What is it for?

Question

I'm tired. Mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally -- I am dead. I have lost faith in fellow human beings. I have lost faith in myself. Perhaps my efforts will be fruitless; maybe I am naïve in believing somehow I will escape this infinite loop. I am arrogant in believing that maybe my efforts and thoughts will have any intellectual significance. These days, only a rare few concern themselves with ideas. Maybe it is with reason. Why live to become another drone? Happiness? Where is happiness if my own critical, constant introspection leeches it? Money? Fame? What is it? Nobody cares for my ideas but me.

My body is failing me as I slowly fall into a cycle of mania and depression. If death were to come upon me now, I would embrace it.

I don't know why I post here. Likely, I will be flamed. Perhaps you can offer some insight.

No, I'm not a writer. I'm still 14. Maybe it's hormones? =\

I haven't used medication. Haven't been to a therapist.

Answer 1

wow. you must be having a hard time.

i understand where you are coming from. there is a lot of bad stuff going on around us, and it seems the media is always happy to broadcast more examples of man's inhumanity to man, or man's inhumanity to animals, or just plain meanness and stupidity. a constant media diet of doom and gloom isn't good for anyone's psyche.

i suspect you also may have some first hand experience with this kind of stuff.

we all want to feel like we make a difference in some way, that we have left a mark. and in a world of over 6 billion people, how do you do it?

you seem to want to make an intellectual mark. so, what have you done to try to accomplish this? this may seem like a trite idea, but have you considered working with kids, showing them the importance of higher thought? showing them examples of how reason and logic and ideas have not only shaped our world, but had an impact on them?

none of us is immortal, but we can all leave a legacy. i strive to make a positive difference in at least one other person's life each day. i do this by smiling at strangers, opening doors for people who have full hands, and generally acknowledging the people with whom i interact -- and acknowledging their worth as human beings. this is the legacy i hope to leave. and when it comes down to it, it is people who are our legacy, as we are not remembered by the grass and the trees, nor by the technology we create. we are remembered by the way we impact the lives of others.

i know that in my life, whenever i have been down, or had doubts, if i do things for others, it makes me feel better, and makes be appreciate my own life, and all the good things in my life so much more.

collecting donations for a food drive, volunteering at a soup kitchen, teaching classes to the elderly, attending or leading a discussion group about current events or philosophy, joining a reading circle....all of these things will cause you to have a different perspective on things, and many of them will allow you to interact with, and possibly influence, the people around you.

i'll leave you with one more thought...if you don't like the way your life is, only you can change it. and that is the one true power you have. and while often we need to look inward for happiness, sometimes we need to look outward. look around you and rejoice in the beauty around you, for there is always beauty. the sky, the clouds, the birds, the flowers, the grass, the people around you...let yourself truly experience these things, and embrace them. you are a worthy person, and you deserve happiness.

Answer 2

You express yourself very eloquently with words, are you a writer?

Don't let others change who you are, ruin your perspective and drag you down.

Get some help for the mania and depression, that will make a big difference. Staying on meds for that is very important, have you gone off any?

Take care, don't despair, life is tough but thinkers are needed to keep things sane.

Answer 3

Have you tried speaking to someone, a close friend, a doctor or clergy member of your feelings? I understand how lame it sounds to hear (and I always hate when people tell me the same thing) but sometimes speaking of the troubles and why you feel the way you do will help.

Answer 4

I find your question to very interesting btw...What is it for is to make a point, to have a reason for being, in my words, the purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. Usually, we don't have to waste time trying to discover our life purpose because it is not to be found, but to be created, I guess...What's the point of being successful and having plenty to live ON if one has nothing to live FOR? It is the belief in something greater than you(it doesn't have to be God or anything) and enthusiasm in pursuing it that makes life worth living....So I say Leave life in a better way that you found it, Because if you don't live life, then life lives you, and that SUCKS!.. :)

Answer 5

sounds to me like depression ,you need to see a Doctor , could be a hormonal imbalance, a variety of thing could be the issue see a Doctor! once you fall into a cycle of depression its hard to get out with out help, go get help!!