Does old-fashioned chivalry still exist in a modern world?

Question

If you are a guy, tell me how you are gentlemanly to ladies. If you are a girl, tell me if you want a guy to be chivalrous to you. Any opinion would be welcome, including why you think chivalry should no longer be displayed, or why you think some girls get mad when a guy becomes chivalrous, or what kind of etiquette do you wish guys had...etc. :P Thanks!

Answer 1

Non-feminists should be treated like ladies. Feminists want equality, so treat them like men.

Answer 2

Does Chivalry Exist Today

Answer 3

I practice chivalry all the time in the presence of a lady. The problem is there are very few ladies in existence today. Just because a person is of the female gender does not make them a lady.

The title of 'gentleman' and 'lady' denote the actions of a man and woman not the gender.

You can discern ladies and gentlemen not only through their actions but also by the manor of their speech. Profanities ARE NOT synonymous with ladies and gentlemen, i.e. 'class', 'manners', and 'etiquette'.

When a woman attired in a stunning evening gown and adorned with expensive jewels apologizes for being late because her "f'n baby sitter was late" she contradicts the image she tries to project. And is indeed no lady but simply a player. Most all men are the same way. Sad I know, but this is the direct result of the women's activist movement.

Answer 4

I agree with Pepper. I live in the South and yes chivalry still exists.

A man takes off his hat in the presence of ladies and never wears one inside. I rarely open a door. Even when I'm trying to be nice and hold the door for an elder, usually a gentleman takes the door from me.

On a date, I believe people treat you the way you let them. Guys I dated came to my door to pick me up (my dad would have shot a guy who honked in my driveway), opened my car door, and held the door at the restaurant/movie/etc. At the place, a man pays. This going dutch thing makes no sense. If I pay, we are friends hanging out on Tues and I can talk about other guys. If we are dating, he should pay. At the end of the evening, he walked me to my door. I don't care if men rise when I enter or stand to leave. If it's raining, the guy holds the umbrella (you know as you are getting in the car if you are struggling to close it you get all wet) and if he forgot the umbrella, he runs to get the car and pull it around. Around a lady, he does not belch or scratch, does not curse, and says please thank you or excuse me.

Yes I definitely appreciate when a guy is chivalrous and I definitely do not think it is dead in the south. However I do have a friend who gets furious if a guy helps her out. She feels it somehow proves that she can't open her own door. She will wait til the door closes and reopen it. She would cut off her nose to spite her face and is also SINGLE.

Answer 5

I always think manners should make life more pleasant, not more difficult. Some traditionally chivalrous things aren't very practical; for example I knew a guy who'd always insist to open the door for women even if he was behind us, rushing past rather than letting us open it and hold it for him if we happened to be ahead of him, and struggling with it when he had his hands full even if there was a woman who wasn't carrying a thing. Now if we've both got empty hands and are walking together sure it's a nice gesture but don't overdo it! Also I dislike guys holding your chair when getting seated at dinner, maybe I've just known too many clumsy guys but that's always seemed a very good way to land on my butt to me, LOL! But in a more general way I think it's nice when a guy shows courteously... just stick to what makes life more pleasant and don't get to the stiff and stilted kind of stuff from way back when.

Answer 6

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Hang in there. I think chivalrous men exist who still accept that a woman can be strong and independent and yet romantic. You sound very mature to me, that you observe and think about things. I don't think you are too old for your age, just "wiser" than most. It's not a stupid question, IMHO. I'm married to a guy who is something of an anomaly: he's a computer geek/technogeek/gamer nerd, but he's still very much a romantic at heart. He's outgoing and social, and very very kind. I do have to admit that I'm much older than you, but things haven't changed that much since I was in college, as far as the guys (and some girls) who just want to party. It's more that I think we are aware of these things, and concerned about them, rather than that things have gotten so much worse. I certainly can understand where you are coming from, but it seems to me you have it pretty much together: you KNOW what you are about. Don't let the fact that others are still immature get to you. Stick with what you feel is right, what you enjoy. There are ways to connect with others who think like you do, it is possible with some of the social networking. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being selective about who you want to associate with. Not everyone is a party person. (and in the long run you will probably be the healthiest person, mentally and emotionally and physically for making the choices you are making.) Besides there's nothing wrong with being that woman with the cats, as long as you don't become a hoarder! ;-) (My husband claims I'm on the way to being a crazy cat lady: we currently have 5 kitties, and I volunteer with a cat rescue organization.)

Answer 7

My father was "old school" and since I am borderline, "old/new school", I follow proper rules of gentlemanly manners.

I am strict upon opening doors, standing when a woman enters/leaves/introduced, hat etiquette, etc.

I have taught my sons to always help a lady (mom) with a coat, door, stepping out of a car, etc. It is a courtesy that should never go out of style nor should any woman be insulted by when it takes place. Many times, a woman is surprised by a courtesy such as these, but it is just part of my upbringing. If a woman objects (I can get my own door) then I just reply, "sorry, blame my father for bringing me up that way".

I wish more men had courtesy to help women with doors, coats, crossing street, etc.

Answer 8

I'm from the south and yes there are still gentlemen didn't marry one but am trying my hardest to raise two. My 2 yo olds doors will pull out seats for everyone stands when people leave the room, knows hows to behave at proper functions (has been to high tea)

Answer 9

My husband is very chivalrous...holds the door open for me, carries packages for me, lets me sit in the warm car while he puts the groceries in the trunk....he is the greatest!

Answer 10

Iam always polite, and respect ladies.