My son who is 6,has ADHD, was caught having a flipping the bird battle with another boy who is in his same grade. Both were caught during lunchtime & spent the remainder of lunch & recess in detention. He has detention for the next two school days.
He had one incident in the school year similar to this but we didn't give him a punishment because he truly didn't know that was a bad gesture. Thats not something we do at home nor has he seen it on any kid channels hes allowed to watch so he really didn't know. That time he did it because another kid was doing it.
We explained what it meant and how it was like saying a bad word which he doesn't say either.
We are supposed to have a pre christmas with grandparents, aunts,uncles because we are going out of town for the actual holiday. If everyone preaches santa brings gifts to all the good little boys/girls won't letting him open presents send mixed signals.
Personally we don't think he should be able to? Your thoughts?
2007-12-06 10:08:59 · 11 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
JUST TO CLARIFY SOMETHING:
I never said my child was bad. He made a bad choice which is what we stress your not bad but you need to think about your choices better. My son goes to a therapist so we know what the label " BAD " is not encouraging to a child it makes them think that its all they are worth. As for Santa my child has such an innocence to him that we don't need to worry about him not believing for a few years. I appreciate all your replies. Did I imply he was bad no I am implying he has made a bad choice. With ADHD he is very impulsive he acts out then he reacts to his actions & consequences. Christmas is more than toys its spending time with family, its honoring the birth of of christ our lord, showing love.
I don't reward bad choices on any other day so isn't Christmas the same? He doesn't have many behavior issues but in order for us to help him control his impulses shouldn't he have a big effect. I hardly doubt it will scar him for life thats just going too far.
2007-12-06 10:46:28 · update #1
From experience, let him open gifts. It leads to major problems if not. But play a little joke on him. take all of the gifts away Christmas morning so that it looks like Santa never came and then write him a letter from Santa saying why he didn't get any gifts and by the end of the day if he did x number of good deeds, then he would find his gifts the next morning. Through the next year, all you would have to say is "Santa wont bring you anything next time" and you are set. My mother did this on my sister and it was pure genius. I do not now how she came up with this but it worked so well. As for the adhd, keep working on it with him. It will take time but I can tell you are a devoted parent and it will all work out.
2007-12-06 10:17:05 · answer #1 · answered by yourbigsis 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, I absolutely would NOT take Christmas away, like you said, he isn't a bad kid, he just made a bad choice. Santa doesn't bring toys to naughty kids, I'm pretty sure he's allowed to bring toys to good kids who aren't always perfect. Instead, I would sit him down, talk to him about why is was wrong to do what he did, and then be done with it. Try to intentionally "catch" him doing good things, and give him plenty of attention for it. This will teach him that good behavior gets a positive reaction. All to often parents catch their children doing things wrong and punish them for it, but then forget to notice when they do things right. That teaches them that the only way to get attention is to be bad, after all, even negative attention is better than non at all.
ADHD is tricky, I have it myself, and sometimes it's hard to tell if their actions are somehow a result of the ADHD or are regular old bad behavior. As far as the spanking that a couple of other posters have mentioned, I wouldn't take that route personally. I'm opposed to corporal punishment and think it often does more harm than good. It can in some cases teach violence, and the thing is, once you cross that line of striking a kid (and that includes spanking) it is too easy to fall into a bad pattern.
Honestly? This just seems like a case of an otherwise good kid who made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes occasionally, even parents, and even good kids. Just talk to him about it once and set a good example for him and you should be fine.
2007-12-06 19:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by HeartSIN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way I would punish a child from Christmas. Plus, I think that you need to stop preaching about "Santa" as next year he probably won't even believe in Santa anyway! He's getting rather old and that scare tactic about not brining gifts won't last forever. Like others said, good kids do bad things, he was just being a kid and has ADHD on top of that. Cut him some slack and celebrate Christmas as usual. He had a few issues over a whole year, that really isn't a big deal.
2007-12-06 18:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Ren 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't believe in "bad" children. Labelling a child as "bad" can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like someone else said, good kids misbehave. I think not letting Santa bring him something is over-punishing.
2007-12-06 18:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by LaraSue 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, so a six-year-old boy had a "bird" fight with another boy and the teacher punishes, right?
It's over. Why are you trying to pile on punishment? What's next, are you gonna have the teacher punish him because he didn't brush his teeth before bed?
While he's enjoying his little-boy Christmas, please consider some parental education classes.
2007-12-06 19:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he has already been punished .. taken the joy of opening his present with the family will make him feel like a outsider.. after all he is only 6.. if you feel the need to punish him take away his favorite toy.. or favorite movie..
2007-12-06 18:19:43 · answer #6 · answered by vis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
christmas is family time to feel loved. you still want him to feel like part of it. mabety christmas is not the time for a punishment but definatly some sort of other punishment.
2007-12-06 18:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by jessica l 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kids do that kind of thing.As long as they weren't fighting let it go, if it gets to be a problem spank his butt and ground him from everything for a week.
2007-12-06 18:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he brings them mittens with their gifts....
mom & dad will work out an appropriate discipline way before x-mas. . . and withhold somethng else like tv, candy. . . immediately after the situation happens. . . not weeks later.
2007-12-06 20:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Kelly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take Christmas away!!
If you feel the need to punish him, and you should have already(!), punish him. Spank him or ground him or take away something physical.
2007-12-06 18:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by ICARRESS 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋