Im 17 about to be 18. My mom is cool with it because my half brother has been in for 7 years. My mom is white and christian and my dad is arab and muslim....they are divorced and both remarried. My dad has a problem with me joining because of course his native background and his whole family living in the mid east. I don't know what to do. every time i talk about it with him he shuts it down and doesn't want to ever talk to me about it again. He tries to be pretty controlling and tells me how it is and how it is going to be. He tells me that i am going to college and he wont listen to me. If i join the military he wont talk to me for god knows how long... What should i do?
2007-12-05 15:05:36 · 10 answers · asked by FtrMrn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your choice is to be your own man and follow your heart or let your fathers ideas and prejudices to control your life. If he controls this he will continue to try to control all you do that he disagrees with. You have to prove youre a man with your own mind and heart. Tell him you love him but youre a man now and youre going to live like one and not like a little boy. Tell him he helped teach you to be a man but that it also means making your own choices right or wrong. Let him know he is foremost in your mind but as a man you have to go your own way. I cant believe any father could not respect a son who spoke to his father that way as long as it was with respect.
2007-12-05 15:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A number of things spring to mind as I look at your question, which can only mean that there are complexities involved with making this decision that you need to carefully consider. So, maybe it would be helpful if you took a moment to compartmentalize these issues so that you can determine what is most important to you.
At the top of the list is your stated desire to join the Armed Forces. This is a very demanding, but noble profession full of opportunities and rewarding experiences, but it is not without risks. You are nearly at the age where the law recognizes your ability to make an informed decision; realistically, you could make this decision legally even without your parents' approval. But even though at 18 you CAN make this decision for yourself, there is no way you can adequately assess the life and death risks without a frame of reference for it...and frankly, at 18 most people have no reference point for issues of this magnitude. This is where the counsel of your parents has particular relevance (and value). As you've already noted, their perspectives are likely to be a bit varied, emotional, and melodramatic. This is because they ultimately want what's best for you, and they are concerned at all times about your happiness and your safety. They recognize (as you should) that we are currently a nation at war, so when you explain to your father the educational and occupational opportunities that are available to you in the military, dad is less than impressed. *(It should also be noted that there is compromising middle ground between your two positions: You could go to college in an ROTC program which would pay for your education and simultaneously train you in the military disciplines you'll be required to know. When you enter the military at the conclusion of your college years, you will enter as a commissioned officer...that translates into better pay, more responsibility, and, if such things matter to you, more prestige [though everyone who serves is worthy of honor and respect]).
Every branch of the military serves an important function in defense of this nation and its interests. But no matter how elite a unit you serve with, ultimately you're only as good as your Commander-in-Chief (the president)...additional food for thought. Your parents similarly serve an important function in defense of you and your interests. You are nearing the stage in your life where they surrender control of your life to you, but their concern and worry for you will last for the rest of their lives. It's a pain sometimes (feeling the burden of their concerns), but there are days ahead where it will be strong comfort knowing someone unequivocally has your back no matter what.
You have much to think about, but realize that things you may now consider to be barriers are actually resources. Use them all to your advantage to arrive at the correct decision for yourself. Good luck to you as you make this decision. Happy Holidays.
P.S. To Marco: Semper Fi, Devil Dog!
2007-12-06 06:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the US and not your fathers country. Here we make decisions for ourselves. You are very young, and I can understand your fathers fears. No one wants to lose a child, or have one horribly maimed. However you have to decide if this is your future as you vision it. If it is, then do what feels right to you and don't look back.
2007-12-05 15:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what - you have better things to do than join the military. Its not a good place for you if you have better options like going to college and stuff. Too many parents have lost good sons to this war and frankly, don't be part of the statistic and understand your parents' point of view on it.
2007-12-05 15:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Equinox 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I am a MARINE and my mother threw a fit when i told her i joined the US MARINES. but she got over it, god only knows how much longer our country's military presence will be over there to begin with, we could pull out tommorow, every man goes his own way, im sure your father did the same, i wonder if you speak your dads native language? that would help, things are calming down over there any way, and we are helping the people over there. if you dont do what you want with your life you will resent your father trust me. he will forgive you and i bet that he will be damn proud of you, mine was. and he is hardcore mexican, and wanted me to go to college and do all that, but i didnt want to be and old man and say to myself " i should have joined". is your profile name future marine? if it is youre gonna have a whole lot of fun at boot...
2007-12-05 15:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by Marco 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just tell your dad that this is what you want to do with your life and you dont want to hurt him but this is your choice to make . Tell him you respect him but you will have to make this choice on your own . my son is Marine and its hard but its what he wanted to do and i suport him because I LOVE HIM.
2007-12-05 15:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your life. If your dad loves you he will accept your decision. he might be upset for awhile but i'm sure he will get over it.
2007-12-05 15:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by jenk1972 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not there decision it is choice you make if you want to do it the best thing to do is sit down with your parents and tell them that it is what you want to do.and tell them y u do.
2007-12-05 15:14:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
its your life. follow your dreams. all you have to do is take their views in to consideration.
2007-12-05 15:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't do it, you are too young. Go to college and live your life. War is not pretty.
2007-12-05 15:20:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋