Was i rude to this person?

Question

Was I rude to this man/neighbour?
Question Details: Theres a man who lives in my building who i used to be friendly with, talk alot, im in my 20s and hes in his 50s..One day , i had run into him and he said "hows your mom, then he imitates her italian accent and says "oh hows the cat, its such a cute cat"...and he ran down the stairs.. My mom watched his cat for some days while he was away, I found it really rude and messed up of him..
Also he does photography as a hobby and mentioned he wants to photograph my artwork for me.. I was a little taken aback, hes in his 50s, married with kids,, then he gave me his business card and told me to email him, i told him i would, i went to his website, it was poorly done and just bad overall..kinda scared me because the photography was bad.
I didnt email him and ever since, its been 2 years,, I avoid him like the plague, even crossing the street if i see him or just simply hi, keep walking.
Today i was coming down the stairs, saw him coming in, didnt go get the door, got the mail, didnt turn my

i didnt turn my head, he walked in and he said hello, i say "hey".. that was it, keep in mind i havent seen him since this past august..

I do always see him walking around the neighborhood in my car alone at least 3 times a day.. which is weird..

So was I rude?
I kinda feel bad for not being friendly anymore but I felt offended when he made fun of my Mom and i got scared when he was saying he wants to photograph my work and to email him and stuff..

he even knocked on my door one day looking for me, i ansswered and then my older brother came to the door, the neighbour seemed taken aback.
My brother told me a 50 yr old man shouldnt be kocking on a neighbours door talking to their 23 yr old daughter

Charles you made some good points, thanks for the input

Answer 1

I dont think you were rude at all. if you ask me, the man seems a bit out of his mind! You have a choice who you wish to do business with and I wouldnt want to do business with anyone who didnt care about their own business. That would just show me they wouldnt care about me ether.

Answer 2

I disagree with those telling you that you are not polite.

The neighbor is creepy. Whether he means to be creepy or not is not the issue. He is. I agree, he should never knock on your door for any reason (unless the place is being evacuated).

If I were a 50-something male dealing with a young female, I would not overstep my boundaries. Even if I were offering help, I would not put her on the spot or be too chatty in any way. It is weird and the fact that he doesn' t know that it's not appropriate is worse.

I don't think you are rude. You can acknowledge him if you come in close contact like you did and ignore him the rest of the time. You don't owe him a thing.

I have this man that gets on the bus a stop after mine. I am 40 years old. He's about 55. Occasionally, we have spoken in a group setting on the bus (he knows one of the older women that takes the bus). Then, he took it upon himself to sit next to me a couple of times when she wasn't there as if he knew me.

I guess he is nice enough so I was polite but it's a half hour ride and I have to hold this long comversation with him. He says things to try and amuse me and then talks about his going out and having drinks, etc. I don't know if he is hitting on me but it doesn't matter. I am totally turned off. I don't even know him and I don't know why he thinks it's ok to just plant himself next to me on any given morning. It is creepy.

I started ignoring him. Keeping my bag on the seat until he goes past me. I put my iPod on. I stopped saying hello for awhile but then we were in the group setting again and were in conversation. Now, if I see him getting on, I put my bag there and fumble with my stuff, and if he makes eye contact, I give him the quick hello and look down.

I hate feeling uncomfortable but, unfortunately, I think you are going to every time you see him. Good luck.

Answer 3

Short answer: Yes you were rude to pretend you did not see him.
Was he trying to joke about your mother's cat? Being smart or just being nasty? Everyone's sense of humor is not the same as yours. If you had asked him he might have told you, appologized even.
Feeling guilty because you do not want (trust) him to take good pictures of your art work is no reason to be nasty or rude. That is why we can say things like "Thank you for the offer, but no thanks." Explainations as to why you refuse the offer are completely optional and depend on the moment. He made you feel creepy, enough said - no photos, do not blame you there in the least.
You can at least be polite!
No one should make you run out of fear! Why are you giving him that power over your life? Take a self defense course - even one at home by yourself - find out what YOU can do to fight off an attacker. He did not attack you, nor tried to harm you so what are you really afraid of? Figure out why you are being rude and terrified.

Answer 4

Yeah, kind of, the poor man probably has no idea why you avoiding him like the plague. But that is life, full of miscommunications. It sometimes seems like I get made fun of because I have a accent, when I confront people they usually tell me they love it, so I stopped taking it personally. I don't understand why you would find his bad photography skills scary. You could always tell him you found a friend that was able to do it for you. Chances are he was just trying to take you under his wing.

Answer 5

Why are you asking if you have been rude? Obviously this is a man you want to avoid and the idea of contact makes you frightened and nauseas. Does it hurt to say hello? If he pursues something further, then you can set a limit with him etc. Sounds like his social skills are left to be desired, but remember that he's married to someone that loves him and has kids that think he's great too. Doesn't mean he appeals to everyone, but, I suggest being polite without encouraging him. And, if you're wondering if you were rude, you probably were!

Answer 6

Well it was rude of him to make fun of your mom.

But just because he's giving you a business card and asking to photograph your artwork doesnt mean he's hitting on you!!!
Grow up, this man is 50+ with a wife and kids...
He was basically asking you for a job.
and not anything sexual
you are only in your 20's so i can understand why you think everybody is hitting on you when they simply try to exchange numbers with you. When you grow up you will realize these people are just trying to make a living or just trying to enjoy life by finding work to do with their hobby.

Its rude to befriend your neighbors...
One day you'll need these people for something, they can even save your life by watching over you and your house.

Answer 7

I understand you avoiding the guy- seems like an awkward situation, but you were not rude at all. You have to do what's right for you. If his photography was bad, and the website poorly done, then you made the right decision by not wasting your time with it.

Answer 8

no I think you are on the right track. I got a uncomfortable feeling just reading your message about him. to be safe I would avoid him as much as possible. If he comes around and is in your space outside or something you could still say hi back if he says hi but I would keep it brief. Go on your instincts that is always the best.

Answer 9

Naw, you did ok. He’s a fifty year old horn dog thinking he get some young meat. If I were him and your semi-hot I would totally act in the same demeanor. No worries. He’s prob fat, ugly and is coupled with a wife that has the same similarities.

So….. Can I photograph you for my art collection?? :- ) Just messing with ya.

Answer 10

I'm 45, and I personally think he should get friends his own age. I find it a little inappropriate on his side. You have made it very clear to him that you are not interested. I don't blame you for being a little creeped out. I work side by side with women in their twenties. At work we are VERY good friends, but that's where it ends. I no more wish to hang out with them on my off time, than they probably want to hang out with me. So you were not rude in my opinion, he should know better.