when in a relationship should i be REQUIRED to answer to him...?

Question

for instance,
him: whats wrong?
me: i dont really wanna talk about it.
him: u should tell me everything ((in a mean voice))
me: well please respect the fact that i dont wanna talk about it.
him: well no.. u dont even love me.. if u cant answer my questions!!


who's right?

Answer 1

Woooow, You're right. He is completely in the wrong. One. you don't have to tell him anything. he should know it's a pleasure and a privilage to hear from you. Second. You have a right to your privacy. Third. He should show his love for you by RESPECTING your decisions.
You're right, he's wrong. Good luck!

Answer 2

Firstly be honest and upfront - perhaps say "I am upset but need some time to calm down so I can talk rationally - just give me some time OK".

Mean voice???? In a partnership you should always be treated with respect try being honest and just telling him that his tone seems really mean.

Please respect the fact I don't wanna talk about it - try adding a "just now" because the thing to solve any relationship problems IS communication and RESPECT - he needs to respect your space to think and calm down about the issue but you also need to respect and communicate with him about any issues between you both.

You don't love me crap... just think of a five year old throwing a tanty - now usually at this point I start yelling along the lines of how dare you I am here every damn day sharing your life and because I can't talk RIGHT now I don't love you... this may not be the best approach however.

Try saying the two are not related, you do love him but are angry/upset/hormonal etc and all you need is a little time to sort out your thoughts. If he is not committed to you enough to give you the time, maybe he needs to sort out his emotions before having a go at yours.

Then maybe give a time frame - say look just give me 15 minutes to mull over what I want to say etc etc because I don't want it to be just about anger but rather the problem and a healthy discussion - if possible.

When in a relationship should you be required? Well you identify it as a relationship so you obviously care and share you life with this person - so in order to continue to build a healthy relationship you need to communicate if he has upset you - but he also has a responsibility to behave like an adult.

To be honest I think that last parting remark was more about HIS insecurity - men are really insecure even though they pretend not to be, but unfortunately it comes out with them sounding like misogynistic arses!

And unfortunately you are both right, but need to find a middle ground because you are controlling the situation by blocking him and he is getting angry and threatened and having a tanty!

Hope this helps - as I said sometimes I can follow my advice but sometimes he give me the irritates

Answer 3

In a loving relationship couples do communicate with each other but, are not forced to do so. You just have to let him know that it doesn't mean you care for him any less but that you are still processing it yourself and that you will share when you feel ready to talk with him about it. Each and every person has a right to their own space and let him know if he can't respect your space then he isn't being respectful of you. BUT on the other hand....do you do the same to him...whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

Answer 4

You both are.

He recognised something was wrong and had the courage to ask what the problem was.

You clammed up, for whatever reason, that was the wrong response, had you responded with "I am impressed that you know something is wrong but at the moment I would prefer not to talk about, perhaps we can discuss it later" his response (wrong again) of replying in a mean voice would not have happened.

Then, instead of respecting he had recognised you had a problem, you effectively accuse him of not respecting him.

How do you think he is going to react?

Answer 5

Shorti, no one should be REQUIRED to do ANYTHING in a relationship EXCEPT RESPECT the other person. You may not IGNORE his wishes as he should not IGNORE yours, but Toe His Line? Uh, no.

If you don't wanna talk right now, DON'T TALK... WITH the understanding that at some future time HE won't want to talk either. Mutual Respect.

"...you don't even love me..." yeah, bs, bs...
Keep This up, buddy, and you just may talk me into it.

Peace, Rick

Answer 6

Neither of you.He should respect you enough to let it go, and then again he cares about you and is concerned, and hiding secrets will not enable you as a couple to work through ANYTHING.
I would let something like that go once or twice, then I would realize my g/f couldnt open up to me so I could help with whats bothering her,Id figure some other guy would be better suited for her and ump her.

Answer 7

I had this same conversation last night with my boyfriend ...
you are both right. Tell him when you are ready to talk about it that you will discuss it with him and until then, to leave you alone because he is only making the situation worse.
The thing is, you actually eventually have to tell him what is wrong. Once you do I guarantee that you will feel better. Sometimes all you need to do is get whatever is bothering you off your chest.

Answer 8

DANGER, DANGER, DANGER!!!
There's a rocky road ahead. If one is that demanding at the start of a relatiionship it can only lead to much worse down the line.
PLUS the fact that there are things you would rather not discuss with a person indicates a lack of trust and that is another DANGER signal.
Take a tip and DETOUR as fast as possible. There are lots of GOOD fish in the sea.

Answer 9

Depends on the topic at hand.

If what is wrong affects him or makes you act differently when you are around him then he has a right to know about it.

If it is a personal issue and does not affect him then you should be able to talk to him about it but are not required to.

Answer 10

In any relationship-there should be sensitivity. If you dont want to talk about something, the partner should respect that. You should never be required to answer to anyone,except God and the law.