Letting your teenager drive it's so hard!!?

Question

This is my issue I don't want my daughter to drive, she is 16, for the sole reason of liability. As much as I trust her I can't get past knowing whatever "she" does I'm responsible for. All it would take is 1 mistake while with friends and my wife and I could pay the price forever. 20 years ago I wouldn't be having this probem, but with our ultra sue happy society it's just 1 lawsuit away from financial ruin. I think of Nick Hogan's recent accident and the multi million $$ lawsuit that is soon to be filed. Locally a 16 yr old "boy" hit a guy on a bike the judgement was over 190k. Do you guys think about this or not?

Let me add a point because alot of replies seem to be "you have to let go" or "let her try" it's the risk involved that's the issue. Mistakes happen that's a fact of life that's the issue. If I could register the car in her name and somehow absolve the responsibility issue I would let her drive now.

See that's what I was talking about. Constantly being worried about her safety would be "not letting go" or "letting her grow up" that would be borderline paranoid. This is a clear black/white issue. My, my wife, my other 3 kids will be directly affected if something happens and I'm held liable that's the issue. Just like you must have a fence with a swimming pool because you are liable if anyone drowns even if a drunk guy falls in it, or owning a dog that attacks someone else the owner is liable that's why I don't own a aggressive breed of dog.

Answer 1

I agree with Decbaby, you can't live in fear of what may happen. What you fear most will happen if you put it into the air. Law of attraction is so much stronger than we know. Not to make you seem selfish or materialistic...but from reading the title I though you were going to say you were concerned for her safety. That would be more of a realistic concern of a parent. But my answer would still be the same. What is going to happen, will happen no matter how much you worry about it. So don't worry, it takes too much time and energy to worry about what "might" happen. Who knows...she might surprise you and turn out to be more responsible than you give her credit for. But you won't ever know unless given the chance.

Answer 2

Well first you look at how responsible your daughter is.. If she is a good student responsible most of the time, trustworthy, then let her drive.. First take her to drivers ed... Sears driving school is good. Then you get her her license and add her to your insurance... I know is expensive belive me, I am paying for it, but drivers ed and her having insurance is something that is worth every penny and she gets 10% discount on the insurance and other percent for good grades. I did this when my daughter turned 15 and she is now 17 almost 18 and she is a more resposable and a better driver than me. This way you can relax and trust that your daughter will be careful and make the right decisions all the time. Always talk to your daughter.

Answer 3

if you let fear run your life then you will have no life. they are all valid concerns, but at some point, you have to realize you did all you could to teach her how to drive and that shes not gonna go crazy when she is on her own. do you know how terrifying it is to first drive without your parents in the car. i was a nervous wreck. my theory is, if i get in an accident i just pray to God its not my fault. so far it hasn't been, so my insurance doesn't go up. your most likely not gonna get into some kinda law suit, stupid rich people get killed with that stuff. make sure she doesn't drive with other people in the car for a while, she must follow cerfew, and there are things that you can put on the car to monitor speed, plus that bumper sticker idea wasn't too bad.

Answer 4

Valid concerns from a parent, however, you have to let go at some point and trust your child and let them grow up. Be sure to enrol her in a good driving course so learns to drive the proper way. Also, most insurance companies will give you a reduced rate on her insurance if you show she has successfully completed a recognized driving course.

Answer 5

Yeah, I did when my daughter was that age (she's 21 now). We had a nice house paid for and cars too, if she had an accident like you're talking about, they would have taken all that awawy from us. It's a VERY scary thought. I guess you don't have much of a choice but to grin and bear it. Whatever you do, don't buy her a brand new car! Get American made, it's cheaper on insurance and get something older. Good luck, you'll need it. haha : )

Answer 6

That is why there is a time to hush and a time to do concerning laws. What is the other alternative? Telling teens they can't drive until lawmakers stop luring teens into sociopathic behavior by offering up blame-shifting? Any law that holds a parent %100 responsible for a driver who is given the right to drive by the state also is laced with the obvious motives that crush families they know it. Parents can only watch their teens to a level of normal tab keeping ...we should not be expected to be stalkers of near adults we are parents who expect our sons and daughters to follow rules. A son or daughter is expected to listen to parental rules. Which, is a whole other law practice that should be shut down after what I've seen concerning the attempt to intrude on parents and children otherwise.

Your daughter is 16 and if she's on her way to becoming a driver because laws take forever to change, I suggest you have her sign a contract which stays on the frig until they are 18. There are various contracts on the net. If she breaks that contract yank those car keys and make her ride the bus or be dropped off by mom and dad..not a sibling. If she throws a fit she's not old enough to drive. Our youngest son did not throw a fit, however, his older brother put his fist thru our window unit after his tires were flattened due to attempting to hotwire his car ...his loving bio father and others told him he was not responsible for his choses behaviors and today he remains anti-authority and has no respect for females as well. We did buy one of our sons a mid-size car based on his level of sports and clean fun ...so staying out of trouble and obviously he was in school. The discount for minor in school allowed him to pay low insurance rates and ended with the car making it to another owner - no accidents except for the time he managed to back our car into his ...not a dent to his but he paid for the plastic piece on our vehicle. He had a part-time job and so beyond insurance had gas money and extra fun money(gas is more expensive today). Paying his own insurance was his first step into a world minus the discount, of course. A ticket = higher insurance rates and points on their responsibility as a driver like any other driver which he got later and lost the convenience of student insurance while attending college. He's doing quite well today due to our parenting yes, but absolutely by him making the choice to utilize our discipline and allow self-discipline to become a habit. Yes, he was testy at times but I'd tell him "I believe in God and I'm to parent ....I'm not gettin in trouble with the Big Guy over what so and so parents are up to or something you don't understand...yet".

It was tough, but we also managed family time as well. Sweet laughs, we got a Christmas card from him and his to-be sweetheart addressed to Mom and Dad (not Mr. Mrs...).

Answer 7

I dread this day in my life. You have every reason to be worried about teenagers driving!!! I don't know how I am goign to handle it. Maybe you should send her to a private driving school more than once?

Oh and BTW, you should put a bumper sticker on the back that says "How's my driving? Call my dad (put your number here." :)

Answer 8

im 16 too and no i don't think about that i have my own mustang and all dat!! but i never thought of it that way b4 i'd say wait till shes 17 1/2!!!! let her drive when ur in da car for right now!!! like ur suppose to!! good luck!!

Answer 9

we all go through this to a point but, if you can normally trust your daughter, you'll have to bite your toungue and let her try.