Hi!
My fiancé and I are engaged to be married May 10, 2008. We have told everyone that we know about the date. After we got engaged we moved into a new home and changed jobs things which made us run into money problems so we stopped all the planning for the wedding as most places wanted a $1,000 + deposit. I don’t see us having much more money than we do now by the beginning of next year, so, should we just change the date for way further along so I can stop torturing myself with guilt for not planning the wedding? Other couples that got engaged at the same time we did have mostly everything picked out, so I feel bad when people ask me how the wedding plans are coming.
Thanks in advance!
2007-12-06 05:09:32 · 34 answers · asked by Oli 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Also, we really had our hearts set on this date...
2007-12-06 05:11:56 · update #1
Wow, thanks for all of the answers! We act like we are married now and we are as committed if not more than some married couples. We care more about the marriage than the actual wedding, but I want my grandma to be there and she is sick, so I don’t know how long we can postpone it.
2007-12-06 05:20:23 · update #2
My wedding was stressful because of finances.
The first thing Id like to say is its not exactly wise to just sit down with a calendar and pick a date and assume thats the exact date you will get married. Unless you have already booked your date with a venue then I wouldnt exactly count on it. That date may already be booked by every venue you'd be happy with.
So, since money is already tight and Ive been there done that, I would suggest waiting, until you know you can afford it. Maybe push it back until the late summer/early fall.
If it werent for my husbands father helping us out at the last minute ALOT of things wouldnt have happened, we wouldnt have been able to pay the caterer, finish paying the venue, etc etc. Planning the day is stressful enough, you dont need the added stress of if you can afford it or not.
On top of that, most places will allow you to make a deposit and then pay the rest off in payments. Maybe settle on some things you like, plan for a wedding later in the year and give yourself time to make payments on it. That would give you nearly a year to pay on it.
Either way, best of luck and congrats.
2007-12-06 05:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by obsolete_allurement 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut expenses on your wedding. Really, in the long run, ask anyone, who isn't rich and spent a ton of $$ on their wedding, and most likely 90% will tell you that they would forfeit the big shindig to have some of that cash now.
A wedding is about the couple getting married, all too often its made into this huge thing that becomes about the event and not the couple any more. Find something or somewhere that is special to the both of you, get a JP, invite only the immediate family, best man and maid of honor (or the must have folks at your wedding) and get married. Then maybe have a small reception in your home.
My next wedding should I ever marry again will be in vegas by an elvis impersonator. Or on the beach, or a quaint meadow, while the wild flowers are blooming.
2007-12-06 05:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though the wedding is important the Marriage is all that really matters.
but since you have your heart set on May 10. 08.
Scale everything down..small dinner use your back yard or a friends to host the event ...
be creative no need to over spend..you still have alot of time..
Martha Stewart.com has so many helpful hints and ideas that is sure to wow your guest...
Because really all that matter you you have found your true love and that will really be felt by all your guest...
We had a small wedding and guess what all our guest to this day ...can remember the buzz of love the felt from us...hehe..we were really so nervous...
We had lunch on the beach, we asked our guest to come bare feet...we paid Indian dancers to come in..... it was really beautiful....most people never saw a live Indian dancer so they were blown away....it was simple yet well thought out...real flowers...and with the back drop of the ocean you really could not ask for more.....So be creative, am sure you can do this girl...chin up stop sulking you have a wedding to plan...:) good Luck~Happy wedding planning ...
2007-12-06 05:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anaiyah M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Addie and congratulations!
First of all...don't feel bad. Everyone's situation is different.
Well, you have two choices:
1. Change the date until you think you will be better off financially.
2. Keep the date and "scale back" you ideas/wants.
I absolutely LOVE small weddings. If I were you, I would keep the date of May 10, 2008 and have a small wedding.
The are sooo many "pluses" to having a small wedding....not only cost wise...but stress wise as well.
Is your home big enough to host something in your backyard? Or, do you have a relatives home that would be large enough, say for 30 or 40 people?
If you have a "home" wedding and reception...you save TONS of money. Or, if you belong to a church, you can still have a church wedding....possibly a reception at the church? or in someone's home? Gardens and parks are also beautiful alternatives.
If you had a home wedding and reception, you can simply have 2 attendants (a maid of honor and best man)....a simple, but elegant gown for you ...and your groom in a suit (or a tux!).
Serve a simple meal....(as an example):
bbq chicken?
various cold salads
rolls
dessert
beer and wine
Maybe someone you know can bake? Maybe get someone to make a cake for you. OR...get a cake from a grocery store bakery....lots cheaper.
Decorate with simple potted plants that you can get from Home Depot or Lowe's....wrap them in pretty paper! Your done!
Get invitations from Michael's, Walmart, Hobby Lobby, etc. and do them yourself on the computer. $25 for a package of 50.
There are many, many ways to save on your "dream day" without exceeding the national debt!! lol
Good luck!
2007-12-06 07:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, i would have the wedding in a small church. just invite your favourite friends and family. you could also try a themed wedding. Maybe everybody could came in costume or somthing. having the perfect wedding doesn't mean that you have to have the most expensive. As far as money goes there are alot of things that you could save on. Small church, more casual dresses or fashion choices, and the real money saver a cool little, stress the little place to have your party. or, it depends on where you live, you could have the party outside. even go to a park. Have cool games and stress to people in the invtations that it is more of a not so formal wedding. if you have a themed wedding, then throw your wedding at whatever your theme is. Ex. If you have a medevil theme, then just go to a costume rent place and get a gorgous medevil dress for just the time of the wedding, then you won't have to deal with the fact that you just spent 10 million dollars on a dress that you only will wear once.
And if push comes to shove you can always get married in Vegas. lol.
Good luck and i hope that whatever you do, you have the time of your life.
2007-12-06 05:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by stacy m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 choices, if you want a big fancy wedding then put the date off, if you dont mind down sizing then go ahead for may, if you can afford the venue, most other things can be downsized, also ur family and friends will realise that uve just bought a new house and its all too much for you.
You could also get pregnant over the christmas holidays if u were thinking of children anyway and have the wedding may 2009?
2007-12-06 05:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to go into debt for a wedding even though it seems you have a lot of peer pressure. Some of the lovliest weddings are small and simple. Try calling all your friends and telling them the wedding in May is off. Period. dont say more than that. Then take a mental break. In january, reflect on what is possible financially and hopefully do a small intimate wedding that will be comfortable. Your friends will totally understand, believe me . You should feel no guilt but rather exhilaration for your honesty and integrity for not spending over your limit.
2007-12-06 05:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by barthebear 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to be practical entering into a marriage. The #1 reason people get divorced is conflict due to money problems. Do you want to start at a disadvantage? What's more important to you, the one day or what follows? I agree with the others but why not do a destination wedding? Go somewhere nice, tie the knot, make some memories and then have a party when you get back.
2007-12-06 05:18:45 · answer #8 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people will disagree with me here, but here it is.......
Do not change the date.....change the plans......
Go to a Justice of the Peace, or to the court house and have a very simple wedding. Take the money you would normally invested in a wedding (usually over $10,000 and invest it in a new home, pay off some bills or in your case you don't have to spend what you don't have. Then throw a small party at your house or in a small reception facility and invite the people who truly matter. You will save thousands and not be any less married.....marriage is not a ceremony or ring, it is a commitment ot your spouse, your god and your family.
2007-12-06 05:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by mad embalmer from the north II 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Could you scale back the wedding and keep your same date? I don't know where you live, but May is usually good for outdoor weddings. You could have your wedding at a park or even in someone's home or back yard. There's no reason you should have to give up your date or go into debt. It's possible to have a lovely small wedding.
Goodluck!
2007-12-06 05:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋