the person i see has recenty discussed his partying hard ways and he admitted in a very flip manner that he is doing cocaine. my eyes bugged. he was so flip and this IS NOT him. he is usually very straight laced. but i had suspected for a bit, weight loss, wide eyed, strange chats, weird sleep habits. he slept all day sat and sunday and once went to work at 8 after getting home at 7. we don't live together but he told me this. i don't do the club thing with him all the time, very rarely. i keep my nose clean so to speak but he is always around for me. What should i do? i am upset at his cocaine use. he says he has it under control but i think it is going to bite him on the *** one morning and he won't know what happened. What shoudl I Say? Should I leave it, him? I am upset confused.
2007-12-06 08:30:39 · 46 answers · asked by agent 99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all. I didn't expect such a big response. The worst is I care for him, the best is I have always kept my nose clean so I don't get the lifestyle. I think strangely that is why he has me in his life. I can't pick a best answer. They were all helpful. I won't give an ultimatum. I will just hold my head up, offer my support and leave. As Mary J says, NO more drama. Thank you all.
2007-12-06 09:01:47 · update #1
let him know that you care for him. try to understand why he is doing it and explain to him that you will have to leave him b/c you seeee that he is becoming a slave to it. if you don't use cocaine and are against it then there is no reason that you should maintain a relationship with a crack feind. hopefully he'll stop but since you can't force him you can simply talk to him. If you TRULY are concerned then you would get his family involved to help him battle it if you don't want to stick around and help him do so(ou do not have to stick around b/c he is an adult).
2007-12-06 08:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're not strongly attached, get out, now. Cocaine habits are not controllable--and it sounds like he's already slipped off into the danger area.
If you are strongly attached, well I'm sorry. I think the best thing to do would still be to leave him, and make it clear you're not going to be around him unless he's kicked the habit.
Have you thought about this? COCAINE IS ILLEGAL.
And I don't want to hear any stupid moralism from the drug-using public--it's not a question of whether it SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be legal--it isn't. Possession is a felony, and you can go to jail for a long time.
What happens if he's driving you home and you get pulled over? What if he's got a stash you don't even know about? And it's hidden in your car? Or your apartment? You wanna know who's going to jail? That would be YOU.
Get rid of this class-A loser-user, and find a real guy.
2007-12-06 08:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do at this point is probably tell them that you can't be with them if they are going to choose to live like that. Don't give the ultimatum "me or the drugs" because then you will likely become another person they have to manipulate and lie to in order to preserve their current way of life. Just offer your support but let them know it will be from afar at the moment. When people are doing drugs like that they usually continue to do so until they start to lose too much and hit a bottom. If you stay, you choose to enable, and if you choose to leave, you have probably done the best thing you can for both of you based on the present situation. Good luck!
2007-12-06 08:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by Gentle One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is doing cocaine then that alone means he doesn't have it under control. And it biting him in the *** one morning is the least he should worry about, the fact that he actually is alive in the morning to have it bite him in the *** is a blessing. That stuff can kill you at any time, one morning he won't wake up at all, then what will you do? Take care of this problem now and either help him get over his addiction or leave him.
2007-12-06 08:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by mruniverse169 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him your fears. Some people can do it recreationaly and keep it under control, and some people end up in rehab. If he's losing weight, it's not just an every now and then thing. You have to do it A LOT and almost daily to lose noticeable weight. Ultimately this is a decision he will have to make on his own. Talk to him, let him know you will be there for him, but you don't know if you can continue a relationship with him.
2007-12-06 08:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by roxxygrrl13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one doing cocaine has it under control.
take it away from them and see how controled they are.
you will do either of the two...
1-try and help him successfully or unscessfully.
2-give up on him.
you'll tell yourself it's not fair to you (which it isn't in a way).
that you deserve to be happy.
that's how it will all play out.
one of those two.
suggest a rehab center.
if he doesn't want to go, break up with him.
you'll probably feel guilty because you'll feel like you're abandoning him.
but his drug problem won't just be his if you continue to stay with him.
it will be a problem for you too.
and that's not fair.
because you really DO deserve to be happy
tell him either he goes into rehab and quits or he looses you.
if he goes into rehab, support him and stand by him completley.
if he doesn't and he'd rather have drugs over you, it shows how much he cares about you in the first place.
I really hope this helps!
2007-12-06 08:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want to adapt to his lifestyle, this is a relationship that is over. He has made a choice of a synthetic high and a person on drugs who says he has the habit under control does not.....he wants to fool you, since then you will be the enabler ("She says I have everything under control, so a little more partying isn't hurting anything."); you do not want to be around when he crashes and burns...let his new buddies deal with that drama.
2007-12-06 08:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is not some thing to take gently. Cocaine use can merely carry approximately greater cocaine use and the rest inclusive of advancing to crack. you ought to insist she choose for scientific care. tell her to bypass to an Narcotics Annonymous assembly. Insist she bypass to a pair of them just to fulfill human beings in restoration. you ought to get to an Narcanon assembly too. you ought to be around different who've companion and teenagers in the comparable venture and study what steps you could take to handle it or help her. it somewhat is a ailment and a extreme one. cope with it as such.
2016-10-10 10:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its possible to have control over cocaine use. Some people get addicted and then get over it. They know when too much is too much. Some use it every now and then with out getting addicted again. If it really bothers you then you should let him know and tell him you dont want to be with someone who uses drugs. Otherwise, if it isnt affecting his life too much, then he isnt going to stop.
2007-12-06 08:36:19 · answer #9 · answered by solelone 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you on drugs your damn self? One you should have more respect for yourself than that and two why would you put up with it? Lay his sh*t out for him and I mean lay it all out. Tell him he needs to wuit he wanna stay with you. And if he does I wouldn't trust his a-ss as far as I could throw him and make him take one of those drug test you get from Wal Mart or somewhere. Girl you outta your hot damn mind to put up with something like that. Love him or not gotta have respect for yourself if you want other people to respect cha. If he wants to quit he will if he doesnt he's not going to. If he really wants to stop and means it and you trust he will try to stop help him but dont let him fool you. Love is blind
2007-12-06 08:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋