…..argument with both my brother and sister-in-law…over her bad habit of starting a fight with my brother during any family function. It doesn’t matter if it’s a birthday party, anniversary, communion, graduation it could be whatever maybe even a funeral…..somehow some way a fight between them would erupt be a display for everyone to see.
So of course I was having a little get together with the family. When halfway into the party they seemed to be getting into another one of their fiasco, so my baby sister (she’s 20) just calmly stated that everyone was looking. Well she came out of her face and told my sister to stay out of her mouth and mind her business. Well its one thing to talk your nonsense to your husband, but when it comes to my family members it’s a whole different story. So in an instant my temper went to boiling point. I walked over to now three of them and asked to speak to them both privately. As we were walking to my dining room she continued her garbage with my brother. I basically told them both that if they feel a need to have their conversation they either find a private place to continue their mess or they can continue it out of my house, because I will not have my guest and feel uncomfortable in my own house because of their issue. She got real upset and say that my sister shouldn’t have said anything to her and that she was a child out of her place. I told her what my sister did was right because she was the one who was acting like a child and if she had any problem with the way I conducted myself in my own home she can choose to leave. They both left and the party continued and was a success, but my parents agreed that something had to be done but they are both afraid I have started a rift. I am not concerned about them being in or out of my life, but I don’t want problems either. What do you think?
2007-12-05 14:17:04 · 6 answers · asked by Naomi L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes you did the right thing by removing the combatants from among the rest of the guests.
Ideally, you should NOT ever invite these two to any social gathering because of their habit to engage in these fights. Exclude them and let sleeping dogs lie. If they call up asking whether you want to get together with them, tell them that you are sorry and don't have time. If they catch wind and try to call you down, just state your point that you don't want them fighting in your home... again... like they always do.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with.
2007-12-05 17:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did the right thing. Someone had to finally say something and you did. She needs to learn that if she has a problem then she either needs to wait until she is home or go to a private area to discuss the problem with her husband. You may have caused a rift in the family but I'm sure that your family functions will be much quieter now. There should be no problems. If she shows up to another family function and starts her drama again then you should speak up again and the family should back you up on what you tell her. She will either quit showing up or she will learn to keep her private life private.
2007-12-05 14:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you did the right thing....
Let them come back to you.... they will know that they are really out of line....
Forget about it and move on with your life...
Don't even think whether you have started a rift or not. Because the rift will start anyhow with or without you. So you don't have to be concern over this and carry the burden with you.
take care
2007-12-05 14:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's my place to say who is right or wrong her, however...
When someone is a guest in your home or anywhere else for that matter, they need to conduct themselves accordingly.
If people come to your house and cause a rukus, you are well within your rights to ask them to leave and never invite them back again.
I have (in the past) not invited someone to a family function when I knew they were going to cause a problem
Good luck
2007-12-05 14:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by gail s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe call your brother up and ask how they felt about the "intervention" , they may have realized that their fighting could make others uncomfortable. May I point out that you seem to blame the sister in law for all of the arguments, so if she is so hard to deal with, maybe your brother could benefit from talking to someone about how to handle her little displays of anger. If she doesn't get help, then god help them who have to deal with her, right?
2007-12-05 14:23:54 · answer #5 · answered by bonita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you totally did the right thing. It was your house and you have to control the situation. If they didn't like it, they had every opportunity to leave. It sounds to me like your s-i-l is jealous. Maybe of the closeness of your family, I dont know. You should ask your brother if she gets that way around her family. If she doesn't then you know she does this to control the situation because she is obviously jealous of some situation in your family
2007-12-05 14:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by jenk1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋