Would you call off your wedding if your fiance had his bachelor party at a topless club?

Question

Assume that he was just looking, no touching, and certainly no hanky-panky. Would you dump him?

This is a purely hypothetical question. My husband had my permission to go to any strip club in Las Vegas he felt like going to, but (much to his buddies' chagrin) he opted for golfing instead.

My brother's wife, on the other hand, probably would have dumped him if he had gone for an evening out to see Big Boobies. Hence, his very wise decision to go Go-Kart riding with his friends.

Answer 1

No, I've always been secure enough in our relationship that it really wouldn't bother me if my husband went to a strip club, but I'd still give him a hard time about it *wink wink*. (Oddly enough my husband has never gone to one and chose to go to a baseball game for his bachelor party!)

Answer 2

Nahh...i mean yeah its kinda sleezy but at the same time its just a place a guy can relax and have a little bit of fun. And there prob wasn't any bad behavior because clubs like that have strict no touching policies. So just tell him that it made you uncomfortable and not to make the strip club visits a habit.

Answer 3

Course not. Bloody hell, that'd be a bit of an overreaction wouldn't it?! As long as he's just looking, he can go to all the strip clubs he wants. Hell, I never pass up an opportunity to have a sneaky peek at a good looking man besides him! Just because you're in relationship doesn't mean that you can't indulge in a bit of window shopping =)

Answer 4

I disagree with Barb, saying that someone who would call off the wedding for this reason is going to have a tough marriage. I think it could be just the opposite. I bet that people who find this distasteful are more likely to value the sanctity of marriage and stay together. Hiring a stripper is not a good sign of this. The man's not even officially married yet, and he's already letting lust for another woman into his relationship. Obviously not every marriage where the man saw a stripper at a bachelor party will end in divorce, and that's not completely what I'm saying...but I speculate that in general, the degree of permissiveness about these sorts of things also predict the degrees of permissiveness and traditionalism in other areas. And the more conservative you are, the less likely you are to believe in divorce.

I agree with R.B. I wouldn't be engaged to anyone in the first place who would even consider going to a strip club. I want my future husband to share my morals and values. And no man who shares my values would be interested in that sort of thing. So no, I wouldn't have to call of the wedding for that, because I wouldn't have even entered into a courtship with him in the first place.

I've always found it both saddening and destructive that going to a strip club is often seen as an acceptable way to spend your last night as a "single" person. The premise being, "live it up on the last night you can, even if it's just looking" or something like that. But in reality, if you're engaged, you're not truly *single* anymore...you're already taken by someone who should have your eyes all to himself/herself.

I find it disturbing that on the night before his wedding, a man would be oogling some other woman's body parts. How utterly disrespectful to his future bride, and to their union! OMG, just the idea of a man consummating his marriage on his wedding night, after having seen some other woman dancing naked right in front of him only the night before!

If someone else wants a man like that, then that's their choice. But I'm going to find a man who has more respect for me and for the institution of marriage, than to behave that way. And believe it or not, there are still men out there that think this way.

Answer 5

If he was just looking, I won't be upset. The only reason he's probably there in the first place, is b/c it's the "typical" thing to do at a bachelor party.

If you it makes you feel any better. I once went to a bachelorette party. There was a male stripper there ( i didn't know ahead of time). It was more funny and outragous, then scandelous.

If you know your Fi is a respectable guy, you'll know he'll never touch a stripper. No offense to any good/honest stippers out there (like single moms or people trying to pay their tuition)

But, most strippers aren't respectable women and are probably loaded with god-knows what. I'm sure your guy is WELL aware of that and wouldn't want to touch that.

I would not consider just looking to be an harm.

Answer 6

I know a lot of people wouldn't but I would. My husband had dated 3 1/2 years before getting married but people said we already acted like married couples (except we didn't live together). To me if he had a bachelor party like that it would have been cheating. I don't mind too much if he just looks at a women but to go to a club or have strippers that is just wrong. I could never have done that to him because I love him way to much for that. I feel that if he needs to go and have that last night of fun then he probably isn't ready to seattle down yet and might end up cheating on you in the end. My husband just went out to eat and have a beer with his dad and best friend. I had the bridesmaids over and we talked for a few hours and watched movies and went to bed. I didn't want a bachlorette party that was crazy!

Answer 7

I absolutely would not call off the wedding.

Some people like to look at topless women and some could care less. As long as he was looking and not going home with one of the women, no harm done.

Answer 8

We aren't having Bucks or Hens Nights. We just don't have time for it.
I wouldn't have a problem if my man went, but only because I know him so well. I doubt he would even go to a strip joint.

Answer 9

I say as long as he's not touching & what not then why call off the wedding? Seriously he loves you & is marrying you - now if you said there was something going on (hypothetically speaking) I'd say he's not ready to settle down...

Answer 10

I already warned my fiance ( who has some wild guy friends that are still unattached) that he is not allowed to have strippers, hookers, prostitutes or anything of the sort. I think it is disrespectful to me as it would be if I did the same kind of thing to him. I don't care if he drinks and has a great time.. but I don't want his friends to pressure him into that kind of situation! My bridesmaids and I are going to spend the weekend at the coast just relaxing and hanging out together. I told him that I would not marry him if he went behind my back and against my wishes of no strip clubs, hookers, etc. wether it was his choice or not!!

P.S. He has never done anything like that since we've been together.. I just made sure all the boundaries were out there so he could never say "he didn't know" :) .. Just as he did with me!!