My husband and I have been through some rough times in the past year or so, and we have been separated twice. I love him with all of my heart, and I don't want to lose him. My parents think that because of all the problems that we have been having I should leave him and live with them. When we got back together this last time they told me that I was disowned from the family and never welcome at their house ever again. I can't believe the way they are acting. What should I do????
2007-12-06 05:52:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have to let them know (maybe write them a letter) that you need to do what is right for you and your marriage, and you aren't ready to give up on it just yet. I went through a similar thing with my ex....we were off on on for years before I decided it would never work...but when I did walk away, I felt I could look my daughter in the eye and tell her without doubt I had done everything in my power to make it work. I have no regrets. You need to let them know that your family's love and support is very important to you...but you are an adult and this is how you choose to deal with your problems. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!!
2007-12-06 05:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by beaners1229 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family is exercising "tough love" and it is their right to do so. They obviously feel that your husband is abusive and no good for you. They can't keep opening their doors back up to you because it is TOO PAINFUL for them - and by closing their doors to you maybe they will help you wake up to see the light.
If you had a sister who was a prostitute who got beat up once a week - and always crashed at your place on Sunday nights - eventually you would tell her "enough is enough" and you would tell her she can't crash at your place because it is too painful for you to see her get beat up every week!
It is REALLY painful for your family to see you going back over and over again to an abuser.
In addition, by cutting you off, your family is distancing themselves from you psychologically which is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Why is this normal?? Because they know the inevitable is that you will one day be murdered - and their minds/bodies are getting themselves prepared for that day. By distancing themselves from you - it won't be such a terrible shock to their systems.
They also may be distancing themselves from you for their own safety. Many times, abusive ex's will kill not only their significant other but also the family of the significant other. Do you really want to put your family in harm's way???
2007-12-06 14:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all i do not know what your husbands problems are.
i hope everything is non-violent.
assuming it is, why not ask to speak with your parents with
your husband present and try and iron things out.
there maybe details not mentioned in this question i am
unaware of which could explain your parents views.
nonetheless make it plain you love not only your husband,
but your parents as well.
make it very plain how much you love your parents.
maybe if you, your husband, and parents all sit down
and talk things out this problem can be resolved. good luck.
2007-12-06 14:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say what the problems are. if it's abusive get out as fast as you can. if it's not abusive listen to what your parents are telling you. they may see something in your husband that you don't see. maybe he's controling or something else that they see. but, if it's just because they don't want their little girl grow up then follow your heart. but think long and hard if this is what you want or what you think you want. i wish the best of luck to you
2007-12-06 14:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by yak4the8car 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him you should keep trying, but if he's an a** about it, and his family's too, I would get a new boy friend.
2007-12-06 14:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋