My fiance and I will be putting our tentatively-finalized guest list together (finalized enough that we will be able to determine what size room we will need for our reception) this weekend. I am curious as to who people normally allow to bring a guest, and who gets invited alone. Some people we're thinking of inviting that I envision this issue coming up for include:
- A few friends from college who know each other. Some have gf's, some don't.
- A couple professors from college. They are all married.
- My fiance's cousins. Some are married, some dating, some single. One is a young kid.
- A couple of my fiance's friends from waaaay back - they're single now, but that changes fairly often with them. BTW, 2 of these guys may end up being my fiance's groomsmen.
- My brother - he's been with his gf for 3 months.
Do we just allow everyone to bring a guest/significant other? What is the proper etiquette for this?
Thanks for the help!
2007-12-06 08:01:22 · 19 answers · asked by Galaxie Girl 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh, part of the reason I was wondering about this is that most of the friends we'll invite are guys (I only have one female friend I plan to invite), so when it comes time to have dancing, I'm gonna feel bad if all these guys don't have anyone to dance with! But we're trying to keep the wedding pretty small (around 50).
2007-12-06 08:17:50 · update #1
I think you MUST invite anyone who is married, engaged, cohabiting. You definitely should invite those BF/GFs who have been serious for a while.
If someone is in a casual relationship, and knows other people at the wedding, the "and guest" is optional. If they don't know anyone else at the wedding an "and guest" is very nice.
No "and guests" to people under 18 are necessary if their families are attending.
I'm not Emily Post or anything, but this is what we did, no complaints yet.
Don't worry about the dancing. If it's a real issue, don't play too many slow songs.
2007-12-06 08:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
How I decided who was able to bring a plus one was if they are married, you do have to put the wife or husband on the invite too. You can't invite one with out the other. For the ones that are not married but seeing each other, it depends on how long they have been seeing each other than you put and guest. For the ones that you do not think have a plus one, you don't put anything, just the person you are inviting to the wedding. For your brother, you should invite her because it is your brother and so forth. for the kids, are you having a no kids wedding? For us, children under a certain age, did not count into the head count. I hope this helped out.
2007-12-06 08:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Gabrielle c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The college friends should be seated together, no girlfriends involved unless you personally know them, or they have been serious for quite some time.
The professors need to bring their wives---it is only right.
Fiance's friends from waaaaay back can come without dates as well since they're currently single. Your brother should bring his girlfriend since he is family and she obviously knows about the wedding.
If you're not on a tight budget and have no problem swallowing the idea of paying up to $100.00 per guest of a guest that attends the wedding, then by all means invite them all! We had a smaller affair and only invited those that really meant the world to us. Girlfriends and boyfriends that were casually dating these people usually were excluded.
2007-12-06 08:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you know that a guest is married, engaged, or in a relationship you should invite his/her partner. You do not have to allow every single guest to bring a date. Your headcount will grow very quickly if you do this, and some people will feel like they need to bring dates. However, if you have a single friend who doesn't know many other people at your wedding, it would be very nice to allow that person to bring a date. This applies to people 18 and over. Unless you have lots of space and money, there's no reason to let teenagers bring dates.
2007-12-06 08:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by SE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here were my guidelines:
Married couples, engaged couples, and couples living together for a year both get invited, and both names are written on the invitation.
All others, we used these guidelines:
Under 18: no guest invited
18-35ish: Put "and guest". In my case, these are entirely our friends, so I just wrote the invitee's name on the save-the-date and I'm sending them an email to let them know that significant others are invited.
Older guests:
If someone is widowed, divorced, long-time single, etc, it's probably not appropriate to put "and guest". If you know they are dating, take it on a case-by-case basis. It might make them feel uncomfortable if they don't have a guest, and you don't want them to feel like they have to bring one.
2007-12-06 09:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who is married brings their spouse, regardless of anything else. Anyone involved in a stable long term thing brings their other half. Single people with no real romantic attachments can be invited alone or with guest. As for your brother, Id ask him if he wants the GF invited. If so, offer him that courtesy.
2007-12-06 08:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be considered rude to not invite a date for people who are married, engaged or in a long term relat. Also, if there is an individual who won know anybody else then often it is polite to invite a date for them as well. As for everybody else who is single or in a newly formed relat there is no obligation for you to invite a date for them. But in the end of the day, it is your wedding and it is you who should choose who you would liek to share your special day with.
2007-12-06 09:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the money and can afford everyone should be allowed to bring a guest if they chose not too then fine but the option is there for them. Not everyone will bring a guest and not everyone will be able to make it to the wedding so keep that in mind when you think finances.
2007-12-06 08:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by Starsky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Proper etiquette is while Inviting single guests with a date is a thoughtful gesture it is not required!
I would let the child(I assume parents will be there) bring someone if there are no other kids there age their age there!
2007-12-06 10:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by Sazzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way is to ask everyone to bring a guest. It saves making it uncomfortable for singles, It is never proper to invite a married person without the spouse.
2007-12-06 08:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by Nora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋