16 and wants a child, but my boyfriend doesn't. PLZ ANSWER?

Question

Hi, I'm a 16 y/o female and I want to have a child. My boyfriend doesn't because he wants to become a singer and he thinks it would get in the way. Should I stay with him and help support him or should I move on. Now remember I love my bf but he says he doesn't want a child now but he never wears a condom. Should I make him start wearing one?

Ok hering some of you guys answers are making meave second thoughts. But I do have a job and I home school which means that I stay home all day.I don't have to go out to public shool. Now does that change some of your minds about the whole thing?

My bad some of the words are spelled wrong because my computer was freezing up. Hearing* and Me Have*

Answer 1

STOP! Just stop. You don't need kids. Your boyfriend is a fool. Neither of you are ready for kids. Use birth control for God's sake.

Answer 2

I was 23 years old when I had my first child. Before you decide on having a child, I think that you may wish to take a look at some things.

First of all, do you have the money to financially support this child? Your parents may or may not help you. Your boyfriend may walk out and refuse to pay child support.

What about health insurance? What happens if your child becomes sick? How will you afford to pay for prescription medications if your child needs them?

What about paying for diapers and formula? What about paying for day care when you do begin working? Day care is very expensive.

How will you deal with never having any time just for yourself?

When the child becomes old enough to go to school: how will you afford to pay for books, lunches, and after-school activities?

I was 23 when I became pregnant with my first child. And 28 when I had my last one. I had a very good job with health insurance. Yet, between the day care costs, diapers & formula, plus clothing and toys: I became in debt by simply paying the everyday bills.

I simply would not wish that on anyone else! With a two-parent family who are making a very good living and have a long-standing strong relationship with each other and both want a child: yes, a child brought into that relationship is a good thing!

However, a child needs more than just love. As much as people have thought in the past that love is enough: it isn't!! I hope you re-think your plan to get pregnant.

I love my children. However, the best gift I could have given them was IF I would have waited until I had my feet on solid ground.

Answer 3

The two of you need to have a BIG discussion about your relationship..... Having a child at 16 is no picnic and if your current bf has "dreams of stardom" and doesn't make then what? He's going to resent YOU/BABY for killing his dream. Or who knows may become famous and leave you with a baby.... Especially, if he doesn't want to be a father at this time... If he doesn't want to be a father then he should be wearing a condom... That's a no brainer.. I think you and your bf have a lot of growing up to do BEFORE you even consider bringing a child into the world... It's not cheap or is it easy... I think you should do your best to finish school, maybe go to college/tech school and then maybe think about having a child... It's GREAT that you and you bf are in love but, love isn't going to pay the bills or take care of a baby....

Good luck


If you are home schooled ALL the better the reason to NOT have a baby... You need to socialize and be out in the real world among real people... Use your time to go to college, take vacations and do all the things you won't be able to do with a baby in tow....

Answer 4

You can't be serious.
At 16, you are still a kid. You have 10-20 years to have babies, when you are educated, employed, and with a stable man who WANTS to be a daddy.
At 36, you can STILL have babies and live to tell about it.
As a young person, your job is to get an education, keep your legs shut long enough to get through HIGH SChOOL, and have enough love for yourself and your ability to contribute to the planet and responsibility to do your best--in school.
And THEN do your BEST for an innocent baby, not just get knocked up by accident with a boy who won't stay with you.
Why would you wreck his dream of being a singer, by strapping him with huge responsibility and debt just because you are bored and want a toy to dress up?
Children having babies, that is what you are suggesting.
Please don't do this. Take responsibility for your life, and USE protection.
Make him wear a condom or use BC pills. You owe your baby that much.
There is nothing wrong with WANTING A BABY-it is normal. What is wrong is bringing a baby into the world that YOU CANNOT SUPPORT and take care of by yourself. Bringing a baby into the world that would be a pain in the neck and not a joy it is meant to be.
PLEASE WAIT!

Answer 5

I had a child at 16 (not planned though) and had no idea how much my life would change. I kept my son but often think that was a mistake as some wealtheir family could have provided better for him. Get your education before you start having kids or you won't find time to. I'm 34 and only had 1 year of education beyond high school so I'm stuck in a dead-end job with very little pay and no benefits. My son is 18 today and I don't know how I'll send him (or his little brother) to college.

Answer 6

Yes you should! Even if he didn't want to be a musician I would tell you the same. 16 is much too young for a child. You've got to weigh all the factors hun. Number 1, how are either of you gonna support this baby? You can't solely rely on family or the system. Number 2 you've got to consider how you'll be able to stay in school and make it work. You have to stay in school. number 3 don't you want your first kid to have all the best things they possibly can? Don't you want to raise your child with a sound mind, knowing you can provide everything they need. I'ts not just diapers and clothes you know? You have to take account for when you child gets sick, you'll need medicine, you'll need to be able to get them to doctors visits regularly, especially when they're first born. Not to mention formula, clothes, diapers, bottles, etc. I think you're in for way more than you're bargaining for. Not to mention when you can't get that kid to stop crying and you don't know what's wrong. And at this tender age, if your boyfriends telling you he doesn't want one yet don't be selfish. take his advice because if you do wind up pregnant you don't even know if he's gonna stick around. you may end up scaring him off. Good luck hun, I hope you make the responsible decision, you and your future kid will be so greatful!

Answer 7

I don't think that your to young to have a child but i think that you haven't experienced the joys and sorrows of life. I think you should go out and enjoy being 16. Experience different relationships, I'm not saying sleep with everyone but date. Are you in school? Concentrate on that first, Next get a job become 18 and move out pay your own bills. After that travel, they're so many things to see think outside the box. Then have as many kids as you want. AND TO ANSWER THE QUESTION. If he don't want a baby with you and you are going to continue to sleep with him YES he needs to wear a condom. Or you need to stop giving it up because when you do get pregnant there is a 50% Chance he is not going to be there for you and the baby. CONDOM MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE!

Answer 8

Nicole,
HECK yes you should have him wear a condom! But not just b/c he says he doesn't want a child! You are in risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from your b/f.
You should definitly get him to wear a condom. Think about it Nicole ~ If his career takes off and he starts sleeping with groupies what kinda STD's will he be bringing back to you?
Wait till u are old enough to take care of ur baby - even if he does leave u in the future. Take it from me ~ I'm 32 years old single mom of an adorable baby girl who's deadbeat father is ..well...a deadbeat! lol And as her custodial parent (I had to go to court to fight for that ~ otherwise u have no rights in the eyes of the law) I have to make sure that she has insurance and that she is up to date with all her shots and keep track of all her appointments and it doesn't help that she was born premature. Yeah premature, meaning I gave birth when I was 6 months pregnant. I did everything that the dr told me to do/eat, so nothing negative was done on my part. We also have Physical and Occupation Therapy twice a week. You also have to provide her with clothes, diapers and baby formula (formula is roughly 15.99 - a can and lasts for maybe 3 days) on your own. If you think that after you have a child that you will always dress it in baby phat and rocawear ~ u will soon find out that buying name brand clothing is truly an option and that if you don't have a really good job ~ no name clothing works just as well as long as it matches, is in good condition and your child can wear it for a while (meaning longer than 2 months ~ they grow very, very quickly!!!).
So if you think that you will still have a life after the baby is born ..u have sadly mistaken. I used to go to clubs, concerts and stuff but I can't seriously tell u the last time i did..And don't think your friends would want to babysit for you or you can all hang out. Baby should go where ever you go. I am hardly w/o my daughter b/c u just don't know what kinda influences people will try to bring around them.
Oh BTW - I also didn't tell you that he refuses to pay child support and even thought he only sees his only daughter once ever 2 - 4 months by choice he doesn't even call to see how she's doing.
You should consider this about a man that is busy thinking about his professional career and how often he willl be available to see his child or if he would want to fork over any cash to you for a child. And truthfully that is probably what he IS thinking.
Don't fall for the ' i didn't bring one' lie. If u choose to have sex, Do NOT depend on him, make sure you are equipped yourself.
Do TELL him to wear protection, respect your body and ask him to as well. If he loves you he will respect your wishes and body too!

Answer 9

Besides all the common sense stuff like YES he should wear a condom, NO you shouldn't think of having a baby at 16, how will you support him ?what do you have to offer a baby at 16 ?he won't stay a baby forever and besides all the stuff a child needs like clothes, food, love, education,guidance *(that apparently you need as well ) etc. You need to ..Enjoy high school, go to prom ,go to college, and make something of yourself so that when you're ready you can bring a baby to this world and give him the best of yourself and most importantly have something to offer to this child. Having a child is the most wonderful experience when you're not a kid yourself!
Take Care life is not as easy as you see it!

Answer 10

GIRL!!!!! You must not have seen the discovery health channel. Do you know how pain your going to be in and how hard life will be? Sweethheart sorry to break it to ya but if the man said he's not ready dont try to force the issue because your goin to end up anlone with a baby and bills!!! Let me tell ya stay FREE while you can once that baby is here your life is over. Yea their cute but also a headache so tell ya mom you want birth control or better yet get on the shot and trust me life will be better for you. I suggest you take these warning signs from us into consideration because your gonna wish you listened... Make him wear a CONDOM!!!!!

Answer 11

YES he needs a condom, every time.... omg what is wrong with people. You wanna get herpes then pregnant and give herpes to your kid?

And you're too young to have kids , especially if you've been letting him get by without a condom this whole time. That shows severe immaturity and too much of a need to please people. Sounds like you have really low self esteem, if you're going to let some boy put his peepee in you without covering it up so you don't get a disease. Low self esteem is also why you think you want a baby. You aren't getting something out of the relationship with little singer boy, so you're craving the unconditional love that a child gives. Go talk to a counselor. A baby isnt going to give you anything but alot of lonely nights at home with your mommy taking care of the baby, while your EX boyfriend is out partying with other women.