ok weve been together for over 4 years and we live together the problem is it that weve basically just turned 19 me in aug him in november. we talk about getting married openly and about our future plans and they both enclude each other. his family loves me and i love them and vice versa. i dont know why it hasnt happened yet..im hinting maybe for christmas. can anyone relate? maybe give me some pointers on how to speed things up?
2007-12-06 11:29:15 · 29 answers · asked by ♥Happily-Engaged♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we live in bc so were legal adults
2007-12-06 11:29:45 · update #1
we both have steady jobs and career wise im going to school via home and its working. i dont plan on getting married for the next few years but we could afford it right now.
2007-12-06 11:48:11 · update #2
Don't be in any hurry, especially if you're only 19. It'll happen when it's right. If you pressure a guy into popping the question, it can backfire -- I've seen it happen. It's not pretty.
It seems like the two of you have an open relationship, so if he feels the same way and wants it, too, he'll get the hint.
2007-12-06 11:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Hillary 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i think its pretty annoying how everyone on here is saying you are too young. If you love him, you live together, and you plan on getting married then whats the problem? I am 20 years old and my fiance is 23, we live together and we are fine. Just because you are 19 years old doesnt mean all you care about it drinking and partying. If you guys are ready then its fine.
I hinted like CRAZY!! Perhaps you could take him to the jewelery counter and start pointing out what you like and dont like. Try not to be too pushy, THEY HATE THAT! I learned from experience. If that doesnt work then you could have the dreaded conversation. I had to do that too...just ask if he has any reservations about getting married and how he would feel about getting engaged. Be careful to make him think it is HIS idea. That will make things move faster. Hopefully he will be gung ho as well and you can get things moving!
If it doesnt happen this christmas try not to get mad. I also had to deal with that.
Good luck!
2007-12-06 13:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by Soon to be Mrs. Welsh 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't pressure him!
All that you two will remember is that he got you a ring because you kept ragging on him!
If you know that you guys will be together, stop pressuring him...if you will be together forever, there is no rush!
I have also been with my boyfriend for four years, and we are getting married next month after he proposed in June this past summer.
Edit: Well if you are getting married in a couple years, then there is no rush to get formally engaged. It is only obvious that you want to wear a ring. Why don't you go out an buy a right hand ring to tide you over.
2007-12-06 11:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by lovesapples 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My OH and I have been together wince we were 16 - we are both now 22 and no rock for me yet either! Let me know if you are successful but keep in mind the cost of the engagement ring, engagement party, wedding, honeymoon and so on. Can you realistically afford to get married? Is there much point in rushing an engagement if you cannot get married within a few years?
Best of luck with it - if you really want to get engaged just ask him ;)!
2007-12-06 11:32:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!! Wait for as long as possible before you go down the marriage path. Why do people wanna rush into getting married? All you have after it is a piece of paper that really means nothing anymore because it's so easy to get a divorce! I'm not saying you shouldn't be together, just wait until you are both working and have some money and after a few more years, if you still want to get married, maybe then when you are older and wiser.
Good luck whatever you do.
2007-12-06 11:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by pagey 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Slow down, you're young enough that you can wait this out a few more years. He may feel that he's too young to get married just yet and doesn't want a long engagement. Meanwhile, take the time to decide if you want to marry HIM or if you just want to get married. Just make sure you're diligent with the BC, don't pop out any kids with him while he's unsure--that's all you need is to be tied to him forever and find out he doesn't want to marry you.
Give him until you're 22 or 23, with as long as you've already been together, that should give him enough time to feel he's matured and is ready for marriage. If he hasn't proposed by then and you still want to marry him, then propose yourself. If he STILL isn't ready to get married, then what he's telling you is he doesn't want to marry you.
2007-12-07 05:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't know how progressive you are...but what about you proposing to him? Lots of girls do it now. In fact, February 29 is usually the known day that 'allows' women to propose to their guys.
Of course, there's no rule, you could do it anytime. Get him a nice ring (and maybe go shopping for one for yourself with him afterwards) if you'd like.
But, if you don't want to do the proposing, then next time you go to the mall, sort of stop casually by a jeweller's and point out rings you'd like...maybe try them on on your left ring finger and tell him how much you like it there. I think he'll get the hint.
2007-12-06 11:34:42 · answer #7 · answered by Mee 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
LOL!....
They're right, you are still young... I mean very young.... 19? come on..... The earlier you being together the earlier you get bored with each other.... That's is why most couples who gets married at a young age ends up in divorce because they were young and stupid..... Dont get me wrong here ok.....
Getting married is not all about you loving him and him loving you in return; its not all about love..... A lot of things should be considered....
be practical.... Just take it slow....
2007-12-06 11:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by L 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Someday you're going to look back and wonder why you were in such a hurry, and be sorry you didn't have more fun while you had the chance.
Don't push. Let things take their course. it's a big world out there, try to experience some of it before you settle down.
2007-12-06 11:40:04 · answer #9 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ignore these ppl i think if u talk about marriage as openly as u do then u should follow thru wit it i'm 19 yrs old my fiancee is 22 i've been with him for 7 yrs and i am gettin married and i'm happy for u
2007-12-06 12:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jasmine s 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋