Is it legit or am I just extremely paranoied that a malignantly narcissistic ex-friend of mine wants 2 harm me

Question

In the past he would "jokingly" tell me how one day he could kill me and brag about how he would one day be a famous serial killer. He recently contacted me after almost 2 years of not hearing from him, and now I'm scared that I've been on his mind. He is extremely narcissistic and needs to be praised all the time. He can not take criticism and believes he is destined to be great when in fact he is a bum with nothing going for him. He has absolutely no empathy to speak of which really bothers me, and he gets very jealous. Once time goes by and I have my successful career up and going and he has no future I fear he will try to take it away from me in jealousy by killing me. the only thing giving me some comfort is that I've told numerous people that if I ever mysteriously get killed that they should report him for murder, and that will give me some peace in the afterl;ife knowing that this scumbag won't get the fame that he so desires. This bothers me all day every day.

i want to get a restrainign order but he hasn't physically hurt me and it is too late to report his "joking" comments on his future as a serial killer, and also even if it was admissible to get a restraining order i fear it would piss him off and offend his ego.

narcissistic sorry spelling correction

i feel like ym rejection of his friendship which was evident in the fact that i hadn't spoken to him in two years has fueled his ego and offended him

Answer 1

I was raised to believe and practice that, "If you can not say anything good about a person don't say anything at all!" It is dangerous to diagnose another person and if that other person has not seriously threatened you then he probably is not a threat therefor your fears may not be real. Thinking about a danger magnifies it and the only way to get over a fear is to face it.

So instead of getting a restraining order for an unwarranted fear I would contact this guy if I could and straight out tell him the memory you have of his "jokingly" threatening to murder you and ask if he has any plans along that line of thinking. Ask him in a friendly way not accusingly In short take the "bull by the horns" and get your fear of him out into the open where it can be tested..

Just because a guy is down on his luck and is not doing as well as many others doesn't necessarily make him a "scumbag" but maybe his alledged narcissism is an exaggerated compensation for not feeling adequate in view of others so called "success" You say he has "absolutely no empathy" but have you considered your negative assessment of him, as posted in your question, might be for the same reason; i.e. that you have no empathy for him?

If you are not a follower of the Christian principles of Love for and forgiveness to others consider this. The modern non religious philosophy of "enlightened self interest" teaches that to help and do good to others is the best way to maximize your own interests. So why not help this guy get his feet on the ground again if he is so much a scumbag.

Good luck in your human relations, good mental health, peace and Love!