Is it impossible to be friends with someone you previous dated???

Question

Ok, so I have dated quite a few guys...and we say we are always going to be friends after we break up. And that never happens. So do you think that it is possible to be friends with someone who you previously dated??? And do you think it is more difficult to be friends with someone after you break up if you were friends first?

Answer 1

You can be friends, but it is very rare.

It is almost impossible to be close friends because it is just to close to the heart, especially if there were hurt feelings about breaking up...

Sometimes people never get closure from breaking up and being friends again can be to difficult. Most of the time it is easier to stay away from this person and move on with your life.

Answer 2

I don't think it's impossible. If your main focus is the friendship rather than the past then it will work out great. I stayed friends with an ex for 5 years. Had to sadly end it because either one of us kept bringing up the past. It made it very difficult and confusing to figure out what I wanted and had to sadly let go altogether. If you both want the same thing then a friendship would work out. If not, don't bother. Don't expect the friendship to be normal like all others though, coz u've shared something extra, something that other friends don't have!

Answer 3

I have wound up with a couple of good friends who are exs, and because we are exs we have been able to share and be there for each other when things have not gone too well. With both of these girls we don't see each other a lot, but when we do we pick up being close and telling whats big in our lives, how we're feeling, how our current relationships are doing.
I couldn't live with either of them but I do still love them, more in a brotherly kind of way now.
I have been married for 12 years now, to the love of my life, and for her sake I wouldn't keep up with female friends any more than occasionally. Whenever we do catch up its always out somewhere, never at their place or mine, and the wife always knows.
She doesn't really know my exs (mostly just knows who they are), but she has been ok when one rang and dropped around and stayed talking all night one weekend.
So take heart, it is possible with the right guy. Probably more likely with guys that are older (mid 20s plus). And easier if you were friends before you dated.

Answer 4

no, it is not impossible to be friends after a break up, but sometimes you need a little distance from the break up before a friendship can grow or renew. You can't just be friends when only one of you still has romantic feelings for the other.

most of the time the "oh we can still be friends" line is a gentle way of letting you down in an effort to not hurt your feelings (HA! rejection always hurts, regardless of the circumstances)

for me personally: I've never dated strangers, I've always been friends with the people I've dated before I've gone out with them, so I can't say if it's harder to renew a friendship after dating someone you were friends with first.

Answer 5

Yes I've found it impossible to be friends with someone you've dated. I've never dated someone i was friends with first although I'd like to think I could go back to being friends with them. But I've been married to the same person for 7 years so hopefully I won't have to deal with that.

Answer 6

Umm I am only still in contact with one old boyfriend. And honestly, it's only because he goes to the same school as me and I see him alllllllll the time!!!! He wants to be friends with me, but I just don't see it happening. I never got good closure, and I have a grudge against him. Even though we were friends for 3 years first, then dated for over a year, we still don't talk now.

Now, guys that I've "hooked up with" I am still friends with. In fact, I just broke it off with one guy, and we hung out last night! Everything is normal, because feelings were never involved. Feelings complicate everything.

Answer 7

Me and my boyfriend of about 3 years now have broken up and gotten back together about 3 or 4 times now. Each time we say we are going to be friends and not hate each other. When we try to hang out as friends we ALWAYS end up back together!! I think if you dont have any feeling for the other person it is possible to be friends! If there are feelings it is harder because you will be mad when he talks about another girl around you!

Answer 8

Yes it is totally possible. I would say 75% of the guys i've dated are now also my friends. My boyfriend is best friends with some of them even. I only have one really bad one that I have never spoken to again, but all the rest are at minimum very nice to each other if we run into one another, but most of them are in my group of friends. Sometimes it takes a little time, but if your friends are friends with him, you just make it work. and in due time, u never even think of them as your ex's. You go to there weddings eventually, and babysit their babies.

Answer 9

Hi
My thoughts are that if you were truly friends first and agreed in the beginning that if going beyond friends was not too last that you would still remain friends then you could remain friends. When you "break up" that is when perhaps you will find out if you were really "friends" first.
Bob

Answer 10

nothing is impossible but very improbable. I dont hang out with my old flames but still call them every once and a while or write them an e-mail. even though i do these things it is still to uncomfortable to see them in person. I also woulden't date a close friend why ruin that?