I got a thumbs down for not wanting to do the whole Santa thing with my children. What's the big deal?

Question

So someone just thumbs-downed me because I mentioned how we don't plan on doing the whole Santa thing with our children.
My family has also thumbs-downed me but in a verbal sense, telling me I'm "ruining their childhood" and "robbing them of memories"....
What's the big deal?
Our reasons for choosing NOT to do this are:
A.) my husband and I are from different religious backgrounds, where we both belive in the birth of Chirst, his religion just didn't recongize the celebrations. So he grew up not celebrating Christmas and I did. This is our compromise to have Christmas celebrations; we get rid of the fake factor, which is Santa.
B.) The whole Santa thing is not the reason for celebrating anyway and it's too over-commercialized. Kids care more about Santa than they do about baby Jesus.
C.) We can have just as much fun and enjoy the spirit of giving with our little family without the extra player.
So why do people criticize me on this? Someone please tell me WHY Santa is a must.

Answer 1

It has been amazing to me how much people tend to focus on Santa at the Christmas holiday rather than the true meaning of Christmas and the original Christmas story. My family has down-played Santa because we want our son to celebrate the coming of Christ more than the coming of Santa. We haven't banned Santa, however, and our son does get excited when he sees a Santa at a mall or Santa is mentioned at school. However, he understands him to be a holiday character, not a real person. I've heard some say that Santa was once real as St. Nicholas, so children are simply celebrating this historical character. However, St. Nicholas in history and the current commercialized man in the North Pole are not the same at all. Santa today is such a commercialization and a slice of American culture. Which isn't all bad, except when it gets in the way of what is more important and the true meaning of Christmas. I've also heard some people say that Santa is the source of the spirit of giving at Christmas. How can that be? Jesus is the source of Christmas. I think those who greatly emphasize Santa are those who do not have a strong Christian religious background and make the notion of Santa almost like a religion itself. I do not say this is wrong and certainly do not think that all people must be Christian at all. However, I ask people to not criticize those who do not emphasize Santa and instead emphasize the religious story behind Christmas.

Our family has been criticized by others we know personally and that hurts. My 6 year old son recently told another child in his class that there is no Santa. We've told him in the past to not say this to other kids as they might believe in Santa. But he forgot and blurted something out. I'm sure kids his age have heard this from others and he was not the first bearer of the news. However, his teacher scolded him for this - which is fine. However, she also seemed to scold me for having downplayed Santa with him in the first place and not joining in all the hype. It seems that Santa is so indocrinated in our culture everyone is afraid to broach the subject and allow for differences of opinion. Parents should know that kids begin to hear the truth about Santa by about 4-6 years old. Therefore, they need to be talking with their kids about the truth by then if they don't want their kids to be hurt by a comment made on the playground. Kids can't be sheltered forever. In the meantime, our son knew the truth long ago, so is not now confused about Christmas. All parents have to face this reality some time and should consider how to handle it by 6 years old so other kids (who don't believe) are not made to feel guilty for not believing.

Merry Christmas.

Answer 2

I'm not real sure how to answer this question, but I will tell you what I think.

Children are going to be exposed to the whole Santa thing no matter what you do. You can't go to the mall or anywhere else for that matter without running into a "Santa".

Considering the compromise you've made, maybe the best thing you could do is (learn about and explain) to your children about how St. Nick started.

Also explain the religious significance of Christmas. Knowing both stories will help your children deal with both sides of the issue.

Besides, even the "wise men" brought gifts to the baby Jesus.

Traditions always start somewhere. Helping your children understand the basis of the traditions will help them keep things straigt in their own minds.

Just curious: do you let your children participate in Halloween? or other holidays throughout the year?

Good luck

Answer 3

I guess if your reason for Christmas celebrations is the birth of Christ, then you are eliminating the presents that go along with the whole shebang? Yep. That's fine, so long as they get gifts throughout the year. The thing is, Santa is not a must, I agree. No reason why you can't tell the story of Santa just as it is - a story. Your kids are going to wonder what others are talking about and at least they will have a background in it.

People have been complaining about the over-commericalization of Christmas since my Grandmother was a girl (we are talking the 1920s). Stop telling others what your plans are and just do whatever you and hubby decided.

Answer 4

Well, my children know the real meaning of Christmas and we still do Santa. Your husband's religion didn't celebrate holidays so he doesn't know what he missed meaning it is not a big deal to him to not do Santa. You say that you grew up celebrating Christmas so do you not have happy memories of the holiday and the whole Santa thing and being so excited?

I do agree that Christmas is way over comercialized and it makes me want to throw the tv out sometimes because of all the ads. Also, it's hard to explain why Santa only gives some kids a few presents and the spoiled kids down the street get 50.

If your kids' are old enough to not believe in Santa then I don't see this as a problem but if they are younger and have had Santa in the past, it might not go over so well.

But it's whatever you and your husband want to do.

Answer 5

I say to heck with people who judge you solely on not presenting the Santa factor into this holiday. Sure it's fun for children to get a bunch of toys from " Santa" but what your trying to teach them seems to be much more valuable, its the union of one's family, singing holiday songs, telling uplifting stories with morales of joy, patience, love and strong will.

Besides sometimes people fail to forget that gifts weren't brought to baby Jesus until January 6 which is three Kings Day and I don't see people making a big hoopla over that date. Like you said its now more commercialized and people are basing it on Santa.

It won't traumatize them at all, I mean look at many other religions and races example Jewish descent some practicing Jewish, don't celebrate Christmas they have Hanukkuh are we to think that they are living with some type of trauma because they didn't celebrate this commercialized Christmas, that's crazy.

You do what you believe is right for your family like you said your family acknowledges the birth of Christ, perhaps going to mass or religous ceremony with your family all dressed up in their best clothes, going out to breakfeast or making an extra special dinner,help your children make some easy crafts that they would think Christ would have enjoyed, ask them to help you make a cake, and sing happy birthday to Christ our Lord. Isn't that what Christmas is really about?

Teach your children that you don't need to be like everyone else and your celebrating in a different way doesn't mean that they are less special it makes them unique. In the end you will still have a united family who are willing to enjoy a special day as the birth of Jesus.

May your hearts be full of love, your life be full of peace and may you always give good will to others and each other.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!

Answer 6

The Gospel says that Christ was just 6 months younger than John the Baptist (Luke 1:26, 36). And, by adding this six months to the time of John's birth (the 1st of Nisan), we come to about the 1st of Tishri or near mid-September for the birth of Christ. So again, we arrive at an early autumn birth for Christ. So Christ was not born in the winter after all!


The largest pagan religious cult which fostered the celebration of December 25 as a holiday throughout the Roman and Greek worlds was pagan sun worship - Mithraism. The chief deity in this heathen religion was the "Sun Goddess" - the Oriental goddess of the heavens, called "the queen of heaven." The season of year when this goddess received her greatest adoration from the pagan world was at the time of the winter solstice-in December. This winter festival was called "the Nativity"-the Nativity of the Sun.

So either way, both stories are untruths.

Answer 7

Because it's part of a shared American experience. It's a fun and festive tradition passed along over the decades. I think the more shared experiences my son has, the better, including PreSchool, playgrounds, toy trains, Disneyland, Mount Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa.

1. It's a tool to minimize gifts, "Santa's only bringing you one gift this year."
2. I feel more altruistic when I give anonymously, whether to a homeless shelter or to my son.
3. It's a great story to share when he's an adult. He'll have great memories before he knew and how he found out.
4. I think Christ and Santa are 1800 years apart. One's on a cross, the other drives a sleigh. The two can be separate.
5. Too commerical. No argument, you make a good point.

Of course, you are the parent and therefore have the final vote, as it should be. Let's agree to disagree.

Answer 8

Your family should celebrate these holidays any way you choose, without prejudice or judgment. However, since you are putting it out here for thousands of people to read, there will be, unfortunately, differences of opinion and you must be ready for the "remarks". We all are very different, believe in different things, and we will disagree. Let's just hope most of us can "agree to disagree" and leave it at that, and not resort to typing derogatory things.
I, personally, think you are doing the right thing, especially since you and your husband have slightly different cultural backgrounds. It's a good compromise. And you're right, it shouldn't be about Santa Claus. It's the spirit of this occasion, what it stands for.
Don't think about what other people say, or type rather. Enjoy the holidays......they will fly by so fast!!!
Cheers!

Answer 9

My children know the real meaning of Christmas and we
don't do Santa. My husbands family never did Santa when he was a child and neither did mine so that is one reason we don't do it. We just do the "Tooth Fairy", which feels a little weird because as a child I knew my money came from my parents we didn't do the "Tooth Fairy".
My name is Angel, my sister's name is Faith. I have three son's (9, 6, and 3) which we named after Prophets in the Bible. We are a Christian family and my children learn early the real reason for Christmas. I am sure my older two sons would have figured out by now that Santa can't fit down the chimney, and they would wonder why my husband and I go shopping if Santa is going to bring them presents.

Answer 10

Santa is not a must. In fact, I think your reasons are very well thought out. Christmas can be absolutely wonderful without Santa. It isn't anyone's business how you raise your kids and you are not ruining their memories. We did choose to do the Santa thing at our house but I certainly respect those who choose not to. Actually, I'm a little bit jealous, the Santa thing is more work than it's worth but too late now.