Our 5 year old son was sexually abused by a 14 year old Foster Daughter at his Father's new wife's home, with our 4 year old daughter watching. I am fighting for Legal and Physical Custody of our children, and their Father wants overnight visits in his home every other weekend, alternating Holiday's, etc, with the "promise" that the 14 year old girl will not be present.
I feel this is unacceptable, that the "place" will be associated with the "act" and will be detrimental to our children's mental and emotional well being. Our children have both recently started Therapy at Children's Hospital.
I am taking any and every legal avenue to protect them. Does anyone have any similar experience or suggestions?
2007-12-06 00:09:09 · 9 answers · asked by Susan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to the Friend of the Court, protective services, get a lawyer, (or go to legal services to get a free lawyer, they usually aren't as good, but whatever.), find out who the court uses for therapy and use them, keep a journal of everything that happens with their father and date it. Be meticulous about it. The judge will pay more attention to a written journal than memory. Ask for supervised visitation for the father based on what you just said. Get that written down and dated. I'm out of ideas, write me if you want to talk, been there, done that.
peace
2007-12-06 00:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by Linda B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this happened to your family. I say, your family, because I'm sure you, your son, your daughter and your husband are all still in pain over this person's actions.
That being said, if something had happened to your son in your home, would you sell the house and move? Probably not. His father lives in that home and your son needs his father. I know it may seem like his father failed him. But, a lot of children are molested, even if they have very attentive parents. It's not necessarily a reflection of someone's parenting skills if their child is abused. Usually the abuser is a trusted friend or family member.
With your son being 5 years old I don't really think he will suffer too much trauma, or any, if he returns to the home. As long as this foster child is gone. It's obvious this girl doesn't need to be with a family with children and needs counseling herself-God only knows what horrors she has suffered to make her behave in such a horrible way.
2007-12-06 08:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by Highly Evolved 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not an expert on this, but I would think that since the girl is a foster child she can be removed from the home. She's the one with the problem, not dad nor his wife. I'd prefer that as opposed to keeping your son from his dad. His life is already screwed up because of your divorce, and the new mom, and now this. NOTHING should come between your son and his safety - not friends, not strangers, not even DNA.
I can see where you're coming from by associating the place with the act; but who knows, maybe it won't? I say remove the girl from the equation first (she needs help anyway), then try the visitation deal and see how it goes. Remember, you're protecting him from this girl, not his dad. You're doing what you're supposed to be doing, but try not to go overboard too soon.
2007-12-06 08:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Place charges against the 14 year old. Only allow supervised visits with their Dad. How can he allow the foster child to remain in his home after this act has been done to HIS child. Sounds like to me he is a sorry SOB.
Protect your child! That is your job.
2007-12-06 08:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by TONYA R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes the place is definately associated with the act, the same reason that we remember the place when good things happen. I think it would be a bad thing for him to go there, especially for overnight, i can only imagine how terrifying it must be for a five year old. Good luck with everything!
2007-12-06 08:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by honeybee84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you do what your doing and keep at it as long as it takes. Nothing should stop you ever. Children are more important. Yes, the place can deffinately be associated with the act.
2007-12-06 08:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by The Naturalist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lawyer can advise you best. However, it sounds like you are trying to punish your ex for what happened to your kids. You have them in therapy, why not ask the therapist this question?
2007-12-06 08:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get the kids in therapy if you haven't already.
2007-12-06 08:11:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would think that maybe they would forget about it eventually, they are still very young. at least i hope they forget, thats awful
2007-12-06 08:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by i love satan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋