my family is not willing to change at all. It is so hard for me to deal with them.i cant talk to them. They give me such low self esteem. They also make me feel like i am not loved. My dad is such an alchoholic and one night said he was going to pick up my brother when me was drunk!! I couldn't believe it. Also my mom is always frustrated but is horribly controling and never likes my brother to see his friends and im 20 and she dosn't like it when i go out either! she will start to take back emotional support and buying things for us when people arn't obidient of her. She is also always putting people on guilt trips. I really dont like my family at all! I am so nice too. I dont know what to do. I don't want to move out though because they pay for everything and think I need to praise them for the world because they do. my mom gets mad at me too when i tell her all the neat things i want to do in life. lThey are going to pay for school and pay for my car. I dont know what to do. help me
2007-12-05 16:05:01 · 7 answers · asked by ashley 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Best way to deal with them is to stop changing them and focus on better things than all the negative crap they're giving you. Focus on your studies and if they pay for your car, so be it. But avoidance is better at this point than focusing on them. Ever wonder why everyone is so messed up? Maybe the whole family should go into counseling.
2007-12-05 16:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it sounds like your parents and mine just may be related!!! You have a tough decision to make. There are pros and cons either way. My mother used to do the same thing to me. She would buy me stuff, then take it back. She would even threaten me with knives to my neck and throwing whatever she could at me. She told me that I was worthless and would never amount to anything. I ended up leaving home when I was 14 and have been on my own ever since. What you really have to cosider is are they capable of buying your love and respect? I left home, still managed to go on to college, and now run my own business. What are you going to to if they start to pay for school and give you a car, but then they take it back because they are in one of their moods?
2007-12-06 01:46:22 · answer #2 · answered by Roxanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, you have a normal dysfunctional family. Tons of kids out there are going through what you are going through. Just focus on graduating from college and move out once you graduate.
If you really can't stand it - then move the hell out now! You can get a job and pay for your own car, etc...
2007-12-06 00:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom is is exactly like that but think about being disabled and living with your mom. My sister lives in Wyoming and my mom actually let me move out their with no grief. I can't say my relationship with my mom is allot better,but I don't have Ignoring me, guilt trips, her saying why don't you ever call me. I mean you may have it harder, but if your old enough you have to move out. My sister says her relationship is better with my mom. If your still underage just stay in your room all the time, or go to a friends.
2007-12-06 01:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by dearmeohmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help yourself by getting to alanon and learn what enabling is. Your mother is a classic codependent, typical of being the spouse of a drunk. You are going to have to choose if you want hell and financial support or freedom and going it alone.
2007-12-06 00:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beggars cant be choosers. Your choice is to keep living off of them and deal with all of it or get a job and move out. You choose to stay and live off of them so there is nothing anyone can do for you here.
2007-12-06 00:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u sound like split personalities. time to see a therapist. you might have to go to a psychiatric hospital for a while, but it will do you some good.
2007-12-06 01:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋