Can someone give me some advice.......How do you deal with someone who does not care when they do you wrong?

Question

I am trying to be a better person & it is working for me, but it seems like people around me are there to test me, and I don't always feel like I am passing. I am the kind of person where "it's all about the principle" & I don't know how to change that.

Ex: I let my daughter's aunt stay in my house for a week, and she lossed my house keys, and I got mad. Her take on it was I have money, and I will replace your debolt, so no worries. I didn't care if she could replace the dead bolt, it made me mad that she basically said she didn't care that she lost my keys because she could replace the dead bolt.

Ex: I told a friend about a close young family member who was born with HIV because this family memeber was going to play with her children, and I know everyone is not educated about it. She acted like she was ok, and then went and told that family member's teacher. I asked why, and she more or less said "oh we were just talking"

I just have a hard time dealing with, and accepting that there are just mean spirited people who don’t care what they do to you or how it makes you feel, and I over analyze it by asking myself are they unhappy within themselves, do they feel good when they purposely hurt people or make them mad. What do you call that, and what normally causes somebody to feel like your feelings does not matter or they seem like they having the inability to care about someone other then themselves?

Answer 1

I think you are over-analyzing the deadbolt issue. I think you are getting too worked up about it and should be glad that the lady wants to make it right by replacing the deadbolt. Just because she didn't express remorse the way you thought she should doesn't mean she is thoughtless or mean-spirited - it means she made a mistake and was trying to rectify it.
As far as telling the close friend......etc. I think you were out of line telling her. If you are so "educated" about it, why would there be a concern about her children playing with this child? If in your opinion, she needed to know, then why didn't the teacher need to know since this child would be spending time with the other children in her class??
You are expecting people to act in a way that you think is appropriate. It seems that if it isn't the way you are scripting in your mind, they are bad people. Everyone is different and as long as they aren't doing anything with malicious intent, I think that you need to be more accepting. btw, the child's mother might see you as being mean-spirited for telling the other person about her child's health issue.
Look inward before criticizing others.

Answer 2

All you can do is stand in your integrity and be gentle with the people you deal with, while keeping your scopes up.
When faced with someone who refuses to plug their brain in, all you can do is call them down on it so that hopefully they will be more conscious of their behavior.

At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. Walk away from the dummies... or give them enough rope to hang themselves with.

Answer 3

I don't think it is on purpose I think as a culture we have become desensitized to other peoples feelings we have become a nation of it is all about me. I say bravo to you for rising above that.

Never lower yourself to that level. At least you are sensitive enough to notice things like that and that is a good thing keep going and remember the only one you can control is yourself.

Answer 4

Label them as troublemakers and stay away from them.