Is it better to have loved and lost?

Question

...than never to have loved at all?
I loved, and lost him 3 years ago. We are still friends, but he has since remarried. For all the pain and agony I have gone through, (and am still going through, because I still cry over him sometimes).....I feel that it is better to never have loved at all. If I never met him, I never would be feeling so much pain.

Answer 1

It IS better to have loved and lost. Whatever pain you have gone through and continue going through will make you stronger and wiser for yourself and for the next person you will be in a relationship with. Mature from this, and find someone new. He obviously has. And three years is a really long time, you should really move on and not shed a single tear from here on out. The world is too big for everyone to be swimming in a pond.

Answer 2

It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. You simply don't know how to fall out of love with him. Thus, you pine for a man you cannot have and the pain is doubled because you won't let go. He would tell you that. Not that it makes a difference, but if you were married to him, I understand why you feel the way you do.

Answer 3

You can only learn from this. We learn from our past because if we don't than we're the ones who lose. It is better to have gone through this because now you know what to avoid and what you need and love is a good thing (even though in this case it is associated with pain.) Trust me you will find the person who will love you and you will love them. Don't worry about loving and losing, anyways some people are not meant to stay in our lives forever. Let them go so you can grow.

live L O V E. And learn from it. Work on you, make yourself happy.

Answer 4

Yes!
Better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all
b/c.... 1st, you were able to, 2nd....love means never having
to say you're sorry!
Know that you wouldn't have ever felt that special
feeling of being in love, the happiness it brought
you and the specialness that you felt, if you hadn't
known him.
Take what you've learned from this expirience and try
again. You must let go and move on.
He's happy where he's at and if you love him, you
must respect that and be happy for him.
Wish him the best that life has to offer.
It's ok to admit to yourself that you're sorry it couldn't
be you. It happened and it still happens to all of us!
Love is sooo irrational !!!
It can bring us oooh so much joy, pleasure and ecstacy
as well as sorrow, pain and torture.
I truly empitize with you.
Right now, men and love are your argument.
How I wish I could help you make it all go away.
But I can't, at least not now.
Know that by sharing your torment with us, you've
taken a huge step towards your emotional healing.
I congratulate you on your courage to seek help
and guidence. We are here for you!!!
Cherish the memory if you must, but stop thinking of
what it could've been.
Be kind to yourself !!
Please remember.....
You don't have to be a star, baby, to be in our show!!!!
There is more to you than you realize.
Good luck and happiness to you.

Answer 5

No, but you should love again because it's great.

Find someone else, love again, be loved again with the understanding that there will be pain and that it might end - again.

If that one ends, grieve and feel the pain, then find someone else and do it all over again.

Try to learn from your previous relationship experiences and avoid the patterns that caused problems.

Honestly, it's what the vast majority of us are doing and if you accept that it's going to hurt really bad sometimes, you get the fantastic part.

Better to have loved and lost.

Answer 6

My friend feels the same way over his ex-girlfriend. I think that it's better to have loved and lost because you still have all of the good memories to think back on. Much better than to have never loved anyone and have nothing to look back on.

Answer 7

I have been in your shoes. Would you give up all of the wonderful memories you had with him just so you could be happier right now? I endured nights of crying until I vomited after knowing that he didn't love me as much as I did after having been together for almost 10 years, but I would never have given back even one minute with him to feel better about it now. He helped make me the strong woman that I am today. He helped form who I have become. Learn and grow. That's all we can do as humans.

Answer 8

I totally understand you, but at the same time, we learn so many valuable lessons from heartbreak. We learn who to trust and who not to trust (and the frailty of the human heart), we learn that love sometimes means letting go and we learn to cope with the fact that we cannot always control our own destinies much less someone else`s. We not only go through this with the lovers that jilt us, but with our friends, parents, co-workers, jobs, children and spouses as well. It is all part of life, but it sure sucks doesn`t it?

Answer 9

its better 2 hav loved and lost b cuz u dont hav 2 spend the rest of your life woundering what it wouldve been like and if it would have been the same way 4 him you wont hate yourself later if u found out he liked u back then like a while ago i knew this boy and he was really nice and funny but we were just friends and i never knew he liked me so i never asked him out but then a while ago i founbd out he like me like a year nd a half ago so i thought about it and realized i kinda liked him to so i asked him out and he said no because he didnt think of me that way anymore so i never got 2 love i just lossed so it is good that you got to feel both sides with him

Answer 10

I agree with you it would have been better if you had never this person at all but I have been down your path it hurt more seening him with this new woman.
just seening them together hurt even more most if it should have been you instead of the other woman. and it can't help but bother you. I hope things get better for you my dear. please hang in there. as time goes on you will start to mend from this pain you have for him.