My boyfriend wants have sex and we will both be 18 when summer comes. However, my family is Catholic and I was taught to wait till marriage but after being with him my thoughts have started to changed. My parents had me out of wedlock. I don't want to have sex and then regret that I did but I don't want to choose not to have sex and then regret because I didn't do it. I don't know what to think. He claims to love me and that having sex will only make us closer, is he right? Someone please help me!
2007-12-06 08:29:29 · 19 answers · asked by raidergurl2008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't have sex un til you are comfortable with the idea and want to do it. If you have any thought in your mind that you might not want to do it with this guy then you are not ready. If you do it before you are ready you will not enjoy it and regret that you did it.
If he loves you and you tell him that you don't think you are ready yet he should understand and wait for you. If he gets angry with you for not wanting to have sex when you have said you aren't ready he wants sex more than a relationship with you.
If you are not on birth control yet invest in some now. It will give you the chance to get used to whatever you choose. Starting on birth control takes some time to find the right one for each person with minimal side effects. This way when and if you do decide to have sex you will be covered better from the risk of falling pregnant which will ease your mind about that. Condoms can always break but if you are on birth control yourself troubles will be less.
Until you can stop asking yourself this question you are not ready and can afford to wait a while.
Take care
2007-12-06 08:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to say it's a GREAT thing to be able to keep your virginity until marriage..! It takes a lot of will power and saves you for that one special someone.
That being said, there's also nothing wrong with premarital sex. However, in your situation, I would say don't have sex. If you say he only claims to love you, it sounds like you're not sure (and maybe he isn't either). If you're not sure, even in the tiniest, DON'T. You will more than likely regret it. However, you probably won't regret NOT having sex... I would think it'd make you proud... to know that you kept your morals in the face of pressure.
As much as I don't like to trivialize, guys want sex. They will say a lot to get sex. It doesn't necessarily bring people closer. I know a couple who were driven apart by sex because their needs were so different. Also, there are OTHER WAYS to get closer. You don't have to have sex and he should respect that. If he doesn't, you probably don't wanna be banging him anyway. Who wants to have sex with someone who doesn't respect you?
2007-12-06 16:36:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he's not right, sex complicates even the best relationships, especially if you aren't ready, and you aren't! Stick to your beliefs, if at some time you are ready.. then you can reevaluate your position, but your indecision says a lot! Sex is great...when everything is where it should be, but it's not something you can take back, some day you may wish you'd saved this once in a lifetime gift for someone special. If your bf can't respect the fact you say no.. then he's not special enough. You are more likely to regret having done it than not! If you have to ask... you're not ready.
2007-12-06 16:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by velvetca1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about this - the vast majority of people who regret their first time regret it because they did it too early, because they weren't ready yet. No one regrets waiting.
Sex might make you closer - or it might drive you apart. If your relationship is strong and mature to begin with, then sex will not alter that, for better or worse. If your relationship has problems, sex will not fix them. You can always wait - but you can't undo something once you've done it. If he's right for you, then he'll be willing to wait until you're ready.
Don't worry about what your parents did, what your church tells you, or what your boyfriend wants. Look deep into your own soul and ask yourself what is right for YOU.
2007-12-06 16:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex will not make you closer....if I were you I would wait until it was right in my heart...and trust me you know when the time is right..it may be before you are married but don't just do it because he wants to have sex. You will regret it if you just give in.
2007-12-06 16:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have to ask this question, you already know the answer. You know that you want to wait, you know that it is important to you to wait until marriage. If your boyfriend can't wait or won't wait then he is not the one for you. Statistics show that children that were born out of wedlock have a higher rate of having children themselves out of wedlock. Why not try to break that cycle? Not to mention, the STD's that you need to take into consideration when having sex with somebody. Remember that it only takes one time to get pregnant, only one time to get HIV, only one time to get chlamydia, warts, herpes, goneria and so many others. Wait until you are married. Wait until you have lived your life and are ready to bring another life into the world.
2007-12-06 16:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jay's Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wont make u any closer because sex last for a while. its temporary. if u have been taught not to have sex till ur married its for a reason. God knows you may end up pregnant and the guy may leave you after wards then u r the one who loses. if he really loves u then he should not have a problem with not having sex if u tell him
2007-12-06 16:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by miss curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to it hun. Don't do something you will regret. What if something happens and you too break up? When a guy finds true love, he wants to be the first person to have sex with her. Just wait it out. If he doesn't agree or keeps telling you to have sex with him then dump him, because he isn't worth it.
2007-12-06 16:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by lttlbt1442 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be smart and wait, you will be happy you waited till marriage because if you dont you will/ can regret it and you will feel more happier if you wait. I didnt wait and I regret it everyday. He is wrong! dont go for that. Do what you want to do and do not let him force you to change your mind into doing it, if he gets mad if you say no then he was just using you, your smarter than this, SAY NO
2007-12-06 16:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tbella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are this confused about it, then I don't think you are ready. You will know you are ready when you have no doubt you want to share something this intimate with another person.
I would try pushing everything people are telling you (parents, boyfriend,friends) that you should do out of your head and then think about what it is you want. Then you will get your answer. Good Luck.
2007-12-06 16:36:03 · answer #10 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋