a couple months ago one of my male friends asked if we could date but i only see him as a friend so he agreed to remain that way,but he still flirts and makes little comments about dating so i know he still has it on his mind.i dont get this? if someone doesnt feel the same way about you as you feel for them shouldnt that make the eprson not like you any more? i mean why do they persist? instead of dating someone who likes them the same way? what do you guys think?
2007-12-05 15:13:35 · 31 answers · asked by aleah2515 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The same exact thing happened to me and I'm in my thirties. Only I didn't realize that the person wanted more until a couple of years later. I guess I may have pushed aside any signs that they gave. But I made it perfectly clear and told them verbatim that I wanted to be friends only.
I think a few different things may happen in this kind of case.
These are only possibilities as you never know what goes on in the person's mind.
A. The person may have heard and understood your position loud and clear that you wanted to be friends and he may have agreed at the time. But as he got to know you more, he ended up liking you in a romantic way. The guy can't help it so you can't knock him for that.
B. The person may have only HEARD you loud and clear but figured they would take you up on just being friends because that is better than nothing with you and who knows, maybe YOU will grow to like him romantically. But if the two of you do not associate as friends that would never happen so he had better agree to being friends with you. Sometimes what you say just doesn't sink in when the person wants more.
Option B is a little bit more malignant than A, I think.
There may be other possibilities.
So what do you do? Tell this person that there is no way in the world that you would ever be attracted to him? I didn't tell my guy friend that. I wouldn't tell anyone that. Too mean. Finally he got the picture and went out looking for a g-friend and poof, he found one.
I have to admit that I become annoyed when I make something clear but the person doesn't listen even though I may understand the possibilities for why.
C. Some people may also really believe that there is no way that 2 people could be friends of the opposite sex - that they must have romantic feelings for each other. This is bullshit as you know.
Just make sure you stand your ground but in a nice way that doens't offend him as a person. And make sure your ACTIONS say that you are only friends with him. That means no flirting or inuendos.
2007-12-05 15:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by Hermione G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a huge crush on you, and he's trying to win you over with his charm and charisma. It's a compliment to you, so give the guy a break. Girls do it too, flirting and falling all over guys who don't give them the time of day, thinking that a tight shirt and a big smile will get them a date. It's all part of the game.
When I was single, I always considered a guy's interest in me a compliment, and even if I didn't want to date him and had to turn him down, I tried very hard to be respectful and gracious and not say or do anything to embarrass him or make him feel like a fool.
When you behave with integrity and kindness, you attract people who will treat you that way.
2007-12-05 15:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in the same situation. I have known this guy all my life and he makes it very known that he wants to be with me, but I don't feel the same way. I don't exactly know why he still persists about being with me after I've told him how I felt, but some guys are just like that. They think if they keep it up they can finally break you I guess.
2007-12-05 15:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Manna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow im in this situation now, i'm 17 she's 16. he'll give up soon, but i, i f'in love this girl shes a good friend and i love her as a person in no particular way but i wanted to go out with her and i tried and tried you wouldn't believe how hard i tried i did her so many favors and spents a few thousand on her and guess what no luck she cares about me alot too but as a friend i tried for 6 months and no luck. the reason was because there is no one like her, i never met anyone more amazing with her whole personality, and to top it off she is the cutest thing i ever seen. i couldn't just settle for friendship but last night she said she'd never feel different and i'm crushed : ( i did everything for that girl and tried to be so nice, i know money can't buy love but that was only to make her happy i tried so hard to be sweet and i guess fun but she doesn't know the real real me because i never opened up i'm wayy too shy around her. right now were just really really good friends. im so hearbroken. if you have any more questions you can email me about how to get rid of him or find out if he rally means it w/e
2007-12-05 15:26:13 · answer #4 · answered by matthew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the guy wants to marry you...dating is just a gateway into that level of relationship. Who's to say you shouldn't just skip the dating part and just marry the dude? How bad can it be? Doe she have halitosis? If so, ask him to drink more water or pop in a Tic Tac here and there. It doesn't hurt to ask. Whatever you do, don't give it up until that dude puts a ring on your finger!
2007-12-05 15:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have'nt you ever heard the term "if at first you don't suceed, try, try, again?" Obviously he thinks maybe you'll change your mind. How many of these answers have you read from the female who has said "when I was in high school there was this guy who was my friend, and after life happening, I'm having feelings for him." I guess its feelings of familarity + some. So until he has someone else to set his mind on, "duck, duck, goose your it!
2007-12-05 15:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by agcgartner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone likes a person of think they are someone special, they don't ever give up. I like this girl. She has a boyfriend, but that doesnt stop me from trying to be friends with her and see what could possibly happen in the future.
2007-12-05 15:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone likes you , they arent going to give up on you. If you say go away i dont like you, then yeah they are totally in love with you. Hey maybe you should try dating him and see if you liek it...he would most likely be very good to you if youre already good friends and stuff...
but be sure you keep in mind..it can ruin friendships by dating so id be careful.. good luck!
2007-12-05 15:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by Chasity B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this must be very uncomfortable for you since your friend apparently doesnt seem to know when to stop bringing it up.You should tell him that you only like him as a friend and dont want to go out with him cause you dont want to mess up your friendship.Dont give in cause you dont like him like that and you still want to stay friends.Trust me,once you go out with a friend its hard to go back to being friends once you break up.
2007-12-05 15:25:37 · answer #9 · answered by lovey!dovey!babe! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we guys are pretty simple minded when it comes to affairs of the heart. when we are attracted to someone with our heart we are blinded by that feeling and don't see the consequences of carrying that feeling to a girl who doesn't like us the same way. keep him as a special friend but keep reminding him the way you feel and you both may be happy. who knows maybe you'll develop deeper feeling for him.
2007-12-05 16:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by cool breeze 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋