My step dad doesn't like the fact that my friend is gay, what can I do?

Question

I don't really care that one of my best friend's is gay, I don't pay any attention to it unless he starts talking about his boyfriend. I was telling a story at dinner tonight that involved him, and said something about him being gay. My step dad looked at me like I was insane. He gave my mom looks, and I got mad. I asked if it was a problem for him and he told me that I shouldn't be hanging out with "people like that." I got up from the table and left, I haven't been out of my room since. I'm extremely angry, as is my mom. My mom got mad because she is a huge "do whatever you want to do, just don't hurt me" kind of person. I'm so frustrated with him, he's a very old fashioned "the dog sleeps on a chain outside and eats leftovers, you can't hang out with gay people, any animal that steps foot in our backyard gets shot" kind of person, and we argue a lot about my dog sleeping in my bed an me being a vegetarian. What can I do to get him to understand I'm not changing my beliefs or friends

He always starts the arguments, saying something like "I almost killed the raccoon in the backyard today." in front of me or talking about how we spoil my dog and it should be outside, where dogs belong.

My dog is a pom/chihuahua mix that couldn't survive in the hot summers outside or raccoons in our backyard.

I'm 15. I like him a lot, he is usually a very nice person, and we usually get along very well, but sometimes we don't.

Answer 1

Tell him that you are not at all influenced by your gay friend.But you should also explain to him that it is YOUR life not his and that you are going to make choices. If your friend is a great friend, than why should you worry about whether he is gay or not. What matters is what is deep down, not whether he likes guys or girls. Just say that you are old enough (hopefully) to control your own life, and that you appreciate his opinions, but you want to go with what you believe in, and that some of those choices he may not believe in.

Answer 2

That is not right. You should try to talk to him about it tell him the way you feel and why and if that doesn't work then don't change who you are stick up for what you belive in and tell him that you aren't going to change your beliefs or friends just because he doesn't like them. You have the right to be your own person, but the sad thing is he has that same right, but he doesn't have the right to tell you how to be.

Answer 3

Unfortunately it would seem your stepfather is extremely narrow-minded and I am guessing his homophobic attitude is out fear and confusion. One of my favourite sayings is "People fail to appreciate what they do not understand" and this is so very true in our crazy, sometimes judgemental world.

I fully appreciate your frustration but you cannot control your stepfather's thoughts, behaviour, ideas, actions and reactions. Your time and energy is better spent living your life, being proud of you and your friends and realising your stepfather is the one missing out on some of the joys in life because he chooses to see through rose-coloured glasses.

It is also easier to judge others rather than stop and do some self-reflection, and again you cannot control this in him.

Answer 4

Stop talking about your gay friend when he's around, and ignore his bad sense of humor. Pretend he's a little kid that gets easily upset when certain things are mentioned and don't mention those things.

Answer 5

ok your step dad and seriously old school just stay strong with your ways he should realize that he is welcomed in your life but not your commander and i love the type of dog you have

so just stay strong and he should understand

Answer 6

its a guy thing honey...cuz my stepdad didnt like the idea of me going to a gay club (where str8 pppl go to). he thinks ima be gay just cuz i hang out with them and go there. im like hanging out with ppl dont make u gay or str8.