SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
HAVE A GREAT DAY
2007-12-05 17:43:32 · 11 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I heard some of these before- still funny. Here are a few of mine:
What's the difference between a dog & a fox? .....About 8 beers.
Why is Santa's sack so big?........Because he only comes once a year!
What do peanut butter & hookers have in common?.......Both spread for bread.
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?.....A tear jerker.
Why is being in the military like a BJ?.......The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What is 6.9?.........69 ruined by a period.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?.......Because they won't stop to ask for directions.
Did you hear about the new viagra eye drops?.......They make you look hard.
Last one: Why is a man like a hurricane?........Because you never know how big they're going to be or how long they're going to last.
2007-12-06 02:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good,
but Very long ,
now i am Very tird.
good nite.
thanks for the bed time story.; )
P.S.the only thing you did not do is offend me,
Very disapointing.
hA HA hA
Or is it.
2007-12-05 18:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by LMB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cool.
2007-12-07 02:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by Gary R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it
2007-12-05 17:47:15 · answer #4 · answered by blind existence 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing to offend me....you left me out i am suing for discrimination....lmao they were funny though! crap that isnt gonna help my case any!
2007-12-05 17:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by princessandrea82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha made me laugh
2007-12-05 17:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by mufasa42 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha that was funny =]
2007-12-05 19:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by ♫ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just made my day really GREAT! Thanks for a good laugh - - - and a star for you!
2007-12-05 19:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by CJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nice
2007-12-05 18:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA nothing offended me just made me laugh my *** off!!!!!!!
2007-12-05 18:49:31 · answer #10 · answered by runescapefan32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋