After our daughter turned almost 2, we (my husband decided, i stood by his decision) cut ties with his parents. His mother has issues and nothing is ever good enough. Step-father is a bit controlling and was abusive to my husband as a child - He was always the outsider in the family. He has a step brother (36 yrs old, still living @ home, no girlfriend, little social life) The 3 are very introverted and once our daughter was born my mother-in-law made every excuse in the book not to be involved (not major parties, no babysitting requested - she wanted to be paid for that...just wanted her to come over for coffee every once in a while and enjoy her granddaughter) Anyway - we cut off ties. Haven't talked to them in almost 5 yrs (they live 10 mins away) My husband's stepdad is now sick with a rare disease and his mother is on the verge of a breakdown. a birdy told me) Husband still questions why they didn't fight the "cutting off" thing and has never been truely happy since Do I tell him?
2007-12-05 14:50:21 · 11 answers · asked by mscarlybobarlysmom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Of course you tell him. The next response is up to him.
2007-12-05 14:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by colder_in_minnesota 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all have you considered the source of the information? Is the "birdie" reliable or are they possibly dropping information for the benefit of the in-laws? I guess in either case, I would tell him what you've heard and let him decide what he wants to do with that information. He has a right to know, but that doesn't mean that there has to be a "relationship" or that you need to subject your child to any of it. After 5 years, it may be hard to break the ice and your husband may decide it just isn't worth it, but it really should be his decision to make especially since you say that you stood by his first decision in regards to that part of the family. My thought is that if the step-brother, who is obviously closer to the situation can't help, then your husband probably can't either and maybe that is the way he will see it as well. Good Luck with whatever comes of it all.
2007-12-05 15:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by JVar 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. If the dad is really bad, and might not make it, your husband has to make the decision if he has some things that need to be said or done. Once a person is gone than you can't tell them how you feel. If he doesn't want to go, that is his decision.
2007-12-05 14:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it needs to be his choice and he should be aware of whats going on when it is a life and death matter. If he chooses to do nothing, thats his choice, but if i was in that situation, I would at least like to know if the situation takes a sever turn for the worse.
Your hubby may not care, but if one of them rolls over and dies, hes upset about it and he finds out later that you knew and never told him, it will lead to a sticky situation.
My mom is in the same situation right now, she cut off her brother and his wife and my grandparents want nothing to do with her and visa versa. But i think if it came down to it, she would make amends to avoid having to live with the guilt of not doing so while she could
2007-12-05 15:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would. Let your husband make his decision about whether he wants to see them or not. It would probably be a good idea for him to see them (at least on occasions). Think of what your daughter is missing by not having a relationship with her grandparents. I understand they have been difficult but try to work it out.
2007-12-05 14:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by babybear330682000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should there not your parents, you should tell him you just found out and let him dis side what he should do about it if he doesn't care tell him very comely that he should do something about it, remember this is a very hard time for him if you tell him but you must!!!
2007-12-05 15:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl i think you had better tell him.
He will want to go see them,even if they are a** holes.
Good luck to you with the in-laws.
2007-12-05 15:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by skunk 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to tell him. What he does with that info is up to him. You have to stand by his decision no matter what.
2007-12-05 14:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by jenk1972 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yup, tell him. Let him decide what to do next since it's his family, not yours.
2007-12-05 15:02:43 · answer #9 · answered by Equinox 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do.
2007-12-05 15:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋