Funny things your kids say?

Question

My kids say such funny things and my nieces and nephew are funny, too.

I have to say the two recent ones that took the cake were:
I was explaining to my 11 year old where babies come from and how they are made. I used all the correct terminology, etc. My 6 year old was listening in and as I was explaining intercourse, I said, "That's called 'sex.'" My 6 year old looked ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED and says to me in this horrified voice, "Mommy!? You SEXED Daddy??" Lol.

My mom was telling my 11 year old nephew that he needs to pick up after himself because he's not a little kid anymore, he's a man. So he says, totally seriously, "Yes, but I'm really in touch with my inner child and that inner child is only 11." Lol.

What are some things your kids say?

Tabby, I think you misunderstood, dear. I was explaining to them what sex was. Are you saying your parents have sex in front of you? What do you mean by, behind your kids' back? I don't understand what you mean but I'm a little freaked out about it, I have to say.

Answer 1

One day I was shopping with my 3 year old niece at the mall and we passed a bench where this lady was breastfeeding her baby and as we walked away my niece tugged on my shirt and said "why is that baby sucking on her elbow". I just laughed and laughed.

Answer 2

Alright I have two things one is funny the other is just super sweet! This comes from my 4 yr old daughter.
One day I was brushing the tangles out of her hair and I hurt her a bit doing that...she turns around with the angry, frustrating look at yells...."MOM, YOU'RE FIRED" Guess she is auditioning for Trump or something....I was fired as her mother. Where does a four yr old get this stuff!!
The next is super sweet. My daughter just recently lost her second tooth and as she is fond of the change rather than the paper money the tooth fairy was kind enough to leave her 8 quarters. After the excitement of getting 8 quarters from the tooth fairy she says " Mom, I am going to put this here for safe keeping so I can give it to Santa." So I ask her why do you want to give your money to Santa. She then says " Because it is so nice of him to come and give me presents."
I have the BEST kid!!!
This was fun to share, thanks!

Answer 3

My son (he's 10)comes home from school one day thoroughly distraught because of a joke he had heard in school. I asked him what the joke was and he said, " How many times does 1 go into 0? " I replied, " I don't know, honey, how many? " (Mind you I am thinking on a little kid level not mature) He replies, " Jeffery said as many times as he wants. " I just about died when he said that. Needless to say we had " The Talk " that evening.

Another time with this same son (when he was nearly 9) he had a bit of a confrontation with one of his ex-friend's mothers. The mother came to our house to find out why my son refused to play with her son. My son told her point blank, " Angelo curses and does bad things so I don't want to hang out with him." Her response (juvenile as it was) was, " So do you." My son answered this by saying, " Only when I hang out with Angelo and I don't like who I am with him so I don't want to hang out with him."

My youngest son likes his hair on the longer side and has a rather mild appearance (at least until his German gets going). Anyway, one day we are out walking and this little old lady approaches us and compliments me on my daughter (I don't have one). Before I could respond my youngest politely explains he is a boy (he's been through this many a time by this point). The old lady insists he is a girl because he has long hair. After many attempts to set her straight my youngest son replies, " Well, you must be a man then 'cause your hairs is short, you wear guy pants, shirt, and shoes, and you smell like an old man." She stormed off while we walked on, my son smiling.

My second oldest visits with his father. He came home the one time a bit disgusted. He told me that his father had informed him it was alright to cuss. His response was, " Mommy, you told me it's not polite to cuss so I told Daddy if he ever did I would have to tell his Mommy." (I was so proud of him)

Finally, my oldes (my step-son....normally I wouldn't put any emphasis on this but this time it matters) is only 14 years younger than me. We were out for a walk the one day and bumped into a couple of his friends. They start chatting it up and his one friend says, " Oh, is this your sister? " This made my day but the funny part was he tried pushing the compliment a little too far....later he said, yes his friend really thought I was his sister (considering I do look about 22/23 and am way older than that, maybe.....big maybe) but then added that she thought I was his younger sister. (such a little b.s.er)

Answer 4

I am 51 I was shopping in my local Club Warehouse on Tuesday. I used one of the flatbed carts as I was buying my Monthly Case of Bottled Water. While waiting in line, there was a lady with two boys in front of me. One of her sons said; "Look Mom, that Man has a beard!" She said; "Yes he Does". Then her other Son said; "Mom, that man has a big cart!" She replied, "Yes He does" She then pointed to the cart and lady in the next lane and told them she also had many large items as well. I told her boys were well behaved. She thanked me and said well sometimes they can be a hand full.

Answer 5

We went to the mall last weekend and there was a children's book signing and there was someone in a turtle costume.
OMG , my daughter freaked out (she is 2 1/2) so every time we get in the car she says, "mama no go mall, BIG turtle, scary, mama no go mall.
My sister said my husband planned it so he could save money on my shopping.

Answer 6

I don't have kids, but my nephews are good for laughs.

When my nephew was about 6, he walked into my mother's kitchen. She, my two aunts and my sister were sitting at the table. He looked at them and said, "There's more girls here than humans!"

When the other nephew was five, he was told by his father to go ask his mother what she wanted on her sandwich. He went upstairs, asked her, and she said "Lettuce, ham, and mayo." He went back downstairs, repeating the order over and over to himself. He went up to his father and said, "Mom wants Lettuce, hay, and meadow!"

Answer 7

That's funny you ask. When my husband and I were putting our girls to bed tonight, our 5 year old said to my husband, "Daddy, I wouldn't like it if you put sand in my bed. It would go up my butt like it does at the beach." Don't know why she said it, but it had me rolling. Kids say the funniest things. Thank you for all the laughs.

Answer 8

well, a friend of my sister has a little cousin, who upon seeing it had snowed ran up to their mother and said
"Mommy, the clouds fell on the lawn!"

My own cousin was in kindergarten, and lectured some relatives on how you work slow if you're paid by the hour, and quickly if you're paid by the job.

Answer 9

That is soooo cute!
My son is only 11 months old. He talks some. Sometimes actions speak louder then words.
My husband sleeps in A LOT! My son was cuddling in bed with us in the morning. My husband was snoring and turned his back towards us. My son turned around faced my husband, stood up...started to pat his daddy on the back and said for the first time, " Dada up, up dada". Then he proceeded to take his face right up next to my husbands, tried to open his eyes with his little fingers..and YELLED..."DADA...UPPPPP!".
I couldn't of said it better myself! lol

Answer 10

They called the mechanic a "car plumber" one day. I guess because he was underneath the car like a plumber.

The funniest thing I've ever heard was from my cousin. She was about 4 and I was dressing her for the day. She picked out a pair of underwear and I said "Those are sooo cute! Do you think they'd fit me?" (I was joking because she was reluctant to put them on). She said "No, your butt is too big. Kinda like grandma's."