people.
2007-12-06 15:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by SnoopFroggyFrog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who was in earshot was as probably as horrified as you were. I think it is ridiculous for people to assume that all African-Americans think the same. Still, you could always make some comment like "Oh I am soooo excited to go to (enter restaurant here). My husband and I haven't been to a nice restaurant in a long time!"
2007-12-06 15:28:48 · answer #4 · answered by Carmen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no person desires justification thus far absolutely everyone they pick and that i do no longer think of that being rejected by making use of a small proportion of ladies folk on your very own race might warrant this manner of great determination. it must be the girls merely did no longer locate the guy appealing and have no longer something to do together with his race. It would not recommend that different races would locate him appealing greater so than his very own race, as properly if he grow to be nonetheless involved in his very own race the rejection in extreme college would not recommend he ought to now have greater effectual success his asians in college.. in case you want thus far outdoors your race please gain this!! no person CARES in case you DO!!
2016-10-10 10:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just might have been playing up to the stereotypes of African Americans. Saying what she said in a sarcastic tone.
2007-12-06 17:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have raised an eyebrow and spoken my thoughts out loud. She had no right to speak for the others; if she didn't like to go to fancy restaurants, that's her business.
2007-12-06 16:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by annabelle p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are making too much of the situation. Maybe she was just trying to be humorous and didn't say it just right.
I think you should have said something like "Oh, I don't know, I, for one, enjoy going to ritzy restaurants."
2007-12-06 15:22:44 · answer #8 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Definitely out of line. You should have spoken up and told her that just because she doesn't like good restaurants, that doesn't mean that nobody likes it.
The opportunity may still present itself. Speak up.
2007-12-06 17:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in that situation, i would just let it go ' that she behave's this way , it is only for attention, you are too! smart for that rap, don't let her spoil you'r holiday, and try to stay away from people who speak in that manner or it may rub off on you and then you will be an embarrssment to other's. she is in her own world, Happy Holiday's to you and you'rs.
2007-12-06 16:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by lytesdelite 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋