There was a man who took great care of his body. One day whilst looking at himself in the mirror he noticed he was all tanned except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it, so he went down to the beach, stripped totally naked and buried himself in the sand except for his penis which he left sticking out.
A short while later, two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one of them was using a walking cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand she started prodding it with her cane remarking to the other old lady "There's just no justice in this world!". The other old lady asked what she meant.
Well, she replied, when I was 20 I was curious about it, when I was 30 I really enjoyed it. Then when I was 40 I asked for it and at 50 I even paid for it. When I was 60 I started praying for it and when I reached 70 I forgot all about it.
Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm to old to squat!!
2007-12-06 10:31:53 · 20 answers · asked by clara 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
OMGOSH! Dewd, that is too funny! That one practically had me rollin on the floor!
Try this one on for size:
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
LoL!
2007-12-06 10:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by There Is A Punk @ Yahoo.com 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't Be Ashamed Of Your Age lyrics Don't be ashamed of your age Don't let the years get you down That old gang you knew They still think of you As a rounder in your old home town Don't mind the grey in your hair Just think of the fun you had puttin' it there And as for that old book of time Girl, you never skipped a page So, don't be ashamed of your age Sister, don't be ashamed of your age Now, listen Ms Smith and Ms Brown Don't let the years get you down 'Cause life ain't begun until you're forty some That's when you really start to go to town Now don't wish that you were a gal Why girl, you've lost more guys Than they've ever had And once more you've graduated From that ol' stubborn stage So, don't be ashamed of your age Sister, don't be ashamed of your age there are also things which can be said about " older " ladies such as there has been many a good tune played on an older fiddle -- look at a Stradivarius. hubby added if you want some old guy to play the strings there are plenty around. he also stated he likes and prefers older women -- they won't swell they won't tell their grateful as h-ll and I'm older than 51 -- hubby still states I've not yet reached my prime because like fine wine I actually get better with age -- must be the expierence he likes..
2016-05-21 22:03:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best one I read in 3 days, 9/10 and a star
2007-12-06 13:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by gordooo2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-12-06 11:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL the thought of old lady doing that made me cringe
2007-12-06 11:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jamieson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahaha.
This could be the funniest joke I've ever seen on here. Have a star. :D
2007-12-06 10:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by SolarFlare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jings, hope I manage tae huv the same luck when I'm eighty, I plan tae be able tae squat!! huv a wee interesting star fur makin' me giggle.....
2007-12-06 10:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Angela M 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
15 out of 10!
Excellent!!!
2007-12-06 11:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a good one.
2007-12-06 10:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by tig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahahaha Good one....
2007-12-07 19:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by uk_pagan54 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋