Here's the deal, if you significant other was away (like a 7 hour drive) visiting her family and he/she took her son to his father's for a visit, would it be too much to ask him/her to meet in a public place ? I just think it's a boundary that shouldn't be crossed. My son's father who hasn't been in this child's life for 2 years(he's four) and my wife just happened to drop him a line and told him she would bring him up for a visit, and they were there alone for a half hour. And then when I asked her what she was into on the phone she told me she was visiting a friend(girl friend). Not until the next day did she inform me she was at Dave's. I am very hurt over this and she says it is unjustified. I feel that she should have NOT been in this guy's house alone with him. Am I wrong ?
2007-12-06 01:40:10 · 9 answers · asked by Jayson L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I talked to her about it and I think it went well. I don't really feel as if she just lied out right about it, but she just wasn't open and honest, because she was at a girl friend's also. I was married previously for 9 years and my wife had an affair so my defenses are always up. Plus if I had any knowledge of this guy other than what she tells me, MAYBE I'd be a little more understanding...maybe. This is just something I'd never do to her, so I kind of expect the same from her. We are newly married(8 months) so we're still working through tough spots.
2007-12-06 12:13:35 · update #1
I can totally understand why you would feel this way, especially because she lied, and that automatically makes one think she is hiding something. Talk to her about it, because that man does deserve to see his kid, but you are right that a public place is a better idea. If your wife has nothing to hide she will understand, and hopefully not be too hurt that you doubted her faithfullness...tell her that you trust her, just not him ;)
2007-12-06 01:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by *_* Katerrr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, she shouldn't have lied to you. However, I can understand her not wanting to get into an argument with you in front of her ex. Which no doubt would have happened. Exes have a way of using stuff against you in court especially child custody cases. Even if he doesn't seem interested in his child that doesn't mean that he won't file a child custody lawsuit. People like that use their children against the other person. They think of them as property. Secondly, you are that boys father he is just a sperm donor and you have the girl so there is absolutely nothing to be upset over. You won and he lost and you need to remember that when she takes her son for a visit with the sperm donor. There is a reason she left him and is now with you and she knows that. Trust her, have faith that she is not cheating on you.
2007-12-06 01:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by christina h 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's the kid's dad, what do you expect? If my bf and i broke up, he will still be in my life, because we have a daughter together! It will not happen, but if it happens!
That is your problem for not trusting her...
I know how you feel,...i would feel the same way, but maybe she realy wants the dad to be in the child's life so be understanding.
I would say trust is really important here!
Someone said that if she didn't have nothing to hide she wouldn't of lie...Well come on, she knew that you would take it that way, and saying you don't trust the guy? it's just an excuse. If you say you don't trust her ex it will mean that you don't trust her, cause if he makes a move, she decide if she wants to or not...so it all comes to you trusting her!
2007-12-06 01:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have other issues to worry about:
She has not seen this guy in 2 years, and you are jealous over her seeing him? Why?
Why did she feel the need to lie to you? Perhaps you need to work on trust and communication in your relationship.
Why do you think you get to tell her where she can and can't meet the father of her child? Who gave you the right to control her? This goes back to your trust issues.
2007-12-06 01:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I personally dont like that fact of them going and doing anything with the ex. Bu if I was with the person for a while and I could trust them and everything then I wouldn't worry about it at all. But I do not think you are wrong. You have your own opinion and its your choice to make it or be mad at her or anything. just trust her to be faithful to you.
2007-12-06 02:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just wondering why she would lie and say it was a girlfriend? That seems very fishy to me. Talk to her about it, find out exactly whats going on. If it was innocent, then why couldn't she just tell you in the first place? I agree with you, it is a boundry that shouldn't be crossed. She is asking for trouble!
2007-12-06 01:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea5499 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd have a problem with people like that lying to me. If they cannot be honest enough to tell the truth, I'm not wasting time on them.
2007-12-06 01:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is your wife you should not be insecure but she shouldn't have lied to you either is she wasn't doing anything wrong!
2007-12-06 01:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by Cherise M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should not have lied to U
2007-12-06 01:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by Backhoe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋