i feel trapped!!and i need advise?

Question

my parents have me trapped..i have an arab father and white mother.(im almost 17).so my home life has always been a mix of cultures..which sometimes can be a very bad thing..i have been raised as an american but as time goes by and ive gotten older my father expects me to act like i am a good muslim/arab girl..this means no dating,partying,basically no life..my parents are also verbally abusive and harsh..i want to move out when i turn 18..but dont know if i could make it on my own or with my friend..my parents wont let me work so i cant save money..unless i sell my art..(im a desent painter)..i was wondering if anyone could give me any advise about what i should do

Answer 1

Can you go to college? It's a great reason to get away from your parents and get an education.

Answer 2

As soon as you are 18, get a job that pays enough for you to move out. Legally they cannot stop you from doing this. Move in with a female friend, if you can, preferably someone not known for wild partying, etc. This will help your parents get used to the idea.

I'm sure you are a decent painter, but honey, it's a very competitive market and you really have to develop and push and be very agressive in order to get somewhere in it. I suggest part-time courses in this at a recognised local college. You will need to work full-time in order to survive outside of the home.

In the meantime, keep your head down, do your homework and don't give your parents anything to gripe about. Don't attempt to hide anything from them either, that drives them nuts!

Answer 3

Parents with two different opinions of running a household. It sounds like since they are having issues with themselves a person would go to the closest person to yell out their frustration. They are some issues that they are having with each other. Now, with the no dating/partying etc. remember this is your father's culture. You understand about his opinion on marriage and not preventing you not to be in a rush to be a grownup. It maybe hard that you are growing up. You may want to pursue your art. Do the art if that is a thing you like to do. Do it! It is a gift that was given to you. Since different cultures mix so much sometimes adults do not know how to expose their children to it. Maybe try to talk with them about their behavior and how it hurts you. Maybe talk with your mother by yourself and then your father. If it does become too much to bear in the home, talk with someone you know and you can confide it. Are you close with anyone in your family? But please try to talk with your parents about how they are making you feel. I want you to pursue the painting. You sound like a great creative person and I hope your parents have a chance to see your work soon.

Answer 4

This is the reason I am against mixed marriages. Both from different background, culture and religion. And what culture and religion are the kids suppose to follow? A Muslim can only marry a Muslim. So your mum would have to convert to Islam in order to marry your dad. But guess she did not follow the path to be a true Muslim and educate her children to be agood Muslim too. That is why you are in a total mess now. I dont blame you. Its your parents are the one to be blamed. Do prepare yourself before leaving home, if that is your choice. Study well, get good grades so you can find a decent job. I hope everything turns out well for you, Insya-Allah!

Answer 5

Move across the country. Better yet, go to college on a scholarship in some country like Australia, Germany or Brazil where things will be different. Learn to drive, save money and be independent. Women are equal to men and have the right to do what they want. Do respect your father but let your beliefs and values determine your life.

Answer 6

That is a tough one Iris. At 18 you will be of age, that means you can in effect make your own decisions, sign contracts, own property outright etc. However, going against the will of your parent(s) is a difficult task. It is the culture gap that is very difficult to overcome. The first thing perhaps should be to approach your folks and try to reason without EVER getting angry. See if you can reach some sort of compromise till you have enough education, training or skills to survive on your own.

Answer 7

Set up an ebay and paypal account. Sell your paintings on ebay and the money will go right into your bank account via paypal.

Sometimes, it takes a while to get out of the house. You might have to stay alittle longer, maybe when you goto college- you can get a part-time job somewhere in the middle and just avoid going home. That's what i did for awhile. If you really trust your friend and can find a **** hole by then- go for it.

one last thing- once you leave home, be prepared never to have to go back and live there, with parents like yours- they probably going to resent you for awhile. And save up about 6mos of expenses, for emergencies.

Answer 8

well be yourself. dont let anyone change you!

1.find a guy that has money and you could move in when 18 and then get a job and save
2. ask ur mom to talk to your father about getting a job
3. sneak the boyfriend/partying and other things
4.sell your art!
5. go to garage sales and buy cheap stuff and thenm turn around and sell it on ebay
6. forget your dad someday he is gonna have to let go of u, and realize that your not a baby no more.

7. hang on til 18/or until your father lossen up

Answer 9

This is hard, I admit. But in my expirience I believe, that in order to become independant, one must require some education in a good and practical type of job, this leads one to financial freedom and anything he later needs. I know this is the long way, and might require you to stay much more and get help with college, but then going to college with help from your parents will get to going out and into the good world of not eventually starving for moeny and having to work in lesser jobs.

Answer 10

How about going to college and staying in the dorm? Then slowly weed yourself from your parents. I have been working full time since I was 16. Billions of people make it w/out parents, it all depends on how much influence you want your parents to have over you.