3 yr old tantrums?

Question

My son is 3 1/2 and he is BAD!
If my son wants something and you say "no" he flips out and screams and crys. He can continue for 30-60 min at one time. Its so hard to keep my patience. it really stresses me out. I have tried time out, spanking and everything. there is no reasoning with him. He does not seem ADHD or anything, just the average 3 yr old from what I hear but with a 14 month old and me being 5 wks pregnant I just want him to listen and when I say no he needs to understand NO WAY NO HOW is he going to get his way.

He also has not taken naps since he was like 2 and anotherthing that REALLY irritates me is that he will repeat himself over and over until you have to scream at him (ie "I dont want to" over and over until I have to say " OK! whatever") then he will shut up. I just dont get it. i can try to be so sweet to him but that doesnt help. I compliment him when he does good. doesnt help AT ALL! HELP!!

I DO walk away and leave him in the other room. EVERTIME!

AND I worked in daycare for 5 years so I know how to "calm" a child. With the kids at daycare it worked, with min HELL NO! Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING.

Answer 1

Put him in his room until he can behave as you want him to. You have to ignore his tantrums as long as he is safe.

Answer 2

Tantrums are normal part of child development.

Things that help are!!

1. stay calm, if he senses you are frustrated and/or you are losing patience (which is a completely normal feeling) than he will as well....think of it as fuel for their fire.

2. I do a 1-2-3 your out type system. If by 2 he does not change the behavior I calmly say... on 3 you will have to go to your room for 2 Min's (1 min for each year of age).
Then pick him up there kicking and all
....close the door if need be ....your son will test you to see if you will do this, expect testing! After a few times in the room consistently...He'll start shaping up!

But in the end he need to know who is in charge and in control


Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.
Useful information to understand and how to deal with other similar situations

Answer 3

You need to ignore the tantrum, leave the room as long as he is not hurting himself or property. Give as little attention to the tantrum, or it will continue. Also, it is very normal for him to repeat himself, mine does it too. It sounds like you could use a mommy group, why not check for some in your area.

Time outs work GREAT at this age, but, but, but, it sounds like a cry for attention too, maybe have some time (I know, what time?) even if it's just 10 minutes, to do something special together at the end of the day).

Answer 4

First and foremost, he is NOT bad. His tantrums are bad, but when you label him as bad you are setting both of you up for trouble.

I agree with the others that you have to make sure he is safe, then ignore his behavior.

However, his world was rocked pretty good when you had the second child and now you are pregnant again. You need to do a lot to reassure him that he is still special to you and that there is enough of you to go around.

In order for ignoring his tantrums to work, you have to be sure that his basic need for positive attention is being met. He is only 3. He needs a lot of time with you -just him and you. He is not old enough to share mommy all the time.

Answer 5

momma_me - he is a typical three year old who wants to assert himself. If you get a chance please read The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp or rent the DVD by the same name. It will make your life a lot smoother and save your sanity.

Most of us parents were raised by parents who punished us or spanked us when we got angry so we just continue to do that. My mother and grandmother suggested I throw a cup of cold water in my daughter's face when she had a really bad tantrum.

When small children get angry they don't have the capacity to really channel their emotions. When your son is having a tantrum he needs to be CALMED. if he will allow it (some kids can be very difficult) then just gently stroke him on the back while you talk to him calmly. If you are calm he will calm down. If that doesn't work, get him a punching bag. When he starts to get upset (before it turns into a tantrum) send him to the bag and have him hit the bag until he feels better. Also, let him know hitting you, your 14 month old or the new baby when it arrives is not allowed.

The tantrums will stop when he learns how to handle his anger.

Answer 6

ok first of all, no children are "bad", just some of them have bad behavior. and you should really try understanding instead of patience.. if you always rely on patience, its always going tto run out. I have taken some child development classes and every single teacher has said that time outs at that age is useless and can even be harmful to their sense of self and self esteem.Spanking will not help ANYTHING. i think that when he starts to throw a fit then just go up to him and hug him really tightly and leave him there, if he continues- let him. the hug is all they need and all they should get from you if theyre having such bad behavior. otherwise you can just try to figure out why he is so upset, and see what needs to be done instead of reasoning.reasoning just creates a manipulator i think. good luck, hope this helps. also if you have time read this book, its really helpful for kids of all ages: "Your childs growing mind" third edition by Jane M. Healy

Answer 7

He's not 'bad' - he's 3.

When you have to say 'no' to something, find a nicer way to say it and/or distract him from what he wants. For instance, if he's asking for something in the store, say something like "Not today. I'm looking for cereal, can you be my helper and look for cereal with me?", then quickly head for the cereal aisle. If he flips out anyway, stay calm and ignore him.

Children this age do incessantly repeat themselves until they get a response - negative or positive. When he says something to you, respond to him the first time.

Here's some good information on positive ways to discipline:

http://askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Answer 8

My son only had one tantrum and I cured him of it over night. I walked out of the room and left him on the floor crying, then completely ignored him. Without an audience, they don't do it. It's as simple as that.

Answer 9

My 3 toddlers extremely merely acted up if some thing grow to be incorrect and not merely with the aid of fact they had to be undesirable. in lots of cases it grow to be that they have got been drained so i might ought to bypass away and take my teenagers domicile for a snooze. i might attempt to hearken to what they have been dissatisfied approximately and address it. you ought to take the youngster aside for a splash trip till they calmed down adequate to tell you what grow to be frightening them and sit down with them yet no longer seek advice from them till they calmed down. solid success!