I don't know what to do anymore?

Question

I'm 18 years old and I don't know what to do with my life. I have two jobs delivering newspapers and working at retail store. My only friends are not my friends anymore cause they do drugs now. I just found out that im not able to college because my parents used all the loans towards college for my sister. I'm getting really bad grades but trying to get them back up. My parents are making me pay for my braces for my teeth and I still haven't got my molars removed which is about $1,500 all together and I just bought my car and have no more money. I fell like im going nowhere and ive be feeling really depressed.

Answer 1

The thing that really jumps out at me about your question is...that you're just 18 years old. Consider what you've just said:

--You're working two jobs,
--You're struggling with grades and high school, even though your folks have told you they can't pay for college (more on that in a bit),
--You're having to *Pay For* your own dentistry, which IS expensive,
--You're buying your own car,
--You've lost most of your friends because they've given up on their own lives and are doing drugs.

And you say you're getting depressed. Really now? That kind of a grind is enough to make *anyone* depressed, man, woman, child or basset hound. You *Need* to find a way out from under most of that grind, you're too young to maintain that level of pressure.

So, like it or not, you're going to have to make some *hard choices*. This is going to suck in the short term, but it will keep you from going totally crazy long term. Here is what I would do, if I were in your shoes:

--Sell the car if you can get by without it. Right now you need to get an edge going on the money game, and right now, if you sell the car and *SAVE THE MONEY* you can demonstrate that you are serious about taking care of what you need to.

--Tell your parents that you're Selling Your Car and Saving the money, and that they *NEED TO* chip in some to help out with the dental expenses. I'm sorry, but making you work two jobs while your teeth hurt because of incomplete dental work is borderline abusive. Maybe if they see that you're *trying* to pay what you can on this, they will give in a little and do what they can as well.

--Get your grades up, as much as you can. Once the teeth are fixed, see if you can't give up *one* of your jobs to devote more time to your studies. Do it right though, don't just quit, give your employer the two week's notice and leave on good terms.

But yeah, you really *do* need to focus on the grades, and on *being there* in school when you're there at school. Why?

--Because you *are* going to college. It's that simple. There is a provision for this. There's a way. When you apply to go to a college, most of them will recommend you fill out a form for their Financial Aid office. On the form there will be an *option*, a choice as to whether you want to file yourself as a Dependent Student, or an Independent Student.

What that option is saying, what it's asking is: "Are you using your parent's money to go through school, or are you using nothing but your *own* money to do it?"

What you want to do is to file as an *Independent Student*, telling them that you are NOT using your parent's money to go to school. And then, on your form, list *only YOUR* income and expenses, and tell them the whole story, where possible, about having to pay for your own dentistry, having to sell your car. Yes, that counts as taking a loss.

The result should be that you will show up being *really poor* and therefore you, on your own, will be eligible for Financial Aid that you wouldn't get if you were using your Parent's money. It sounds harsh, but it's one of the things *I myself* had to do, to put myself through school. If you declare yourself an Independent Student you most likely *will* be poor enough to *get* assistance in the form of grants and student loans.

But the catch is, you have to get your grades up. Most junior or community colleges will only take you if you make at least a C average--though some of them have remedial classes and testing to help you get things going there. Most of your smaller colleges want at least a B average.

--And then....once you get the school lined up and the financial aid lined up....the idea is that *then*, once you're away from the druggie ex-friends, you'll be able to make new friends. Most people who are going to college will *respect you* for putting yourself through school, yes, even if you need some Financial Aid to do it. There's nothing wrong with this, it gets the job done. Whatever works.

--And if you go to a college that is somewhat *away* from home....you should be able to look into some counseling then, just to make sure that things are all right. Some small colleges won't cover medical expenses entirely--which is why you need to get the teeth fixed first--but the mid-sized to larger ones do have their own medical benefits system to help keep you going once you're there.

Yes.....I know it sucks to have to sell your car, and not spend one red cent of the money. But this may be the only way you can convince your folks that you *have a plan* and are willing to work and *sacrifice* to get yourself out of the grind.

I hope this helps. ^_^ Take care and do what you need to do to get out from under the grind, it's *killing you*. Hell, a grind like that would kill *anyone*.

Answer 2

I dont know how much delivering newspapers is but try to get a better job. If you live anywhere near an In-N-Out burger get a job there i i have been working there for a litter over 1 year and the starting wage is $10.00 an hour and they move you up really fast. Open a savings account and try your hardest to save your money.
I just turned 18 also and i have to do and pay for everything all by my self and its hard way hard. I know how you feel. Im sorry.

Answer 3

Are you ready to goto college? You can get student loans to pay for school and living expenses. The loan payment are not due until 6 months after graduation. It know it sucks your parents spent your college money, but your only option maybe a loan. That's what I'm doing right now.

Answer 4

Well, you've got to stay strong. I've been in your shoes before and you'll be a much strong person having "paid your own way. You can always go to a junior college. It's not a bad place to start, and you'll definitely make better friends in college. Keep you chin up, that will help you with friends too...and try to find someone you can talk to, pastor, co-worker, perhaps even a counsellor. If you cannot afford a counsellor, your local/county mental health facility will offer this service for free.

Answer 5

Talk to your guidance counselor at school. They know all the resources for financial aid for college and how to handle the friends situation. There is a great big world outside of high school with plenty of decent friends who don't use drugs.

Although it might feel like you're going nowhere right now, your counselor can help you plan your future so that you do start to go somewhere towards your goals.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You can take out student loans and apply for grants for college. Go to the colleges you are interested in and ask them for the FASFA, or you can go online and find it yourself. (you can apply online). Everyone can go to school--money isn't as much of an issue, there's always loans until you get out of school. Pick yourself up. Don't be so down. There will always be a way!

Answer 7

It can be a lot worse.I would get it together,you can do this.
Don't feel as though its never going to get better.It does but you do have to work hard to achieve something.Think of something you would like to do for a living.Your doing the right thing staying away from drugs and the so called friends like that.Thats great!Study hard don't give in to defeat,make it
happen!

Answer 8

everyone gets to hard points like this in their lives, you will struggle and nobody can say they have never struggled. If you sell your car and take the bus, maybe work more hours, study alot, you'll come out of this.
I'm not sure why your parents would spend your loans on your sister, but you have to move on and try to focus on the future.
Work hard, spend less, and youll be fine,
youll get through this :)

Answer 9

Yes, seek counseling. Make an appointment and go in and talk to someone in Behavior Health. There is help out there, for you. Remember, you are not alone, a lot of people suffer from some type of depression.

Answer 10

don't desert your friends right now. they need you to be there for them, especially because they're doing drugs. and about your grades, talk to your teachers. truly make an effort at your studies. talk to someone close to you about your problems, and talk to your orthodontist about how you can't afford for your braces. don't worry, just keep your chin up and you'll get through this. good luck :)