boyfriend has depression and I cant take it?

Question

my ex boyfriend has depression and anxiety disorders caused by something that happened to him as a child. we've been dating over a year and this is the second time we broke up over it. i'm VERY patitent with him and U love him so much,. I know he loves me, hes always saying hew ants to marry me and that I give him butterflies. and then all of a sudden he pushes me away and breaks up with me and no longer knows if he loves me anymore and then comes back a few weeks or a month later. but during the time he pushes me away he acts like I dont even exist for the most part. I believe its his disorders but I cant help but to think maybe I'm just a fool. when its good with us, its amazing. but when its bad, its awful. all I've been doing all week is crying. I've talked to him a few times and he begged me to just give him time and I dont want to leave him but I also dont want a breakdown...

Answer 1

I know how you fell. My currnt boyfriend also suffers from depression and anxiety. we its good its brilliant but he can change so quickly. At the end of the day you need to decide what is best for you. He will always behave this way as it is something to do with his disorder and it will never go away. if you do marry there is always the chance he will act this way on occasions then too. You need to decide if you think you can handle it indefinetly. I know its hard hun ive been there many times myself. hope this helps

Answer 2

you either love him enough to know that it wont be like this forever, and to help find new ways for him to deal with his problems, keep him positive through it all. When he doesn't talk to you write him, explain things, tell him that he can't shut you out or he is going to loose you. Time is something you should be able to give if you love him, but if he truely loved you he would be able to open up about what's going on.

suggest he see someone, maybe work out...it's a huge sanity helper, or even suggest you both read up on the subject and help him find coping mechanisms for depression and anxiety. he may also have Bi-polar and be unaware which not always, but most commonly requires medication for at least a year with long term therapy.

if he isn't dealing or trying to get better, there may be nothing you can do and it will be less heartbreak for you to leave now.

only you can decide this one, just advise.

Answer 3

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 4

I'm sorry you're going through that. In a way I know how you feel, though from the other side. I've suffered from depression since I was in high school & I know it makes things much harder on my boyfriend. For me medication has helped, maybe you can suggest your boyfriend talks to someone & looks into those kinds of options? But at the same time, if he refuses to get help for it then maybe you need to let him go & give him some space. He has to want to get better for him to be able to do it, and if he refuses it's not fair to you to bear the brunt of everything. Don't stay with him because you feel sorry for him & don't think he can handle if you leave. It won't do either of you any good in the end. Good luck!

Answer 5

hes your boyfriend? Or your ex? Is this some kind of arranged married deal? I'm so sorry...i cant even imagine how you feel since this has never happened to me. I once had a arab boyfriend whom i loved very much...and he couldnt marry me because i wasnt arab. So everyone told me that if he loved me enough he wouldnt care what his parents said. So he promised he would never marry anyone else...but he could never marry me or give me kids so i eventualy left him cause i wanted more. So if he truly loves you he wont get married. But if he does get married its cause he cant dishonor his mother. You wont understand this in the beginning but....it will take some time to move on.

Answer 6

Is there someone outside your relationship he can talk to like a councilor or a doctor? He needs medication and the counseling to sort this out, he cannot do it alone. Don't give up on him! You mean more to him than what he lets on, its his illness getting in the way. To leave him will destroy him, stand by your man Honey, you'll make it i know you will, Love sent.

-x-

Answer 7

He can't have a full relationship with anyone until he gets this all straightened out. Sounds like he not only has issues with an abusive or traumatic childhood, but could also be suffering from biochemical depression. Until he gets the help that he needs, he will not be in a good place to have a long term, committed relationship with anyone.

Answer 8

you ex sounds like he has some serious issues. Maybe he gets his kicks by watching you suffer, like some kind of sadistic jerk. it sounds almost like he's purposely hurting you. Even when my parents died i felt as if though the world had come to a grueling end, but i at least didnt take it out on the people i loved. I dont know, i dont want to say that you should just leave him because it sounds wrong. But i cant (with a good conscience) tell you to continue the relationship. I feel like its not a good idea to continue the relationship, but only you can be the judge of that.

Answer 9

If you keep this up you may end up really hating his guts. For your sake, for right now, I would be a best friend to him, talk to him, try to help him, make sure he is getting the help he needs, but leave the bf gf type relationship fro later on down the road when he is more stable. The constant up and down really hurts you deep, I am in a similar situation with the girl I am in love with, we are not dating right now, but still best friends, and it seems to help her more than the stress a relationship brings. She loves me more than ever before because of it too. It has brought me closer to her as well. You will get through this, just don't let it be hurtful to you, you get hurt, it may end it for the both of you. Good luck to you, love is really tough sometimes

Answer 10

I think for his sake what he needs now is your support. BUT that doesn't mean you need to be in a 'relationship'. Just make sure that he's getting treated. When he is better (hopefully) then you can consider being together again. Just make sure to let him know that you'll always be there for him. You have to think about yourself here too, though. You shouldn't have to go through with all of this pain.