this is my first year as a maried woman, and i wanted to make everything special. we have invited all the family for christmas dinner, this includes my new mother-in-law for the first time. i wante to impress everyone(including his mom) and bought a whole new lot of tableware. what i mean by table wear, is that i have bought, a new christmas table cloth, with a runner to match, place mats to match, and napkins to match, with napkin rings.i was really pleased with these, and wanted to see how they all would look on the day, so i set most of the table up. when i asked my husband what he thought, he just replied " yes, its ok". he didnt seem too enthusiastic so i asked him what was wrong. he said that if i wanted him to be honest, he would tell me. he then said that the napkins were not very practical( not the kind of material that you could wipe your mouth on if need be!) isaid that i could also get some paper ones too if someone needed one. he said i am defeating the object.what now?
2007-12-06 01:39:51 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
i have seen loads of napkins that are just for decoration. it wouldnt bother me, if someone else had these, and said "those are just for decoration". i would just laugh!. p.s. the funds have run out too, cant buy anymore. my feelings are a bit hurt too.
2007-12-06 01:48:26 · update #1
i am so sorry folks, but i cant seem to give anyone a "best answer" as everyones answer was great. i wish i could give you all a best answer, but i cant. thank you all very much for all your advice, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all.
2007-12-06 11:55:43 · update #2
Men arnt usually a lot of help when asking thier opinion on tablewares, as its not something they usually care so much about. I can understand your wanting to have a lovely christmas trying to impress your new family, but dont do it just with bought things, have fun with the day, getting to know them, and enjoy yourself......dont put too many expectations on yourself or the decorations.....a really good time depends more on the food and the good company, I honestly cant remember decorations at all from previous christmases I have attended, but I do remember the fun had at them and the delicious meals served....Good luck and have fun
2007-12-06 01:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by jasmine d 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, I think it is GREAT that you went to all this fuss.
I also know that most guys are not into the details.
As for the napkins not being practical....believe you me, once they see you both using them, they will.....expect to hear comments like, "Oh how pretty! But won't it be hard to keep these clean?"
To which you reply,
"Oh not at all! You'd be surprised what a lil bit of Dawn can do!"
(Yes, I said Dawn...I have found that that is the best pretreatment for laundry.)
You take your new MIL by the hand, and you show her the table, and you tell her,..
"I wanted this to be special, because you all are special to me."
Also, now is when new and old family traditions are brought together.
The point is, enjoy the day.
By taking your MIL aside and fussing over her, shows her that you want and respect her opinion. You'll get along much better. As for your hubby....he doesn't understand the intricacies of entertaining, that you need and want your MIL approval,.. of your needing to make everyone feel special.
The holidays are always a wonderful chance to dress up! Not just you, but your house and table too, so have fun!
I am lucky in that I have always enjoyed a wonderful relationship w/ my MIL's.
Show them you love them, and you appreciate their help, and opinions,and that you love their child. You'll have a wonderful day filled with wonderful memories.
And if all else fails and things go horribly wrong....get it on tape. ;-)
Good luck and HAPPY HOLIDAY'S
2007-12-06 02:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tira A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay too much attention to what your husband says. You did ask for his opinion and he clearly didn't think before speaking. How critical is any of this? People should know to use the napkins and cloth are better for the environment. You could try washing them first to see if it makes them softer but it's not a must. It's a if it makes you feel better. It sounds beautiful and like you've done a great job. Do what you can and don't sweat too much about it. You are going above and beyond. If people don't appreciate it then it's their problem, not yours. Ok? Merry Christmas! Your husband is very lucky to have someone like you.
2007-12-06 01:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, do not stress over it.
You have done what millions of women have done previously. Women will apreciate the effort. Men just tend to be practical.
P.S. paper napkins come in christmas themes and there is nothing wrong with having them on the table as well. The cloth napkins will work better after they have been washed a few times.
2007-12-06 01:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by Terryc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you wipe your mouth with the napkins? Because they are cloth? People wipe their mouths with cloth napkins all of the time. Just wash them afterwards. We use fancy things on special days, that is what they are there for. I say keep everything the way it is. I think his family will be very pleased with the set-up. They'll see that you went through a lot of trouble to make them feel comfortable and care about how things are presented. What's not to like about that?
And if you're speaking of a texture issue with the napkins, even if they are a rougher texture, people could still use them.
2007-12-06 01:50:17 · answer #5 · answered by Highly Evolved 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Now, don't take this too much to heart- this is coming from a teenager- but I, of course, have never been in this sort of situation. But I think you should do what you want, maybe paper napkins would be better, but you could always use the other napkins for decoration. And at the end, ask his parents what they thought of the meal.
2007-12-06 01:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by Veronica V 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes make it look nice. But maybe get extra paper napkins as well. Don't worry too much about impressing people though
2007-12-06 01:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen you are beginning your own traditions if you want to set a fancy table than set a fancy table if they don't like the napkins let them use their sleeves! however do get a pack of paper ones also they're usually only a dollar at the dollar store don't let anyone (including hubby) rob your joy in your home and your efforts
2007-12-06 02:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by gidget 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what you think is best. Men aren't too involved with these things for a reason.
I know your nervous with impressing your husbands mom, but you do your best and it should be appreciated.
It sounds nice and let it be. Dont ask your husbands opinion too much. If he offers great, if not he really doesn't care too much about that stuff.
Dont kill yourself over it, your doing the best you can, what person could expect more.
"It will be Great"!
2007-12-06 02:18:43 · answer #9 · answered by rainydaze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may want to look into cheaper napkins, becuase too expensive of a napkin may make people not want to use them. Or you could bring in a roll of paper towels also, but as long as you don't mind doing the laundry then you should be fine using the napkins. they are made to get dirty after all.
2007-12-06 01:44:19 · answer #10 · answered by toxic2141990 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋