Im a Mom feeling a little desperate?

Question

I am a mom of 3-4, 2, and 6mos. I love my children. But Im so sad. I feel depressed and trapped in my house. I can't sleep..Im not hungry...I just feel like I hate my life. I loved my life up until my last baby and it seems like my happiness has just vanished. I am a stay at home mom and we only have one car so that I can't go anywhere during the day and on tues and thur my husband goes to school. I feel so lonely but then I don't want to be around anyone. I could just weep right now. I try to talk to my husband about the things I need. But I feel like I don't matter. And I just love my children. And I feel so frustrated b/c I feel I have nothing to give them b/c I am always so sad and irritated all day....Ya I have good days and good hours but day after day after day ...I am so tired of it....I know they will all be in school soon and Emily next year but will my like be like this until then? I know I probably need to get on some medicine..I think I will call my doc tomor

Answer 1

It sounds like you have cabin fever and need to get out of the house. Even if you don't feel like it, at least go on a walk, have a sitter for a day or afternoon and just go somewhere without the kids. You need it for your sanity. Your husband should understand that.

You may also have some postpartum depression but I'll bet most of it is that you just need a break from your children. No matter how much you love them, it's not healthy to sit home all day every day with just your kids and no adult interaction. I don't blame you for feeling depressed & trapped, I would too!!

If you can't afford a sitter for a day, how about joining a mommy's playgroup? Check on craigslist in your area. At least then you could meet other moms so you wouldn't feel so alone.

Answer 2

I dont think you need medicine, but then again i dont know to what extent you are depressed. I truly think you need a support group for mothers especially stay at home mothers. I too have a child and am a stay at home mother ( with no car) I cant go anywhere or walk anywhere because of where we live, so like you I am stuck at home. If you have friends or loved ones that can come over and watch the kids while you go take a walk or write in a diary, i think that can truly help your sanity. You seem like you need air to breathe and figure out where all of this ( your life) is going so you can get a better hold of things. Check online for support groups or chats that you can have online for mothers. Most importantly you need to eat, you are not helping yourself nor your family by not eating and not energizing yourself especially if you are nursing. I can be of some support if you need a friend to talk to my email is [e-mail] best of luck to you

Answer 3

Definitely go see your doctor. You might be suffering from post partum depression. Your youngest is still practically a newborn, your life must be so stressful. Your doctor can give you some coping skills and help you decide if medication is right for you. Seeing a therapist could do wonders for you. Just to have someone listen to you for an entire hour and to be understanding is well worth the money. And you HAVE to take some time for yourself, however you can get it. If you need 30 minutes a night to do yoga, to take a bath, to drink tea, to shop online, or to just do nothing at all, get it. Tell your husband that you must have it or you'll go crazy. It helps so much.

Answer 4

So sorry you are feeling so bad. Raising kids is the most difficult job of all. Hang in there--try to find ways to escape mentally if you cannot leave. Read, talk on the phone--you may be depressed, too. Hormones can wreak havoc. Hang in there--many feel this way.

I cannot stress this enough--kids take it ALL--that's their job.
Soon you will have some free time, my friend, and you do need a break. Tell your husband you need time off. No one can work 24/7, and that is what you are doing. No wonder you're burned out!

Answer 5

You need to talk to your doctor ASAP as it sounds like you're suffering from post partum depression, it's common with mothers' who have children under a year old. And NO you don't get it with every child, there for the reason that you didn't recognize it. Talk to you doctor there is help out there and children of parents who are depressed when they are very young don't' do as well as other children. With out medical intervention it might get worse. With medical intervention you could be feeling better in a matter of weeks. Get the help that you need and see if you can join a mommy and me group. That would also give you the intellectual stimulation that you crave.

Answer 6

Oh girl, I have ssoooo been there. I have 2 teens and a 21 month old. I stayed home with the older 2 and I'm home again with the baby. I look as the baby as my gift (I call him my oops blessing-he so wasn't planned). He is such a gift because when the older 2 were little I was overwhelmed and depressed. And I missed a lot of their childhood being sad over things that didn't matter, things I couldn't even articulate. I blamed a lot on their father and we separated and got divorced. In hindsight, it was me as much as it was him (I didn't see that at the time). You change when you become a mother. I grew up a lot. And I didn't know who I was becoming but I knew I wasn't who I used to be. And I didn't have the time to figure it out then because I had babies in my face all the time. I wanted it that way. I chose that. But on some level I think I sort of resented it...resented not having the time to figure me out. I thought being a good mom meant giving every second to my kids...and we all suffered for it. The baby is such a gift to me because I get to see it all again...all the stuff I was too caught up in my sadness to really absorb and fully participate in with the older 2. What they showed me (way before the baby came) is that it goes SSOOOO fast. If you blink or get caught up in your own sadness or drama, you'll miss it. You'll blink and he'll go to school, she'll be out of Barbies, he'll be getting his drivers' license...seriously, it seems it went that fast. For years I was looking backward going, but I want more of that...my sweet little boy, my beautiful little girl. And they were growing up...and I felt like I missed a lot. Don't miss it. Talk to your doc, find a way to steal some time to help you figure out who you are or stay in touch with who you are. Do something. Don't miss it. Most people aren't blessed with a second chance like I am.

I am currently in the one car situation like you are and it SUX. I get that. BUT IT'S TEMPORARY. Take your little ones where ever you can get them because in a few years you'll want this time back. Have you tried hosting a play group...let the people come to you? Try meetup.com to find other moms if you don't know where to start.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

Answer 7

I think you should ask your husband for at least 1 hour by yourself even if its in your every own house at least to give yourself a manicure or pedicure or just polish your nails. Take a quiet bath, go on a date with your for just while(if you can get a babysitter for your kids). When your older kids are in school during the day try to go for a walk with you 2 younger ones even if it is around the block. I hope these suggestions help. If you want e-mail me if you need more suggestions. God Bless You.

Answer 8

You are probably experiencing what is called postpartum depression which should eventually go away. Here is a good page with lots of great information on this topic. Sadly is can last even up to 14 months after giving birth. Suggestions are given on the page as to help over come this. Take care! Hope this helps.

http://www.4women.gov/FAQ/postpartum.htm
and
http://apps.cignabh.com/web/basicsite/provider/treatingBehavioralConditions/PregnancyAndDepression.pdf

Answer 9

the feelings you describe is a problem of our modern society.

in most societies and in our country prior to the 1970's, all the women in the family would surround the female with a newly arrived, giving all the love and support that any mother could ever need.

with out electronics, tv, computers, internet and all the other things, we are fast losing the human woman to woman support for women with new babies that was common for thousands of years.

a new mother or a mother with 2,3 or 4 young has many concerns, including how her body may have changed.

taking care for 4 young children can be overwhelming. this may be why you are having the feelings you describe.

you need your mother sisters, aunts, cousins, in laws and girl friends around you with love and support.

unfortunately, in our modern society, we are losing some of those things, how to support new mothers, we learned over thousands of years.

call mom, women and girls friends in your life and family. tell them you need help and support. they will respond with love and support.

please do not be shy. you need all the support, love and friendship that is available.

good luck and god bless.

ps: let us know if the above solved the problem.

Answer 10

I can say I know how you feel my youngest is almost two and a few months ago I thought I should just drive and keep driving I felt so sad. Medicine will help but so will networking with other moms it helps even when you don't feel like it, just knowing others felt like i did made my life seem easier. There is a moms group called MOPS or mothers or preschoolers and its wonderful they are in most US cities. I hope you feel better soon it doesn't last forever I promise