mine and my boyfriends ideologys totally differ from each others in the issue of joint families. well we both r from totally different kinda family. his family is totally ortodox and r kinda old fashioned. but mine is not so. i want to live seperately after marraige. i want to work and be the way i am at my home after marraige. but he wants to live with his parents . but his parents r very old fashioned. infact i suppose they will have a problem with me goin to work too! they have too many expectations. they want a totally homely daughter-in-law who does all the house old work and takes care of them and all. but i am never used to such things. and the idea of me doing such things in future makes me feel sick. i love my boy friend a lot and he loves me a lot too. but he just doesnt want to leave his parents. he even goes to the extent of saying that v may break-up if i cant adjust to this. v r not goin to married atleast for 5 yrs. but whenevr the this topic comes up i go numb.!
2007-12-05 18:26:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i just cant imagine him being with some other girl which his family chooses for him. niether can i imagine myself being with someone else. but the thought of living with his family is unthinkable.
2007-12-05 18:30:46 · update #1
can anyone suggest a way in which i can convince him rather than breaking up??
2007-12-05 18:41:50 · update #2
Ur is a issue, which could not be resolved within a day or smthing.
See as u hav alreday told, that guy cud not leave his parent bt can leave u, So first sense the level of priority he has for his parent & family. In this case u can best go, try & talk with his parents. Like first start ice-breaking with his parents. U hav a span of 5 yrs, that's huge amount of time. Be in touch with his parents..talk to them, spent time with them..whenevr u can manage..and Be sure..ppl in old age just need love & contentment...By the time they'll understand that u r a nice human being inspite, What if u r not traditional like others...But your love for them will make them adjust for u. And moreover when their son also loves u seriously. Mind my words..."Turn them in ur favor, then u will not even be in to convince ur BF. And by the time, U shud also try & adjust with their needs, Bcoz if in Old age..Parents wanna live with his son..then there is nothing wrong in it...!! HOPE U"LL GET SM HELP FROM IT...GOD BLESS...:)
2007-12-05 22:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO LUNCH IS FOR FREE.
You have pay something to get anything yaar. It is clear that he is very very stubborn in this issue. From the way u said I guess he is the only son for their parents.
He is saying that " v may break-up". After these words came out from his mouth then This clearly shows that u can't rely on him. U will definetly have problems with your future after-marriage life.
If you can't live without him then you have 5 Years time to change your attitude and prepare yourself to love his parents too.
As a last chance speak with him clearly.......Don't sit numb...then u have to be numb forever......Make him understand that you are also leaving your parents(emphasise this...) Console him to live equally nearby to both of your families. This might work if he really loves you.
If he loves your parents and ready to take care of them then in the same way you should love his parents and take care of them.
If he can take your parents along with his family and serve them you can also serve his parents.
2007-12-05 18:42:43 · answer #2 · answered by saaral_s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very Little chance u both will survive until and unless one changes to another's wish so better try to adjust u both need to adjust to each others situations
2007-12-05 18:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by pallav g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
truthfully, ya u love him, but u guys need to break up. because i heard a lot of people who divorce because they cant decide about those kinds of issues. or, you guys can make a deal. but that part seems impossible. you can work part time or something.
2007-12-05 18:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes they r right my dear how long u work tell me..after that we all go to the god......respect the parents.....u have to take care for them.....how long u live may 20.30.40.50.60.70.80 years thats it..after that think about it.......ok
2007-12-05 18:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by mohammed nawaz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with nik.
2007-12-05 18:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by sagarukin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him and join hands with me.
2007-12-05 18:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by kushi R. 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
kuch panekeliye kuch khona bhi padta hai but if u cant give up sometihgn then u will not get wat u wan t
2007-12-08 07:51:55 · answer #8 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love ke liye sab karega.....
2007-12-05 18:35:54 · answer #9 · answered by nik 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
leave him
2007-12-05 18:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋