Will we be allowed to date when I am commissioned as an officer?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. He is currently enlisted in the Marines and I am about to graduate from college. I am in the Air Force ROTC program and will be commissioned as an officer soon after my graduation. Is anyone familiar with fraternization rules and can tell me if my boyfriend and I will still be allowed to date? We love each other very much, but we also don't want to break any rules. Please help!

Answer 1

The Navy Fraternization Policy OPNAVINST 5370.2C (which your USMC boyfriend falls under) states the following in paragraph 3 - Policy:

"Personal relationships between officer and enlisted members which are unduly familiar and do not respect differences in rank and grade are prohibited and violate long-standing custom and tradition of the naval service. Similar relationships which are unduly familiar between officers or between enlisted members of different rank or grade may also be prejudicial to good order and discipline or of a nature to bring discredit on the naval service and are prohibited. Officer and enlisted members are prohibited from engaging in such unduly familiar personal relationships regardless of the service affiliation or service rules of the other person, including unduly familiar relationships with members of foreign military services. Commands are expected to take administrative and disciplinary action as necessary to correct such inappropriate behavior. This instruction and the prohibition of fraternization found in Article 1165 of reference (a) are lawful general orders effective without further implementation. Violation of this instruction or Article 1165 subjects the involved members to disciplinary action under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ)."

It also states later on in the instruction that..."Conduct, which constitutes fraternization, is not excused or mitigated by a subsequent marriage between the offending parties."

Based on the policy statement, you would not be allowed to date and/or marry. Does it happen? Yes. Do people get in trouble for it? Most often times not, as long as they conduct themselves professionally while on duty. The fact that you will not be in the same COC does not make it right, but it makes it easier.

Answer 2

Best advice, consult a JAG! First, cross service dating does not guarantee protection from fratenization charges. Consult a JAG on that one. Second you will most likely be stationed apart for pretty much the rest of your careers, unless you marry and your reserve contract allows you to follow him and he's not stuck on a ship or an unaccompanied billet. If you can be married prior to commissioning,you would be marrying as a "civilian" (you're not commissioned yet) and bypass the fraternization problem and you and your spouse can then request basing with or near one another. Big pain requiring both services to coordinate your orders and does not protect againt unaccompanied billets or shipboard assignments.

If you are realy sure he is the one and wish to wed to stay together, consult your unit JAG officer for specific advice.

Answer 3

if he is in the Marines and you are in the Air Force there should be nothing wrong with it. As i understand it fraternization is only forbidden when two people are in the same unit. Probably because of how emotion can cause an effect on your work progress or something. Don't take my word for it but i'm pretty sure that you two would be allowed to date and get married if need/want be as long as you two are not in the same unit.

P.S. i'm sure there are a lot of military couples out there who are even in the same military branch.

Answer 4

I can tell you that when the Army changed it's policy back in the late 90's, it was ostensibly to bring it in line with that of the other services. I'm not an expert on the other services regulations, but the Army's is quite clear. There is not to be fraternization between officer and enlisted...period. The only exceptions made are in the cases of activities in a professional context or in the case of religious or civic activities. Of course that leaves a lot of unresolved questions...what if, as a non-commissioned officer, I am married to a commissioned officer's sister (which, in fact I am)? Does this mean I can't have him come for Thanksgiving? The most draconian aspects of the policy are reserved for couples...doesn't matter which service you are in or how long you have dated. A "change in status" requires that you terminate the relationship or get married. According to the Army's interpretation, there is no other option.

You could probably "get away with it," and I'm not suggesting that you get married or terminate the relationship. I'm just telling you what the regulations say.

Citation follows:
Relationships Between Officers and Enlisted

Certain types of personal relationships between officers and enlisted personnel are prohibited, even if they don't meet the above criteria. Prohibited relationships include:


(1) Ongoing business relationships between officers and enlisted personnel. This prohibition does not apply to landlord/tenant relationships or to one-time transactions such as the sale of an automobile or house, but does apply to borrowing or lending money, commercial solicitation, and any other type of ongoing financial or business relationship. In the case of Army National Guard or United States Army Reserve personnel, this prohibition does not apply to relationships that exist due to their civilian occupation or employment.

(2) Dating, shared living accommodations other than those directed by operational requirements, and intimate or sexual relationships between officers and enlisted personnel. This prohibition does not apply to


(a) Marriages that predate the effective date of this policy (March 1, 2000)

(b) Situations in which a relationship which complies with this policy would move into noncompliance due to a change in status of one of the members (for instance, a case where two enlisted members are married and one is subsequently commissioned or selected as a warrant officer).

(c) Personal relationships outside of marriage between members of the National Guard or Army Reserve, when the relationship primarily exists due to civilian acquaintanceships, unless the individuals are on active duty (other than annual training) or Full-time National Guard duty (other than annual training).

(d) Personal relationships outside of marriage between members of the Regular Army and members of the National Guard or Army Reserve when the relationships primarily exists due to civilian association and the Reserve component member is not on active duty (other than annual training) or Full-time National Guard duty (other than annual training).

(f) Soldiers and leaders share responsibility, however, for ensuring that these relationships do not interfere with good order and discipline. Commanders will ensure that personal relationships which exist between soldiers of different ranks emanating from their civilian careers will not influence training, readiness, or personnel actions.

Answer 5

counting on which branch of the protection rigidity perspectives will selection. considering the fact that we are speaking military, there's somewhat extra tolerance than the army or Marine Corps. we are additionally speaking national look after (aka military) as against popular military. whilst he's no longer activated, i could assume NO stigma or problems with the two occupation. I see 2 significant issues. one million. whilst she is deployed outdoors the USA, he would possibly no longer have the skill to connect her until his energetic dedication is finished. Being national look after skill he would be assigned to a unit in the USA. 2. Ignoring the questionable constitutional authority of skill to mobilize national look after contraptions for use outdoors the USA different than in a declared conflict, if his unit is sent outdoors the USA that's going to be right into a conflict zone. counting on his protection rigidity occupational forte (MOS), he could or won't be assigned help. despite if that's no longer help, she won't be able to connect him. protection rigidity marriages artwork maximum suitable, from what I observed, whilst a minimum of between the events is in an exceptionally non appropriate field like prepare dinner, motor vehicle mechanic, or clerk. that helps the guy to just about continually have the skill to locate a posting close to or on an identical setting up as their better half. whilst the two events are in appropriate fields despite if an identical forte this turns into tougher. One the supply of slots for 2 human beings on an identical setting up would possibly no longer exist. 2 whilst diverse slots exist they are commonly in an identical unit and frequently in an identical place of work. it incredibly is considered as a source of conflict even whilst the two every person is enlisted or the two are officer and that they are friends no longer a solid/subordinate dating. With one occasion an officer and the different enlisted this does not be allowed and could rigidity assignments to diverse installations, probable diverse theaters.

Answer 6

Since you were involved prior to your military service and are in two entirely different branches of the service, there should be no issue with your being involved once you are commissioned. Keep in mind however that there are no garuntees you will be able to be stationed together, or even close to one another since you are two different branches (and these two rarely share bases).

Answer 7

The short answer is no. Realistically, as long as you don't make it a public spectacle, you shouldn't run into any problems. Both of you need to keep your mouth shut until after you're married...then it doesn't matter what your respective ranks are.

Answer 8

Yes, you are in the USAF, he's in the USMC; no problems that i can think of. I mean, you cannot help him advance in his career and neaither can you through him.

Now if you two were in the same branch, then there will be problems.

Answer 9

yes. you can establish a pre existing relationship that began before you were commissioned. Therefore, fraternization does not apply.

Answer 10

It shouldn't be a problem since you are in different services. Now, getting stationed near each other may be another story...