why do people with depression/anxiety push others away?

Question

do they realize it hurts others?

also, when they get in moods where they dont like to talk, do they still want you there? (even if you arent talking)

do they feel as if they arent good enough for anyone?

and what can you do to make them feel better?

Answer 1

"why do people with depression/anxiety push others away?"
Because we don't want others to have to endure our misery

"do they realize it hurts others?"
Yes, but isolation seems better than subjecting you to our problems.

"also, when they get in moods where they dont like to talk, do they still want you there? (even if you arent talking)"
Yes, we like you around, but we don't believe there's anything you can do to help.

"do they feel as if they arent good enough for anyone?"
Pretty much, yes.

"and what can you do to make them feel better?"
Tough one. Gently coax them into therapy or get them this book: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326

Boy, you can sure tell those who are for real and those who aren't. Good questions! Some questionable answers, though.

Answer 2

Don't give up - there's help and always hope. My panic attacks didn't start until my 20s, but when I ended up in the hospital 3 times over a long weekend, and my doctor had run every test he could, I agreed to see a psychiatrist. First off, it wasn't until my fourth shrink that I found someone I really felt comfortable with, who I thought really was helping me. You may not "click" with the first person you go to. Don't let that stop you! Also, a combination of psychotropics and therapy works better than either one alone. A psychiatrist to administer and monitor medication - and you may have to try a few things. Not everything works for everybody. Finding the right psychotropic or combination may take some trial and error; again, it's worth the effort. A therapist would be more about talking and sharing in a safe place, more frequently than you would see a psychiatrist. Maybe a few times a week, maybe just once a week. Maybe for a few months, maybe for a few years. Again, make sure trust this person and feel they have your best interest at heart, not just looking to bill you for a session. I've been through this. Still go through it; it will be a bit of a lifetime battle, I think, but I've found some folks who help me through and it's a million times better than it used to be. Good luck. There are people who can and will and want to help.

Answer 3

When you're dpressed you have zero energy. If it's bad...yes you feel like "no one loves me" and worse still you might be convinced that they have good reason not to love you!!

Mostly though...it takes less energy to sit alone at home....and when you're really short on energy...that's what you'll do.

As for leaving when they don't want to talk....hard to say...but I think as long as you can stay and not bother them with chatter...maybe make their life easier in some way....run an errand etc. probably best to stay. It isn't so much different than helping a friend with a bad flu in that way.

As for hurting others...if they do realize it...it will only make them feel worse...possibly much worse.

What you can do to help?
1. Be a friend, when you get the chance..listen...don't force or preach.
2. Do what you can to gently encourage physical activity...it seems always to help. (and healthy eating can't hurt either)
3. If it happens each fall...research S.A.D and get them lights on timers
4. If it lasts more than a week or two, and seems to have no outside cause (death job loss etc.) get them to a doctor!

When someone is depressed the cure could be on the other side of the room and they wouldn't be able to go get it. The fatigue is unimagineable if you have not experienced it yourself.

Last but not least....treat the condition with respect.

Depression is never fun..and it is sometimes fatal!

If I was betting on who I'd see again ten years from now...someone with AIDS would have a better chance than someone with a serious depression.

Answer 4

im depressed myself, and have pushed almost everyone away. when you are depressed, nothing matters but the way you feel, its like a bad day or mood that is always there, every second of every day. yes they realize it hurts others, but mental illness changes your thinking process, and depressed people dont realize what theyre doing hurts other because they are in so much pain. they push people away because they feel no one understands, that they are living in a dark pit with no escape, and theyd rather be alone then try to face people. when depression takes over you its too hard to face everyday things, including people, even if they do want to help. personally, it helps when someone is there to comfort me, but not talking, just being there is enough, talking is sometime too overwhelming, give them time, when they need you, hopefully theyll let you know, just dont give up on them because it seems like your not helping, its the last thing a depressed person needs. depressed people need support more than anything else. a common thought for depressed people is that they are worthless, its a symptom of the disease, which is why if you make them feel important and that your there for them, they will feel better.

Answer 5

well from my point of view i have to say we need to be left alone when we feel depression coming on or if we are stuck in a place where we feel it is to overwhelming that is where the anxiety starts it is not that we want to push people away it sometimes helps ,and we know it hurts other people but when we feel like this we don't want them to suffer with the problem and we know that there is some people that will lea sen but at the same time you don't know what we are going through and sometimes your words hurt us so we feel that if we shut our mouths and not talk to any one we don't put the burden on your shoulders,,the only way to help is be there when the person needs you and see a doctor fast before it get worse,,

Answer 6

I am being treated for depression for 7 yrs yes sometimes you don't feel good enough, or you don't want people around, Yes you push peopls away cause either you're afraid of getting close or they're afraid you won't understand. There is a web site you can go to it's called "depressions real . com". It should be able to help you understand more.

Answer 7

i have a generalized anxiety disorder thing. and i do get the moods where i don't wanna talk and want to be left alone. and i don't think it hurts other all that much. i mean it might put a little stress on thembecause i'm on edge a lot but for the most part i control it on my own without help. the people around me know when to leave me alone or not its just the way they are

be patient with whoever it is. you'll get to know things like this.

Answer 8

Most of the time we realize that we are pushing people away but we CAN'T STOP OURSELVES.

Yes we do tend to feel like we are not good enough for love or friendship.

It just feels good to have another person in the room.

And lastly whatever you do don't EVER say "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" or "Just think happy thoughts and the bad ones will go away"

Answer 9

the "pushing away", not talking etc, are symptoms of the depression. They don't realize the hurt because they are so focussed on their own hurt, If they don't want to talk just let them know that you are there when they get ready. don't push yourself on them, and don't just hang around...unless it's serious in which case I would recommend they get help.They feel like they are worthless and worse off than either a lot of people or a lot of other people they know personally. Be supportive, loving and concerned.

Answer 10

They're hurting and don't know how to express themselves so they choose to be alone to try and deal with it. Sometimes just respecting their privacy is enough and sometimes giving them that extra push helps a lot. You can usually tell by their reaction what they really want to do.