can some miltary wives tell me the truth?

Question

What is it really like being a military wife? The recruiter is really not going to tell me the nitty gritty stuff or sometimes even the truth. What is healthcare system really like? Is it good or bad? What is the recreation and the supposed discounts like? are they actually good? What about the housing and other allowances such as travel you are going to get? Please i really want the truth before my fiance and i jump in.

Answer 1

The healthcare which is Tricare is good. There is no cost to you if you sign up for Tricare Prime, including prescriptions filled at a military clinic/hospital. We have 2 children and they were both born at MTF's without problems and I was a high risk case. I had to go to a civilian ER once because of a shoulder problem, the only thing I had to pay for was $3 for a prescription. With dental as a family it is around $28 a month, single it is around $12. It covers 2 free cleanings a year, 1 xray, discount on work done. If you are a dependent under 23 then you get $1500 for the braces, the rest you pay for yourself which isn't bad at all.

Recreation there is various ones on the base, you can use the pool, gym, rent equipment, go to the base movie theater, bowling alley, etc... There is also a ticket office (ITT) that sells tickets to local and major attractions at a discounted rate (ie Disneyland, Disneyworld, Aquariums, Zoos, et....) You can use the base Commissary (grocery store) and Exchange (Department store) if they are available. The Commissary sells groceries at cost, so it can save a lot. The excange has no sales tax which is nice and lots of things are cheaper than out in town. They sells clothes, movies, electronics, furniture, toys, etc....

Housing can vary, depending on the base you are at and what you qualify for . Normally it is 2 bedrooms if you have no or 1 child, then goes up from there. Some housing is now PPV (Privatized) in which you will see all the housing allowance (BAH) go to them (it happens if it isn't PPV you just don't see it on his pay stub - LES as it is called). This will cover the rent, most utilities, lawn care (front lawns), maintenance and other things. Some housing is townhouses or apartments, while others is individual houses . One thing I can say is that what it is now compared to what it was when we got married 12 years go is incredible. Most of the ghetto (and I am serious, housing built after WW2) housing is now gone and new housing is going up.

For travel allowances that only happens when a move is made. If it is overseas, they pay for the airfare and lodging. If it is in the lower 48, plus Alaska then they will pay for mileage & hotel along the way.

The life is what you make it, in many ways it is no different than being married to a person not in the military. Many civilian jobs require long times apart, difficult decisions, not much contact, etc... But in other ways it is unique. You need decide what you want your relationship to be and what you want to be. You can hate every place you go because you are far away from family and friends and never leave the house. Or you can see it as an adventure, learn new things, make the most of it, meet new people.

Answer 2

The recruiter can't really tell you as it would take all day to do so. Some things have to be experienced in order to really know. What the recruiter says is not "real life" anyway.

I am a guy. But I grew up as an Air Force brat and have been in the Army for 20+ years. Sure military life can be a pain sometimes but the rewards later are immense.

I know that certain bases/posts can be difficult for both parties. But you adapt and weigh the good w. the bad. Women have freinds that are all in the same boat...... better than a bunch of civilian moms playing bunko.

Medical is great and to the point. There is no longer an issue w. dealing with HMOs and such. Travel at every step is great. Housing in someplaces can be marginal but then you get to another place and it is great.

If you are the kind of couple that can adapt, look toward the future, see what you get, would appreciate traveling, raising your children in the right way..... then it is for you. It is so very hard to explain.

Ponder this as well. If you say that you won't do what he is considering it might hang out for many years.

Answer 3

My husband and I are both in the National Guard. I assume you are talking about active duty but we've had our share of experience (he's been deployed for 19 months and I've been through 2 deployments). Military healthcare and retirement benefits are some of the best you'll ever have; those of civilian jobs cannot even compare. Healthcare does have its downsides, however, as many prefer off-base providers as opposed to on-base. Sometimes people get the impression that military physicians do not care as much or provide as good care as others can; however, this is all subjective of course. I'm sure there are plenty of wonderful military doctors out there. In many cases the military covers care from civilian providers anyway.

I don't know much about base housing but BAH is area-specific and you can get a pretty nice place off-base with it.

I think the most significant characteristic about military wives is that we are strong and independent. I have been "married but single" for so long that I've almost forgotten what it's like to have a husband. You must be willing to accept long deployments, the "hurry up and wait" lifestyle, the inevitable hassles of pay and paperwork and pretty much whatever the military tells you to do. While the military values family, the military always comes first. If you just had a baby and they send your husband out for a year and half, you must be able to deal with it. If you they send you to a base out in the middle of nowhere for your next assignment, you have to go. There's a lot that you can have a say in, but not much you can control.

The military has been one of the best decisions of our lives. It's sent us around the world, paid for me to finish school, enabled us to meet super people and experience fascinating jobs. It's really what you make of it. If you decide to take the military route, keep an open mind and remember that anything can happen. You just have to go with the flow and remember that it's not the good times from we learn the most. Good luck!

Answer 4

well i am a army recruiter and i will tell you what my wife goes through and lets see if any military spouses back me up.

the healthcare system is awesome, it can be a chore sometimes getting through the paperwork end of it, especially if you need a referral. but if your kid needs braces then you pay about $850-900 for them as opposed to the $3000 in the civy world.
most times you can find good deals at the commissary, the truck load sales are always good. but if your clipping them coupons like you should you may have better luck out in the economy stores. the PX is compareable to walmart.

DONT FALL FOR THE STAR CARD!

you cant beat the recreation facilities, we rented one of those blow up "moon walk" things for my daughters b-day and spent like $75 for the weekend. i was a hero! also you can rent campers and other such things at substantially reduced prices. the units are always offering some sort of a getaway and its usually a pretty good deal.

military housing differs from post to post. where were at now is awesome, i dont even have to cut the grass. when we lived on ft bragg it was another story though, the housing "mayor" was kind of a pain, and i didnt like having to have the trash can in the authorized area and didnt appreciate being told how to hang things like christmas lights. the really good thing is that now they dont take you BAH when you move into housing, most areas allow you to keep it since they have privatized all of them and you simply allot your BAH to the contractors. the advantage is that when you move out there wont be that "lag" in gettin BAH started again.

HOWEVER, you are not a military spouse. not yet anyway, and until you are the military wont recognize you as being one.

spouses ... help me out.

Answer 5

If you live on base and have access to a commissary and exchange, you can save a ton of money. If you get stuck somewhere where there isn't a large military facility, its not as great.

Medical - I've had some problems with military medical, but overall, its great. You really can't beat the insurance. I have two disabled children and two typical children and rarely have to pay a lot for anything out of pocket. Outside of my nightmare giving birth to Baby 2 at Balboa Navy Hospital, I've had great care. You need to learn to assert yourself and not be afraid of a doctor's rank to get what you want.

Being a military wife is demanding. Your husband will have long hours, your husband will be gone a lot, you'll get mad, you'll get sad, you'll take it out on your husband sometimes.. but you'll probably see a lot of great places and make a lot of great friends.

The key to being a good military wife is being able to be self-sufficient and rely on yourself. That way everything else is a bonus.

Answer 6

Oh my Gosh, something very comparable has happened in my family contributors!! And, that mom messed around with any guy she could because it replaced right into a comedian tale to her and yet another nictch in her belt. She have been given a real enormous ask your self and at 15 she had her first lady descendant and that lady is grown-up and remains the ugliest lady I even have ever considered. It replaced into my first cousin's infant and that i could not have faith that a new child could not strengthen out of that ugliness. reliable question and humorous how i will relate to it a touch to plenty. You get a megastar for this one!!

Answer 7

it's as exciting or as painful as YOU make it.

nobody owes us a Discount, unless you are talking about the tax free shopping on base as well as the commissary, which is at cost plus a small surcharge for groceries.

Housing varies from base to base and is based on his paygrade, Bedroom entitlement and the waiting list.

Medical is free or very low cost. dental is one of the best programs out there and costs less than $35/month for a family.

the only travel allowance would be during a PCS move. not all PCS moves are Accompanied, meaning family members can go with.

That being said. It's a VERY hard life and not everyone is emotionally strong enough to handle it. you must understand that as far as the military is concerned, his priorities will lie with THEM first, and you will be a distant second at times. he will miss many special family events, and 98% of them will be out of his control.

Bottom line, it's how you deal with the stress that is militray life that will determine whether or not you will be happy as a militray spouse. I have been married 10 years and together with my Sailor for 13. wouldn;t change a thing.

Answer 8

uh...the truth...well, my excperience with the army(my husband is a tanker), has not been awesome.out of almost, 3 1/2 years of marriage he has ony been home 1. the recruiter told him, you just get lots of ***.like you go home after pt in the morning and get ***, go home at lunch time, and get more ***, the go home at evening and get more ***..well, he's been gone way too much for either of us to get any ***=).i like it when he was home though..but even then they did really stuipid things like even trhough they have nothing to do at the company they would make them sit there and stay sometimes till 7 or 8 at night, just sitting there..when theya re about to deploy. makes no sense. i really think it depends on where you get stationed, their 1st sergeant and what their compnay is like..we just have not been to lucky with the army..