did i do the right thing??

Question

i can't fall asleep because i broke up with my girlfriend... she seemed ok with the break up... the reason i broke up with her, because a month or so, she cheated on me and i took her back... but, now i cant trust her so, i broke up with her... i miss talking to her... it seems like i like talking to her, more than she likes talking to me... she could talk to me for a lil bit on the phone and say gotta go and stuff... when i want to call her, its hard to get a hold of her... i always have to wait for her to call me... right now, i miss talking to her... and i know i shouldnt call her, cause she's going to have a attitude with me, breaking up with her

Answer 1

If you read your question carefully, you will find you have already answered it.
You say you can't trust her. What has she done to regain your trust?
You miss talking to her? Do you need more friends in your life?
She brushes you off?
You miss her more than she misses you? Does that say to you that the relationship has come to an end?
Was her affair the only way she knew how to tell you she is no longer interested.?
It is important for you to know that her rejection says nothing about your value as a person. You are still what you were, before she strayed. It just says that she wants to move on.
Let her.
Make this a positive experience for yourself by asking where you could have been wiser, kinder, firmer,etc.
Aaron, you are still the wonderful person you were before this happened. You have gifts and strengths that some lucky girl will recognise in the future. Believe it, and go forward with confidence and joy. This is the best time for the end of the relationship. Think how much more damaging it would have been had you been married with children.

Answer 2

yes you did the right thing. if you have really thought about your ability to forgive her for cheating and find that the trust is not there then you are right for breaking it off - you are not doing yourself or her any favors staying in a relationship that is not based on trust. it's understandable that you miss her - you will miss her for a long time, ending a relationship is never easy. sometimes you have to take a 'day-by-day' approach; sometimes an 'hour-by-hour'. it would be too easy to call her and make-up because you are feeling lonely right now. it's best to put some real distance between you if you can. force yourself to get involved in something else - with the holidays perhaps you could do the family thing. remember that you made the right decision and in the long run you will be happier for it. trust me - in six months you will be doing something and a memory will creep in and you will wonder with a smile where all those heartbreaking feelings went. only time will allow you to get over things like this but you have to allow time to pass - that's the hardest part. good luck.

Answer 3

Quit cold turkey. Of course she's like that. It's the way she keeps the control in the relationship and you stay needy.

You need to stay away from her for about 2 years. Do not take phone calls, emails, texting, or anything else. You are no longer a couple. Maybe in a few years, if you should happen to see her on the street somewhere, THEN you will be able to talk to her as if she is like anyone else. In the meantime you need to stay away from her manipulations and learn how to be happy just being with YOU. Because until you do, all your relationships will end up this same way.

Answer 4

She cheated on you, man. It'll take time for that to stop being a barrier if you hope to continue a relationship with her. Either way, it seems her attitude toward you has cooled, so step back. Give her some space and continue with your life. Find other ways to keep yourself busy. Go hang out with other friends, find a hobby. Write angsty poems and post them on DeviantArt or something.

The thing is that it doesn't matter now if you did the right thing. It's done. What you have to do now is move forward. Learn what you can from what happened. Understand your feelings and try to understand hers and then move on. If you guys can really start talking again and become close is something only time can tell.

Answer 5

I think you did the right thing by breaking up with her. Once the trust is gone in a relationship its very difficult. What you're going through is normal, but honestly don't call her it will just make you more depressed. Try focusing more on your job, or a hobby or going out and meeting new people. This will take your mind off needing to talk to your Ex. Then hopefully she'll realize how great of a person you were and how badly she messed up.

Answer 6

I don't know if you did the RIGHT thing but i understand how you feel,once your trust has been broken it is hard to trust that person again and just get over it,it will take some time if she is really what you want and you would like to forgive her and try and make it work then doit and with time you will get over it but truthfully she doesn't really sound like she is into you or she wouldn't have taken it so good and she wouldn't be hard to get a hold of,I think it would be best to get over her and find a new one just remember your the man and YOU WILL find another one Good luck!

Answer 7

I would let it go. If you're having trust issues, then the relationship would have gotten worse, plus if she took it well and is pulling further and further away (like it sounds) then it was for the best. If you two were ment to be together, then you'll end up together. Let her be for now, it sounds like she needs time to herself. She was probably thinking of breaking up. Or she was just waiting for you to do it. Maybe she felt that things were getting distant and just thought things would resolve themself. Who knows, but if I was you, I wouldn't call her. Maybe a few months from now, send her an email, or call and talk about it.

Answer 8

This reminds me of a situation I had a few years ago.

YES. You did the right thing.

Early on in the relationship, my boyfriend had cheated while out of town on a "camping" trip. From then on, I was always suspicious of whatever they did, said, or went, even if it was entirely legitimate.

I was ALWAYS "waiting for the other shoe to drop." Just being suspicous all the time and not acting like myself. I was entirely insecure and could never get over the fact that they cheated on me.

It's a horrible feeling when someone cheats on you, but it's entirely DEVASTATING waiting for them to cheat on you again. You're always suspicious, checking out their stories, and can never believe them. Trust takes a long time to build, and a few seconds to destroy. Once its gone, it takes forever to rebuild IF it can be rebuilt at all.

Remain friends, be nice. If you miss them for their personality and input, it's because you miss being their friend and being there for them.

If you miss cuddling, then it's because you miss being in a relationship. Get over the relationship, come to terms with its demise and start dating again.

Just because you can't be together doesn't mean you can't care for them.

Answer 9

Whoa, dude! Slow down a little. Get a grip. You say you broke up with her because she cheated on you. That should be enough to clue you in to the fact that this is a girl you don't want to be around. If she cheated on you she'll probably cheat on the next one and the next one .... yada yada ...

Don't call her. Just leave her to her own devices. You have your own life to live and there are plenty of pebbles on the beach, if you get my drift. You deserve better than all this stuff.

Answer 10

You did the right thing. Anyway, why did you miss talking to her when she talks for a little with you only. Maybe you're just used to having her around and used to just picking up the phone and dial the number for her.

If there's nothing important, try not to call her since you can always call another friend that is willing to talk to you more.