How should I handle this?

Question

My younger sister is coming home from college soon to stay with me, my husband,and our kids durning her Christmas vaction.She also stayed with us for almost 4 monthes this summer.The problem is is that she is a pot smoker. Personally I dont care whether she does it at school.Thats her business.I just dont want it in my house.We had problems with this during the summer.She was constantly smoking it in our garage 24/7.It got out of hand so me and my husband talked to her and said basically if you want to smoke it not in our house where there are kids. So she stopped smoking it here but was still constantly stoned.She's my sister so it makes it harder to just be like,"go your outta here."She said she wont bring it into our house this break but I dunno if I can trust her. (I really wont know short of searching her bags.She could have just not do it here in my house. My kids our get into everythin I just am scared they get into it. (toddler) Thinking of just telling he she cant stay here??

My kids safetly is my number one priority to me. I just dont want to do permanet damage to mine and my sisters relationship.

Answer 1

Your kids are your number one priority-you said it. If she doesn't respect that then I'd ask her to leave. You don't have any choice but to put your kids first.

Answer 2

Your big problem is that you knew she was doing it and you didn't kick her out. So now, she thinks she can get away with it.

Do you care about your home, husband and kids??? Because your house and cars could easily be taken away from you through government drug seizure laws. That means, whether or not YOU use drugs or not, and whether or not you had KNOWLEDGE about the amount of drugs - the FACT that the drugs were on your property is enough to have your home seized permanently by the government.

Oh, and that doesn't include the fact that the government can have your kids taken away too. This happens frequently. For example, many times kids will find a joint and bring it to school not knowing what it is - and show it to their friends. Your kids could find this joint months after your sister leaves - and bring it to school. You can say bye bye to your kids - they will be taken away from you.

SO - unless you want to risk all of the above happening to you - you HAD BETTER grow the F up and tell your sister that your family has a policy of NOT ALLOWING anyone who uses drugs into your home.... PERIOD.

You will NOT allow her into your home unless she submits to drug tests every other day - and she has to pay for them.

Get it, got it good

Answer 3

Yeah, kids first. Remember they are also your family. If she does smoke pot outside of your house, that means she is buying it outside of it as well. Some aggressive cop could follow her home(your house) and get a warrant to search your home. Thinking maybe she is dealer-user(many pot smokers do both). I assume your are a good person with nothing to hide, but I think you would rather your curious toddlers get into your personal stuff than a bunch of cops tearing through it while those terrified kids watch.

Answer 4

I don't blame you for not wanting pot smoking in your house, especially with kids...

Your sister needs to respect your wishes.. and you might consider addressing your personal boundaries. If your sister took you seriously, she'd never have smoked in or around your house the last time you asked her not to do so.

If your kids "get into everything" maybe they could use some training? I had two kids and as toddlers, they didn't get into everything...

Answer 5

Kids come first, if you have to resort to searching her stuff then you must do whats best for your children and search her stuff. If you find it on her tell her she promised she wouldn't bring it and you do not want it around your kids. Bottom line. She is staying with you and your family she has to respect that. Hope I helped,

Love
Abi