Please Help!!!!!!?

Question

I have a major life problem, I am a 15 year old boy. I have trouble getting along with my older brother (17 years old). In fact I don't even get along with him. (And younger directly than me). Yes we live in the same house with parents (and have three younger brothers). By not getting along with him I mean not even talking to him. I think the last time I might have had a 'fun' or 'brotherly' talk with him is years ago. Yes you are saying I need professional help, counselling. Its just that I am afraid and this took a lot of courage to right. I just need someone to talk to this about. I don't want to ruin my life even more. Can somebody help me out? Please just someone help me and talk to me. I would really appreciate it.

I will be adding more details. If you would like to help me. And will check frequently. Please be serious.

Another point I will add is that during our childhood we had this sort of rivalry and you know we were told to stop talking or the usual stuff parents tell you. But slowly what I saw is that we avoided each other so we would not hurt each other's feelings by swearing or what not. I don't think this is stuff you can just grow out of :(. I don't really know if he's finding his personal way in life.

My parents are sort of like the old school, must obey, parent (especially my mom). See we are from the Southern Asia and well families are a bit more different there. My mom will always no matter what in any given situation think her word is right and you shouldn't argue with her. My dad is just nice but he gets mad quickly and oh god.......

Answer 1

I think it's good you recognize that this is a major problem that needs to be addressed. What do you parents say, are they willing to put you two together to talk this out and make peace?

It is sad when siblings don't get along, especially since you are close in age. But, it is common for this when personalities form in teen years.

Do you have the courage to just say to him, hey look, I'm tired of this, can we work this out? If not, maybe talk to your parents and tell them you need their help. I can't believe they haven't noticed or done something by now.

Answer 2

I have to say... that the only way to begin a better relationship is talking about it. I know its tuff, my boyfriend never got along with is sister when he was a teen, and i mean he said he kinda hated her! Now they are very close, the relationship changed as they got older, and got better. Try thinking about the reason why you don't get along with him. Maybe you both need to make little changes. Maybe, you can suggest trying to make changes, but you need to be willing first. I admire your courage.

Answer 3

commucation. ask him one day why are we not getting along or why don't we talk. if he doesn't say anything to you. hey then you have try'ed and maybe after he see's you are tryin to talk to himand make a great move on tryin to get him to open up he may come around and just ell you. or if that doesn't work tell your parents that you have triedto talk to him but he will not talk to you ... be honest. now if he does talk to you tell him what is bother you about him and be completely honest and don't hold anything back unless like you have kissed his grilfriend cause that would only make it worse. but be honest. really. and be open about it. smile. remember keep your cool cause you are tryin to make this work and he is family. family always has to be there for each other no matter what..

Answer 4

First off - let yourself off the hook a little. When *two* people do not communicate, it's usually based on the actions of BOTH!

I would see a counselor - check with your school and see if you can talk to someone confidentially.

Getting to the bottom of "WHY" will help you determine how to move forward.

Answer 5

well. there are a lot of people, even blood relatives such as you who don't "get along." very well. That is just human nature, and nothing to worry about! Just try to get along as best you can until you (or him) strike out on your own. Heck, I haven't spoken to my brother in years and we're both seniors!

Answer 6

I would try to strike up a conversation with him. Maybe say "Can we talk?" or "Are you mad at me?" and take it from there. At least you'll know where you stand. I would also do it without your parents around. He wouldn't hurt you would he ?

Answer 7

i have an older brother too, it's just an older brother thing, when he was 17 he used to hate me! he would cuss at me, punch me, sometimes i would bleed, and he also has long nails, so he would cut me with his long nails. my parents took him to a doctor but that just made him worse and there's nothin we were able to do about it. but once he turned 18, he was the nicest boy you would ever meet, brothers are realy weird, so just try to talk to him, maybe in order to communicate, just try to talk to him and try to get through to him.

Answer 8

You will both grow out of it, me and my sister went through the same things and now we are like best friends

Answer 9

He is trying to branch out and find his own place in the world and you are his kid brother......all kids go through this....try to find some common ground with him...something you are both interested in....don't annoy him or get in his way.....pretty soon, you'll be acting this way with your younger brothers...remember how it feels....good luck!!

Answer 10

communicate!!! by expressing emotion, if u dont do that u r bound are both bound to failure in any future relationships. relationships are held up through communication, and expressing ur emotions is a part of that. i know its def tough but ya gotta do it!!
gl and all the best!