Do you ever give your g/f or b/f tests to see how they will respond?

Question

Rather than finding out after you're too deep in love isn't it a good idea to test your mate like maybe having one of your friends hit on them to see if they will cheat on you? Or saying "NO" when they know you can just to see if they have an anger management problem? Well this girl is into me but I needed to know was she stronger than her flesh. I didn't want a relationship based on sex. She came over had a few drinks I seduced her but then pulled back and said I wanted our first time to be on New Year's Eve. She said she didn't want to wait. So I said well then this is lust not love. She asked was I going to hold this against her if we have sex I said no. We eventually had sex it was great but I kept wondering why she couldn't wait for a special day. In my eyes she failed this test and our relationship will be based on sex, and how do I know the next time she get all hot and bothered and I'm at work or something that she doesn't find someone to take care of her needs? Ever test gf/bf

Answer 1

I guess ultimately you don't know what she'll do if she is hot and bothered. Sadly it's part of getting to know someone, if you can trust them. I can understand your testing theory. Your obviously looking for something special, go with it. But be careful, if your too insecure... a great girl might get away.

Answer 2

Well... Yes "tests" are common. Over reacting from what you find, can also be common, but a mistake. If you want something memorable in your relationship, such as waiting on sex for a specific date, you need to communicate that. Look into her eyes and speak to her in a meaningful tone.

In a different situation, if she really disagrees with you. Or will not do something that you want. That's no reason to break anything off. Now an exception would be if perhaps this happened quite a lot. Very often. Then you both just might not have enough in common to keep it going.

Lasting relationships require certain aspects. One is communication, one is trust, and another is willingness to sacrifice. No matter how alike you are, you both will not have everything work out 100% just like you want. In these cases, one usually must sacrifice what they want in order for the other one to be happy. Typically it is best if the girl is the lucky one.

As for tests in general... They're overrated. Normally when you take a test, you are aware of it. Since you're not here, it is not very accurate if what the future will tell. Don't make tests. Treat the whole darn relationship as a test (until you're comfortable). When you are truly unhappy, break it off and move on. Just don't jump the gun.


Good luck.

Answer 3

You already probably know about the character of the person you are talking about here. I have been in a very similar situation, and if you get the feeling that they would just get their needs filled by someone else.... well, you need to ask yourself if you're okay with that. Being sex-friends with someone at least you don't jeopardize your heart as much... I believe you "gave in" to try and negotiate with them, as relationships are about give and take. Just be sure there is 'giving' on their side too, and not just sex.
Guys and girls give each other "s#!t tests" all the time (read The Game) and I did recently with a date because she was talking about all the free stuff she receives from people at dinner, so you know I had to make her pay for her alcohol haha. It actually went over well, and if you pay close attention you can see the character of an individual; whether it's giving or selfish, spolied or humble. Use your eyes and your gut feeling, and good luck.

Answer 4

I test them all the time. Just like they test you. Most want you to chase them. If you actually care about this chick then put your foot down and stand for what you believe. If she puts up a front and gets mad when you deny sex, kick her to the curb. Better off finding out if she's just a slut rather than digging for a long term relationship full of worrying. Trust me you will. Just got done with one after 5 years. Sure the sex is good but I wanted more and she didn't provide. Stick it in her *** and then kick her to the curb. Skeeya

Answer 5

I think testing your boyfriend or girlfriend is rather immature.

If you want to know if a relationship is based on sex, do so before attempting to "tempt" your mate. Talk to them, get to know them and make real connections based on interests that you both share.

Before "tempting" them try going to several group outings, share deep conversations where you discuss your morals, ethics...

I've had relationships that last years just because we didn't rush and got to know each other as friends first. Friends last forever, while lovers may come and go.

Answer 6

i think the whole thing of relationships is based on the need for sex and fun and the company of the opposite sex for just those fleeting moments of pleasure most peoples b/f andg/f will fail this test specially if tried initially in the relationship thus the best way is to never try it and let not the pain trouble u and let instincts rule and if he or she cheats trust me u will know for truth always wins over falsehood

Answer 7

Yes, sometimes I'll ask him something and then remember his answer...then ask him the same thing in a different way later just to see if the answer is the same (basically see if he's lying to me or not) Unfortunatly sometimes his 2nd answer to the same question is completly different then his 1st answer.

Answer 8

this is not a good idea.

some guys and girls will react to this "testing" in a very upset way and probably break up with you.


DONT DO IT.

hope I helped.

Answer 9

If my gf would do a test like that I'd be upset

Answer 10

Well that test doesn't seem fair..you gave in too..so why couldn't you wait?