She's 14 and he's 35.
2007-12-05 17:02:19 · 22 answers · asked by Roxanne 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have been with this man for nearly 4 years,and he's pretty much taken on the fatherly role in her life. I'm a stay at home mother working out of my home, so they are never alone. She's not very affectionate, yet I saw her hug him. She treats him like her slave, demanding and getting everything she wants from him. I have come out and asked them both, but they insist that nothing is going on between them. Am I just being paranoid?
2007-12-05 17:23:23 · update #1
Come out and ask your daughter if she is a virgin.
Of couse she will say YES.
Then take her to your Gyno. and find out.
If she isn't a virgin, tell her she needs to be honest with you, that you love her more than anyone (including this man)
then if it is him? Make sure he's arrested in the form of being kicked out.
You are the MOTHER, she is the CHILD.
There is no such thing as a love affair in this situation at these ages.
This is sick on this man you have allowed into your home.
If you are suspecting and I don't even like the way she acts. it's like, do it or I'll tell. right?
Take some action, but remember you are her mother, not a jealous girlfriend.
Oh and if you don't find out now? She will most definatly throw it up in your face later on in life that she was sexually abused by him.
So...which way do you want to find out? By taking action now or the later?
Good luck, this is S E R I O U S business.
AND do not let him know she is going to the Doctors. Call them first and explain what you are doing. Just say you need for her to have a check up it's very urgent. Keep closed lip about it untill her appointment.
Do not even tell her she's going till she's in the office with the dr. just tell her you want her to go with you to see what it's like and don't let her push you around. But say this on the way, this way she can not inform him of what's going on.
Then if it's confirmed have a place to take her safe where they will not allow her to call him or anyone and you do what any decent mother needs to do. Call the police and have him hauled out of your home or you are a bad mother.
2007-12-05 17:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can even ask that question about your bf, kick his @rse out! She's 14 for God's sake!?! That's not an affair, it's statutory rape and it's illegal for a good reason! Even if you suspect she's a willing participant (God help you), she's too young and immature to know what that's all about. Medically speaking, her brain isn't developed enough to process this like an adult, so you shouldn't treat her as such. Call the freaking cops and get her some councilling.
To answer your question though - get a camcorder and set it up in a likely place. You can also buy mini spyware items that you can hide all over the place. It is not illegal to record things in your own home (assuming it's your place) so you can do what you like in there and in your car. If you don't want to go that far, tell them you'll be home late and come home early. Following one when the other is already out is also an option.
2007-12-06 01:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call it an affair if this is whats going on. Keeping watching them and the way they are around each other. If your daughter is acting weird more that usual then I would start asking questions. Sometimes we all have that little instinct that we have to follow even if there are those that think that there is nothing there. Follow your heart, determine what is instinct and what is paranoia. If something is going on then you need to take a huge step to help your daughter. Mind you she is only 14, not old enough to handle adult life yet. I hope everything is good. Good luck and God Bless
2007-12-06 01:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter still a child, even if some kids at that age are well over developed and ahead of their pears still a child, hold her hands, look straight to her eyes and ask her if there's something you should know, don't let her take her eyes away from you, see if she can lie with a straight face. If they are then it'll be statutory rape, obviously she's a minor and jell will be a good part for a man that age to take advantage of both of you.
2007-12-06 01:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check their cell phone records?
Try a line of subtle questioning with your daughter or take your 14 year old in to see the doctor and see if the part under her panties is still intact...? If it isn't, you would need answers. If he is active with your daughter, the he can be sent to prison for statutory rape.
2007-12-06 01:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's pretty sad that you even suspect that something may be going on. If you think your 35 year old boyfriend is in anyway innapropriatly touching your 14 year old...you should leave.
2007-12-06 01:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If shes 14, then he's a pedophile and needs to be arrested.
Your daughter is NOT an adult and is therefore not having a love affair.
You need to protect your daughter from this man.
Be her mother.
2007-12-06 01:06:54 · answer #7 · answered by Stan W 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wow. The fact that you even question it should raise some red flags. women have realy good gut feelings that are never wrong. If you think something is going on then there probably is. Something has to have made you think that they are.And if so i hope you charge him with rape.
2007-12-06 01:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by itsasecret 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. I think if you're even asking this question there's a problem and you need to do something now.
If he's doing anything, he's a pervert and you need to get him away and call the police, and get her into counseling.
2007-12-06 01:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is happening, you may have to hire someone to watch them to get your answers. I hope it isn't happening to you, but if it is, I hope you can find the right answers to fix the problem. Your boyfriend is very wrong if he is in fact doing this. Good luck to you
2007-12-06 01:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋