This holiday season brings to mind last year when my only aunt (blood relative) and her hubby (let call him Uncle Herb) arrived at the family reunion empty handed. They announced that they didn't buy gifts for the rest of the family because Uncle Herb had bought auntie a new fur coat. I was miffed because they waited until the party to mention this after everyone else had already purchased their gifts for THEM. Also that it seemed so selfish that they spent their savings on themselves. I was debating on whether to even invite them to the family party this year or just instruct everyone else on to bring gifts for them. Am I being petty and over-reactive? How would you have felt? Any suggestions on what to do about them this year? Thanks in advance.
2007-12-06 00:15:15 · 13 answers · asked by flustered_homeowner 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
the fact that you said you were upset because he didn't buy gifts for the rest of the family makes you sound more selfish the your uncle. have you forgotten what this holiday is for. its the season for Giving and Forgiving. its should never be about who buys what for whom. give from your heart. even if he dosen't buy you anything if you see something a gift he may love give him the gift and dont say I'll only give you someting if you give me something. give without recieving. you know as a christian I am taught to give in secrets so that only your father in heaven will see the great gifts you give. I don't think your uncle is selfish, he does not have the heart or money to do what you want. don't be shallow just continue to give from the heart and maybe someday your uncle will give in return but even if he never does it should be o.k because you are giving out of love not greed.
2007-12-06 00:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by dobby 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I get that you are miffed and it is well within your rights not to buy them a gift this year if you don't want to.
However gifts are never a mandatory thing and I've never seen a family reunion when gifts were exchanged anyway. As she is your only aunt, of course you should still invite her.
However this spirit of the holiday is in giving not receiving. It seems you have forgotten that, but don't try to mandate that the rest of the family not experience the joy of the holiday season as well. If they wish to give aunt and uncle a gift, they have that right. Would the situation have been different if Uncle had lost his job last year and had not gotten you anything because they could not afford it? Would it have been different if you consistently spend $50 on his gift and he spent $12 on yours. Would you be keeping score?
It is really in your best interest to let this go. This year I will be spending far more in gifts than I receive, as my sister is moving and my uncle has been in the hospital. That doesn't matter because I got gifts that I want to see their faces light up when they open their presents. In the spirit of family, you simply cannot allow one bad day to ruin an entire family's relationship. It's the time for forgiveness and if you can't bring yourself to forgive, then as I said, merely exclude Aunt and Uncle from your shopping list this year--but I feel that only you will be hurt by that action.
2007-12-06 00:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the type of relative that shows up without presents, not because I am cheap, I am poor. Someone in the family is always blessed with more money than they know what to do with and they are usually selfish. Tell your family if they want to buy for them fine, but keep the spending limit low. It should be the gift of giving not the art of receiving. They should be ashamed for showing up with a new fur coat and no presents at all for family. But its their shame. You can rise above it. Don't stoop to their level. Be the better human being.
2007-12-06 01:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by jeanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True giving is when you don't expect anything in return.
On the other hand, if you want to, you can tell everyone not to get them any gifts. I'm sure your uncle and aunt are fine with that. It would save them lots of money and hassle if they are not sucked into the gift givng tradition. You can even not invite them at all.
2007-12-06 02:54:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your whole family is being petty. Obviously it was selfish that they spent their money on themselves...but you are being just as selfish by expecting them to give you gifts just because you bought them gifts. Christmas is about giving not getting. I think your family should just not get each other gifts at all and instead donate the money you would spend on gifts to a local charity. Learn to give, not recieve....SERIOUSLY
2007-12-06 00:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by JessiCat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the ingredient that replaced into lacking from this replaced into, why does she hate Christmas? there's a clarification for her habit and, as her husband, you need to confirm what this is. perhaps she had a irritating experience or lost a chum, etc. Her habit sucked. this is a given. yet you may get to the basis of her habit by way of sorting out what thoughts have been using it. needless to say it replaced right into an excellent sufficient deal that she could no longer think of to place your appreciation for the holiday first so as this is gotta be something massive. perhaps counseling is with a view to make her open as much as you? you may ideas-set this in a non threatening way yet ensure she is conscious which you need to appreciate why she behaved this type so which you may make issues greater helpful. as quickly as you detect out what's somewhat at the back of it, you could tell her how plenty you savour while she is supportive of your excitement and are available to a compromise for next year.
2016-09-30 23:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shouldn't the joy of giving figure into this? I think they should be able to spend their money as they choose, but shouldn't have accepted gifts from others. However if you feel so strongly don't buy them a gift. That's your choice.
2007-12-06 00:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by nannajude 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does family reunion on xmas just for exchanging gifts??? I can smell from here that you're still a kid, so grow up boy & be a man!
2007-12-06 01:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by ~o0o~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their reason for not buying gifts was ridiculous and selfish. You shouldn't tell anyone else what to do, but as for your own actions, I would not buy anything for them this year. I doubt they'll comment on it, but if they do, you can say, "I'm sorry, based on last year I thought we weren't exchanging gifts anymore!"
2007-12-06 01:30:44 · answer #9 · answered by Katie G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not obligatory that gifts be exchanged, but based on the previous year, I'd have to advise NOT buying them any gifts as they've shown that they're self-centered and disrespectful of the rest of the family.....
2007-12-06 00:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋