Bi Polar girlfriend doesnt act like she wants to be with me?

Question

I posted a question on here a few weeks ago because i was concerned. Well im going to ask a new question. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and up until about a month ago things have been great. Come to find out this time of the year has always been really bad for her. She has had episodes in the past during this time of the year. Well about a month ago she really started acting distant. Not really calling as much not asking to hang out as much. I kinda just started calling her more and asking to hang out more to make up for her not doing it. Now its been a month of this and its getting really frustrating. She would usually spend the night at my place at least 3 times a week and i cant remember the last time she has recently. I havent seen her at all today and i think ive talked to her maybe 3 times all day long with our last conversation being the longest but not really an interesting conversation. Just some times of akward silence. Shes been busy all day but shes home now

and doesnt even say hey lets hang out or ill come over or something. she says im gonna go to the store to buy some dress pants while i have some spare time. So its just frustrating because in her spare time she would rather buy some pants then see me when i havent even seen or really talked to her all day. this stuff has been going on for like i said about a month and i just cant take it anymore and i dont know what to do. ive talked to her several times and she always says i love you and want to be with you but she always has some excuse as to why we havent been spending as much time together. i dont mean to be a needy boyfriend but when im with someone i would like to spend alot of time with them. i dont think thats a bad thing to want but all of a sudden it seems shes just too busy to hang out. i dont know if its her being bi polar or what. ive talked to her about it and tried to convince myself its just her being bi polar and the time of the year causing her to be more distant

but its getting so frustrating because im left alone wanting to be with her and im not. i barely talk to her or spend time with her anymore. i just dont know what to do. ive tried talking to her several times and nothing has changed...i dont know what to do...

as far as not knowing what to do....the last thing i want is to break up but its coming to the point where i dont know if i can take this anymore...i dont think its healthy for people in a relationship not so spend time together...im missing her all the time and i have this big void since shes been acting this way.. i just dont know how to handle this right now or what to do about it

a part of me wants to just stop calling her completely and not answer her calls so she gets the point that im upset because the more i say it nothing happens... like i wonder if i just completely stopped talkin to her and stopped taking her calls maybe she would get it...i hate even thinking like this but im desperate and im really confused

Answer 1

Seriously, this is normal, especially if it's a time of year when her symptoms tend to flare up. Many people with bipolar disorder tend to withdraw and become less social and affectionate when in a severe depressed state. I understand that it's difficult to know how to react and such, but as long as she knows you care and are supportive, the best advice I can give is to give her some space for now.

If you really want things to work out and you're concerned about the fact that she's bipolar, you should definitely try to learn more about the disorder and try to get her to open up to you about her feelings and experiences with it. There will be times when she will behave in ways you won't understand or expect, and the best way to know what to do is to learn as much as you can about it.

However, as far as giving her some space, things may reach a point when the opposite is necessary. If this is a result of depression, you should just watch for any signs that it's worsening. If it gets bad enough that you fear for her safety, you need to convince her to see her doctor/therapist, or take her to the hospital.

Answer 2

I think it may benefit both of you if in your spare time you did some reading up on bipolar disorder. Seasonal changes can be particularly difficult---as she has confided in you about this already. People with bipolar disorder often change and become less stable during this time and it becomes a struggle to get "back on track". Your girlfriend may be avoiding you for many reasons. Maybe she knows she isn't good company right now, maybe she is sad/depressed and wants time alone, maybe she is scared for you to see her like this. It would be my guess that nothing you say or do right now will bring you any closer so just give her space.

It does sound like you are a little dependent on her. Give her the time/space she is needing and see what happens. If it is meant to be then you will be able to wait for her to pull thru this difficult time SHE is having. Remember, people with bipolar disorder are managing a disease just as people with diabetes. This is something beyond their control and they are just as upset by this disease disrupting their lives/relationships as you are.

It doesn't sound like you're in it for the long haul though if her pulling away from you at this diffiuclt time is enough for you to question staying with her. Maybe if you educate yourself a little more you will be able to determine if this relationship is worth working on.

Here's a great link to help you help her, yourself and deal with emergencies. Take the first step---read, read, read.
http://www.bipolar.com/family_and_friends/family_and_friends.html

Answer 3

Play at her own game. I know it will be hard but ... DONT YOU DO IT! DO NOT CALL HER AND IF YOU DO... THAT WILL JUST MAKE YOU A SISSY! Just pretend that you are to busy for her. Im sure it will work....but if it doesnt... that must mean she might be intrested in someone else. If that is the case... go hang out with some friends and talk about it and kick back and have a few beers. But...... if you are one of thoes high schooler boys..... then... ****... there are plenty more girls out there for you who would make you happier.

Answer 4

She's bi polar. It happens,it causes a lot of problems in relationships. You need to be patient with her,as this disorder she has is frustrating for anyone who has to deal with it,or be around it. I'm sure she's frustrated as well. Ask her about this,maybe she does need space,maybe she's just in an irritated mood.

Good luck.

xx

Answer 5

It sounds like you really love this girl, but being a girl that sometimes acts like this, I'm going to give you the overused but best answer and just give her some space. If (and most likely when) she needs you she'll come running to you.

Do not smother her even if it hurts you to not be with her all the time.

Hope this helps

-KB

Answer 6

You're coming off as being rather "Clingy"- & alot of women DON'T like that. Why don't you just "back off" from her for awhile- & let her come to YOU? If she really cares about you- she'll be around... And if you DON'T hear from her- then maybe you should take the "Hint"... -There are a LOT of other pretty girls in the "Sea..." :)

Answer 7

Hey join the club. My Girlfriend is bi polar. did the same things dat ur girl is doing

She dumped me for this other jerk.
Long story short,
Guy raped her,
guy get arrested,
girl wants to come back to me,
i say yes,
were happy.

Give her some time. She'l relize that she needs u and come right to ur doorstep with flowers.

good luck ok man?

Answer 8

I think she needs some space, dude! chill out a bit and hang right back! shes not feeling it

Answer 9

Go date someone eles. I think she is avoiding maybe cause sheis cheating or doing christmas shopping.