um whta should i do if i have a friends that self mutilates her self to releave stress becasue she said that shes afraid to cry because of whta people say about it and she wont tell anone about it ecept setrten friends and she does it becasue no one listen to her at home and she has problem at home and dose poraly in school and she cant tell her parents becasue they found out once before and all they did was cry and she said she told them that she stopped when she didnt and her mom wont let her talk to anyone about her feelings because her mom gets mad and thinks that she should be able to tell her mom everything and well i dont no what to do any ideas its gotten worse she started out with little scratches on the wrist and then now shes doing them bigger and deeper were they bleed really bad and she does it other places to and she does it across and up and down to i really wanna help i just dont no how with out getting her mad at me for telling someone.
2007-12-06 11:11:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Gain her trust and confidence.
Encourage her to disclose to an adult that she can trust - e.g. school councillor
Understand that HER behaviour is not ultimately determined by you. You can give her suggestions and help her as a friend should ... and you are right in doing so ... but if she is to CHOOSE to harm herself, this is how she chooses to express her feelings. It is a choice of HERS (not yours). If she wishes to harm or kill herself despite you talking with her there is ultimately nothing you can do.
You haven't told anyone who she is so you can be happy with your actions here.
You can see that her actions are not helping her to fix her trouble at home.
You can see that her actions are only going to have bad long term consequences - she will learn to cut and harm herself to cope with stress - she will be at risk of infections or bleeding severely - she will cause scarring to her body that will be cosmetically unpleasant.
She MIGHT learn that her self-harming behaviour is a way of manipulating people. Do not buy into this. Do not bargain. Understand that her behaviour is a result of her not knowing what to do about stuff ... so she does it because she thinks it makes her feel stuff ... or feel better ... or some such. Let her cut herself and be prepared to notify an adult or an ambulance if she overdoes it, but let her know that you love her, care for her, listen to her ... and that she should talk with someone professional about it.
2007-12-06 11:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very serious problem that your friend has. If you really care about them, you need to tell somebody. If you don't feel comfortable going to her parents on your own, maybe start with your school counselor. They can then address your friend's parents. If somebody outside of their family knows, her parents have to do something, and hopefully that will mean getting your friend the help she needs. The counselor doesn't even have to mention who it was that brought it to her attention. This way, your friend gets help, and you don't have to feel like you ratted on her.
2007-12-06 11:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by Carly K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly her friend you will sit down with her and seek answers for it yourself...ask her why she does it? What makes it feel better for her? Does she think it helps her? Does it make all the pain and problems go away? if she is able to explain in detail to you why she does it how she feels when she does it and if she thinks it is fixing anything then I think you have found your answer...those who self mutilate themselves are very mentally unstable...they need to have professional help in their lives....just think of it like this...if your the one that knows...your her friend...and you dont try to help her and end up not saying anything...what happens when it is too late and turns from self mutilation to suicide????....something to seriously think about..she needs help and you might her way out of the pain.....................
2007-12-06 11:35:42 · answer #3 · answered by macneil.chelsea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off use periods to seperate sentences.
I would tell her that you are there for her, and that as someone who is her friend, it makes you scared, etc. Tell her that she needs to talk to a professional and that cutting is dangerous... She could die. IF she wants to die then I would tell her to remember how young she is and that her life is only beginning, it might be bad, but ending is the worst thing she can do for the problems. The best is to talk to someone.
2007-12-06 11:20:17 · answer #4 · answered by hoselay37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that is beyond your control or help. You need to tell someone at your school, they can help her! She may be mad at you for telling, but in the future she will understand why it needed to be done.
I'm not kidding, this girl needs your help! She will never get better if everyone is afraid to tell.
2007-12-06 11:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds drastic, but call a suicide hotline and talk to someone there about it for advice. She's self-destructive, and the ultimate self-destructive move is suicide; and the way you describe it, she may be heading that way.
At least the hotline would be a place to start. And I'm saying for YOU to call -- for advice about her.
2007-12-06 11:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a serious problem, it isn't normal. Tell a trusted adult like a guidance counselor to address the problem with her. Just ask to remain confidential. She will find hope.
2007-12-06 11:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her about going to counselling or something
2007-12-06 11:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by ~Cremy~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋